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Original poster

Pulling out of house purchase… WWYD?

79 replies

MadHatter36 · 01/06/2022 16:49

Hi everyone,

I’m in the process of purchasing a home for me and my husband to move into. We aren’t first time buyers - we are renting out our residential home and moving into this house we are purchasing.

The home we are buying was up for £395k, it had a lot of offers. We put an offer in or £400k, we wasn’t accepted. Few weeks later we got a call back saying the vendor now wanted to go with us as the person who they accepted couldn’t get the funds together but their offer was £410k!! I said we would agree at £403,000. Anyway, fast forward nearly 4 months, we are supposed to be exchanging this Monday.

Yesterday, my dream property came back on to the market (we viewed this 6 months ago, put an offer in, but someone went higher us - it’s now fell through and back on the market). I really really want this property after being rejected 6 months ago, so I called up the estate agents and put another offer in without another viewing. They’ve already got 8 offers on it. It’s a probate home being sold by solicitors. Anyway, I’ve put an offer in, but don’t find out until Monday / Tuesday whether they have been accepted. It was up for £525k, we’ve offered £545k. 20k over. In the meantime I’m supposed to be exchanging contracts Monday !! If we don’t get this dream home, I still want to complete on the property we are in the process we are purchasing. I’m thinking of every excuse under the sun to get out of signing the contracts on Monday as I want to know whether I’ve been accepted on my dream home.

my question is - if I pull out of my current purchase, what would happen? Will I owe the vendors any money? I’ll feel guilty, but my dream home has came back onto the market !

OP posts:

Thebeastofsleep · 01/06/2022 18:49

House buying is a financial transaction. Probably the biggest one most of us will make and you need to be certain you're comfortable with what you are doing. Take the feelings and wishes of others out of it and do what is best for you.

Tell your solicitor you need a few more days. You don't need to say why. Then wait and see what happens with your dream house.

Beees · 01/06/2022 18:53

Whinge · 01/06/2022 18:32

Your post has a lot of I, but you're not buying it alone. What does your husband think? Does he want to risk having no house, or go ahead and complete on the current property.

Thai stood out to me too so I'm really glad someone else picked up on it. Doesn't your husband get a say!? It's not a dream property it's just another house and you have no idea whether it's even a viable option. I suggest you stick with your original purchase and take off the rose coloured glasses.

Bunny2607 · 01/06/2022 18:57

I just want to say (as a solicitor working in conveyancing) that just because you aim to exchange on Monday doesn’t mean it will happen. The other side could be out of the office, unable to reach their client for authority to exchange etc. its also bank holiday on Monday so in England most solicitors won’t be working. There’s also final searches your solicitor needs to do at land registry who will presumably be closed Monday.
the point i’m trying to make is you could easily play for time til you find out about the other house, and there are loads of reasons why exchange might not even happen when all parties want it to.

Beees · 01/06/2022 19:00

its also bank holiday on Monday so in England most solicitors won’t be working.

Unless I missed the memo it's not a bank holiday on Monday. Thursday and Friday are the Bank Holidays. Monday is a normal working day.

caringcarer · 01/06/2022 19:02

If self employed people could not get mortgage this would have been flagged up within a month. I think it is more likely that survey flagged up a big problem.

YukoandHiro · 01/06/2022 19:05

Pulling out on exchange is a real cunt move.

Tell them NOW that you want to delay exchange. Do not pull the whole rug out of them by surprise on the day they expect everything to move forward.

Is there a chain involved? You're destroying the whole chain if you do this. Honestly it's despicable behaviour. When you have an offer accepted somewhere, once the bulk of the paperwork is done, you need to just accept your decision and stop playing the market.

Cervinia · 01/06/2022 20:11

I think karma may come and bite you on the arse, this is a massive risk and fairly immoral, but it’s your risk to take and there won’t be any second chances.

LaFloristaCalista · 01/06/2022 21:06

All these people talking about karma, do you really believe in that?

OP, I would just tell your solicitor you can't come in on Monday. No excuses needed

SafelySoftly · 01/06/2022 21:13

I honestly think there’s a real risk in this market you’ll end up with no house at all, risky… I presume you’re chain free??

AntikytheraMech · 02/06/2022 00:29

You're the one who is going to have to live in whichever property you buy. if the dream property is the one that you want, you should move heaven and earth to get it. You owe nothing to anyone else apart from yourself. Life is life, dog eat Dog. Go for the dream house and make it happen.

WoodlandWalks123 · 02/06/2022 04:14

AntikytheraMech · 02/06/2022 00:29

Totally agree!!

You’re the one who has to live in it and you shouldn’t feel morally obliged to complete on the biggest type of life purchase there is. Do what works for you - I do think you need a degree of certainty about the new house though as you don’t want to lose both of them. I really don’t think karma should be a thought here! It goes on all the bloody time and agents are used to it.

HairyBum · 02/06/2022 04:57

Delay the exchange by a couple of days. Tell them a private matter has come up and you’re not able to exchange till Wednesday or Thursday. Ask your solicitor to wait for your instruction before plowing ahead with the exchange. You don’t need to go into details.

if the other house was one I had a deep connection with, I would pull out of the present purchase on conformation that the new offer had been accepted.

im not an arse, I’ve bought and sold plenty of times and have always been efficient, straight forward and fair. However this is really like any other life purchase and what brings you joy and fulfilment matters immensely. Its sad that there would be some fall out for your present sellers, however it would be wrong to go through with a house purchase simply not to let someone down. Sometimes fate is positive.

Intrigueddotcom · 02/06/2022 05:00

You don’t need to think of excuses

it is before exchange of contracts

you say you have found an alternative property

as for costs incurred. Only your solicitors

Intrigueddotcom · 02/06/2022 05:03

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 01/06/2022 16:52

Don't be an arse
complete the purchase you're in the middle of buying.
you say both exchange and complete - if you've exchanged you'll lose your deposit, if you haven't yet then you'll only be an arse and lose all the money you've spent on conveyancing.

Oh don’t be so daft

exchange contracts and spend
hundreds of thousands of pounds on a property that is your second choice
why?
not to put the vendors to inconvenience and perhaps a couple of thousand on survey costs

HappyHappyHermit · 02/06/2022 05:14

Personally with the market as it is I wouldn't want to lose out on the one you are already buying. Have you been to look around the 'dream' house? It may not be what you think. Also, are you definitely going to be able to afford to go so much over the asking price if the mortgage lender only values at asking? Builders and materials are very expensive and hard to get at the moment so you may have to wait quite a while to start any work on it. You could try requesting to view the original survey to see what it threw up, often those who have pulled out are willing to 'sell' it for a small amount.

fluffi · 02/06/2022 06:48

You won’t owe vendors anything before exchange. You’ll only incur your conveyancing costs to your solicitor incurred so far. Delay exchange and see if you are successful on bid for other house and real reason why sale collapsed after 6 months agree that unaffordability is unlikely to be the real reason

Also given the stamp duty (~£10k?) you are also incurring on top of house price, you definitely don’t want to be wasting money on a house that is could be second best when a delay of a few days may make a huge difference to your quality of life, given other house is bigger & better area. You’ll have to pay stamp duty again if you decide to move again because you aren’t happy in house#1, so delay of a few delays could save you thousands despite costs you’ve already incurred for house #1.

I disagree re:estate agents “blacklisting” too, they just want their commission, they have people changing their mind all the time, as long as you don’t do this several times they don’t care, especially as it sounds like your original purchase is a popular house with many interested parties, so it’ll be no effort for them to secure another buyer.

Youaremysunshine14 · 02/06/2022 06:58

Speaking as someone who is self-employed, I doubt it's a sudden discrepancy in their finances that's come to light, that would've been sorted v. early in the process because lenders want to see three years' worth of accounts. We didn't start looking until we were sure I'd passed the checks. You say the house needs a lot of work – I think it's more likely there's something structurally wrong that's shown in the survey.

By all means pretend you've got Covid or something to delay signing the contract, but be aware your dream house could be anything but and the house you are on the cusp of buying will be lost to you. Plus, pulling out at exchange is a really shitty thing to do.

Parkingt111 · 03/06/2022 19:55

My husband and I are currently in the process of buying, I am also self employed and the main earner, if there was an issue we wouldnt have got our mortgage offer so the reason doesn't sound very credible 6 months down the line.
I would proceed with caution

IrisVersicolor · 03/06/2022 21:11

Alls fair in love and conveyancing.

Just postpone exchange until you know for sure.

How far along is probate, is it through yet?

Starseeking · 03/06/2022 21:15

Pulling out would be an awful thing to do after 4 months. I say that from the other side, as a buyer whose vendor pulled out after 7 months as she'd changed her mind about selling (elderly vendor who'd lived in the house 45 years).

However, you have to do what is best for you and your family, so if you succeed in "winning the bidding war" for your dream property, and moving forward with that, be mindful that that too could fall apart after months, and then you'll be back to square one and looking, when you could have already moved.

IrisVersicolor · 03/06/2022 21:17

Parkingt111 · 03/06/2022 19:55

People put bids in on houses they can’t afford and pull out all the time.

It partly depends on how much a house will cost to fix which they can’t know that upfront.

The flat I’m in now - first buyer pulled out as they ran over the stamp duty holiday and couldn’t afford it, the second buyer pulled out as the mortgage company took against an aspect of the lease at the last minute.

notangelinajolie · 03/06/2022 23:35

Follow your heart OP. We were in the same boat as you 14 years ago. The house of my dreams came on the market the day we were due to exchange. We did the right thing and exchanged. In all the time we lived there I never called it home - it was always 'the house'.
When the chancellor announced the stamp duty holiday, we realised that moving was now or never and we put the house on the market, with no clue of where we would go. We sold very quickly and we offered on a house that on paper was perfect. Our offer was accepted and we appointed a solicitor and had a survey done.
And yes, you guessed it ... dream house came on the market again.
We went to see it. DH (behind my back) put in an offer and secretly negotiated to buy. This is the only time in over 30 years of marriage that he's ever done anything without me knowing.
Fast forward 12 months and we are here - it's got damp, needs a new roof, the floor boards are rotten and we are sat looking at bare brick and dirty concrete floors. But we don't care. We are finally home and I'm not moving house again. Ever.

StuckInARug · 04/06/2022 07:11

I’d just be honest with them. Explain what you’ve told us - it’s your absolute dream property etc, and you feel really terrible about it etc. yeah it’s not a great thing to do but it’s the nature of house selling and buying! The sellers can equally pull out at any minute. And I’m guessing perhaps in your situation they would do the same. It’s unfortunately for all involved if there is a chain, but again, it’s just the awful English system!

BlueMongoose · 04/06/2022 11:19

If you wish to behave as decently as it remains possible to do should you decide to try for the 'dream house', all you can do is tell the truth to your vendor. They may be willing to wait to see what happens with the 'dream' house , but if they decide to look for a more committed buyer, and I think I probably would, then they would be within their rights legally and morally.

ByeByeMissAmericanPie · 04/06/2022 11:44

I saw my dream home back in September last year. It went to best and final and I missed out. I dreamt about the house for months. Really really upset.

Ive since discovered that it has massive access issues over a private drive. The vendor is an arse and it’s all going to court. The family who won the bid are in rented and will have to stay there until it’s sorted.

It was presented as a ‘minor issue’ when I viewed.

I would do a lot of digging over why it’s back on the market after 6 months, and as a probate sale, it won’t be plain sailing either.

This house buying lark is sooooo stressful.

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