I just typed a massive reply to you Cob, in favour of Burgess Hill, and lost it. Have to go now, but briefly;
I reckon Hassocks would be for you in terms of a bit alternative, villagey etc, but its a bit pricey, at least 2 shabby chic shops for instance!
I moved to BH from London because my teenage son would have been miserable in Keymer/Chailey/Ditchling where we also looked.
Here he can get the train in 10 minutes walking distance back to his London friends, or to Brighton for school, Lewes for friends etc.
I can walk to a field and then open countryside in 1 minute for dog walks, and
yet drive into town (not exciting I admit) in 2 minutes
BUT I can park easily and do
Waitrose, Boots, Post Office, etc all the boring stuff dealt with with no hassle.
Good doctors, hospitals near.
Then drive in to Brighton in 15 minutes for shops, restaurants etc.
I actually love it here, though it isn't smart, or as sought after as other villages. Massive gardens, good housing stock in your budget.
I would do it again, although didn't use the local schools, for choice in future would go to Hurstpierpoint, but the traffic is a mare, and I would still end up coming back here for everyday stuff, rather than going there for chic.