Non selective private worth the money?

[Razzmata]

Lots of threads about private vs state, but none about the non-selective privates!

Are they really worth it, speaking if academic value add only, compared to state schools (exclude valued add extra curriculars plz)!

To be specific, feltham has rubbish state schools, DD learns 80% at home. So either I move to twickenham and pay higher rent to get state school I want, Or stay in Feltham and put in private non selective schools like Staines prep. Too late to prep for selective Yr 3 (7+ tests)

@WrongSwanson we have been on state waiting list for 3 yrs (Feltham area) and never got a place to move. Currently in outstanding school but it's just so bad, more crowd control. Yr 1, my dd just curled up in fear cz her teacher used to scream. Yr 2 teacher is better but we are doing all the studying at home.
Yr 3 and onwards, we have only good ofsted so I'm really worried what sort of teachers we could get, or dd can go down the fear route again.
Being a single mum, doing the runs for extra curriculars is v hard, with late work hrs. I already have no life :)

OP I’m local to you so know the schools/areas you’re talking about. Is Twickenham the only option for moving? There may be other areas not quite such a leap up in rent. Is your DC very bright, what sort of secondary are you hoping for? Are they at Feltham Hill now? Have you asked the school to stretch her more?

Staines Prep is a nice school from what I know, though my information might be outdated. Non selective private primaries still have smaller class sizes, usually more resources, and tbh children are less likely to be disruptive for a myriad of reasons.

I think moving areas makes most sense. Financially it sounds like you would be incredibly overstretched if you went private

Also - I wouldn’t worry about Good vs Outstanding OFSTED so much. I wouldn’t necessarily want an Outstanding school for my children, sometimes they get that label because they work children very hard in certain areas but to the exclusion of all else. Education becomes very narrow, no art, no drama, nothing holistic. I’d rather a Good rated school that teaches the whole child and genuinely cares about them and their development. Have you looked at other Good schools in the area?

@BuffaloCauliflower good to hear! She's at Cardinal and since reception I've been told by school not to try so hard :( eventually I stopped asking them to stretch the child's learning and she was left at expected level. Yr 1 was especially a disaster and DD attainment was secure (not deepening), while I could see great potential in her.
Through the summers we worked at home and Dd improved leaps and bounds. When she went to Yr 2, teacher acknowledged the difference and Dd was moved up. She's in a few months doing age 8-9 math with me.
I would say DD is exceptionally bright or even v bright, but she responds really well to pressure and learns fast. Problem solving is a bit not strong that's why I feel she's not naturally a scientist type bright :)

So with stretching if she's that good, she may fall behind again in state(my worst fear) and I can't carry on at this rate teaching her, cz I have full time work and late hrs. My health is declining

If your health is declining why not pay a tutor to stretch her for now?

@WrongSwanson I want to get her to a certain level eg her spellings are mad. Tutors r so costly, I thought I could do as much as I can and then get her steady tuitions late (which she shouldn't need if she gets on track once with me). She is good, just was a bad Yr 1.

We are paying for private, simply because the state schools are just not great and with all due respect are extremely rough.

I was only saying to DH yesterday, NOT sending our son to private (non selective prep) was the best thing we ever did. We had our name down for a place and changed our mind closer to the time. We are at a 'good' state school, which as a PP poster is not an issue. With OFSTED bringing a lot of the grades down to 'good' this will still be a very acceptable school.

Personally, now my son is Year 5, I just don't think the level of education covered in primary needs a prep environment. I don't know your area, but we are in a full grammar school area, and my son does work with a tutor to prepare. He doesn't need to be in a prep school for that and I think the amount some of these school prep is too much anyway.

I would ask about your child - is she happy, does she have friends? If she is, I'd likely leave her where she is and top up with a tutor or continue with a bit of additional work at home if you want.

If she isn't then I'd be exploring other state school options and a potential move rather than committing to primary prep.

If tutors are a stretch for you then how are you going to fund private fees. Bearing in mind, in my experience, (having been to both state and private) it wasn't much fun for the children whose parents could barely afford to send them to the school - some of my peers were very stressed by the burden on their parents

@WrongSwanson no, it's not that bad for me, sorry if it appeared a bit misleading..by tutors, I meant I'd rather do it myself (mothers guilt) and save as much as I can also.

@BuffaloCauliflower and one correction "I would NOT say DD is exceptionally bright or even v bright, SHES MIDDLE OF THE ROAD, but she responds really well to pressure and learns fast. Problem solving is a bit not strong that's why I feel she's not naturally a scientist type bright :)

Do Staines prep offer any bursaries? That might be worth looking into.
All the private school have good second hand uniform sales.
Longer school day too but longer holidays.

I don’t have any recent experience of Staines Prep, but do work with people who have had children that went there.
They all had positive feedback - gentle school not to pushy. Good as a working parent with wrap around care - small classes.
Children went onto a range of secondaries - Grammar seemed to be the main aim, few went to local private schools. (But this was a while ago)
I think you also need to think ahead of where next?
I had one friend who didn’t like it & moved to bishopgates which is up to age 13.

My daughter went to a non selective prep. It still had good teachers, rigorous teaching and a pleasant environment. Sorry to sound snobbish but the downside was that culturally, she’d have been better off mixing with her friends at her old state school.

@PrinceHaz Staines prep has a good mix. Other preps were not mixed at all. The classes looked very well behaved too.
moving to another area not knowing what school we will get, will we be in catchment, all seems so overwhelming

@Nottodaty many tx, Staines prep looks like a place where mixed social strata families go, not just the wealthy ones. Plus my DD has a decent head, she's v kind and understanding, I'm sure she will not want the material things that come with wealth, but in that school she may as well not even feel the divide cz it's so well mixed.
I'm consistently getting good reviews on that school, so that's reassuring. I just don't know if it's a good decision yet, to pay fee or just stay state. moving to another location not knowing what school will be offered, how to then get the right rental place, what do ppl do? First rent then search for school? Or get school then search rental in catchment?

I have a SEN child at a non selective prep and it’s brilliant for him. @BackT , I find your rich/thick/SEN comment really insulting. The school is holistic, caring and nurturing and has a large amount of gifted and talented children. Just because they accept SEN children and don’t choose to publish their results, doesn’t mean it’s a school for the moneyed dregs of society. I personally feel it’s the mark of a great independent school if they have at lest 1 child with an EHCP on their ISI inspection report because the process of getting an ECHP in an independant school incredibly hard, a massive learning curve and takes a fantastically good SEN team with a huge amount of knowledge to achieve.

OP- our school have just increased their fees by 10% due to COL, and have also just written to the parents to advise that if they are made to go VAT registered, then they would pass on a maximum of 15% as they can claim at least 5% back on expenditure, and they would look at ways of cost cutting. I think all schools will have to do this as there would be an exodus and their businesses wouldn’t be viable.

My second primary school actually had smallish class sizes (nowhere near 30), and the education itself was good, but the problem I still had was bullying, primarily outside the classroom. I am female, and all the bullying came from boys, including one incident of them following me home from school and trying to beat me up with scooters. The school didn’t do anything to help.

I think some state schools would have been ok for me but the issue is always the luck of the draw for what’s in your catchment. My catchment secondary school not only would have had the same boys going to it, but had a general problem with crime. Their students broke into my primary school one night, stole some computers and set them on fire on our field (schools were next door to each other). But I did live in a rough area. In my parents couldn’t afford private school, i would hope they would have moved house tbh.

One huge advantage of private school is is that bullying or bad behaviour is better managed. They can easily be expelled. During my GCSEs, a member of the public called our school to report they’d seen some of my friends smoking in their school uniform away from the school. They got absolutely bollocked.

It also depends on the pupil as an individual and what suits them and their capabilities. I went to a non-selective, my brother went to a selective. He got higher grades at GCSEs and A levels than me, but I ultimately got a higher grade at uni, as I’m better at independent study.

My current situation where I live now is that i live next door to a good state primary. Huge classes but i hear very good things and i’ll be happy to send my kids there. I’m a bit more sceptical about the state secondary schools, and we are lucky enough to also have grammar schools as a potential option, but we won’t be able to afford private. If i couldn’t get my kids into a decent school, i’d move.

@MariaVT65 hi many tx for the detailed feedback. I'm curious what area is it that u mention is plenty of grammar schools there, if u don't mind sharing

You don’t need to worry too much about catchment if you’re applying for an in-year place. Phone Richmond Council and find out which schools (if any) have space. I think (but check) in theory you could even take a place while staying in Feltham if there’s one going?

The C of E schools have the odd prayer/religious assembly/trip to church but it’s not too full-on, they are pretty inclusive. Most of the families at the C of E school we’ve just left weren’t particularly religious.

@Kta7 tx, I could not find a no to call Richmond council at for schools. Just an email was given. They gave us a waiting list at best.

Any other tips? Having been on waiting list schools in Feltham for 3 yrs, I have lost all hope