Hi,
I don’t know how this popped up in my feed but it caught my interest.
We were in a different situation as were in Didsbury when we had our DS. Faced with realisation that at that time there were limited options for secondary schools in the area and hearing the glowing recommendations about Trafford in general and Sale/Altrincham/Hale/Hale Barns in particular from our friends/work colleagues, we set about looking at schools both in the state and independent sector across Central and South Manchester before settling upon our choice and then looking for a house.
Our priorities were always the pastoral development of our DS’s needs and character first and to a secondary (but not lesser) extent the academic. My spouse and I are both professionals from an ethnic background and academic pursuits were an expectation when growing up. However in our profession we’ve witnessed how this is often for naught if not accompanied by integrity and personal strength of character.
It’s daunting to compare schools moreso when paying fees. Make no mistake about it, from my analysis of the results and friends who go to state schools in Altrincham/Sale the average state school is a cut above those elsewhere. Therefore the independent sector really have to provide something above to justify the fees.
My wife is super sensitive to Queen Bee types having been bullied at school and Uni. But her intuition has never been wrong. So when she rejected St Bedes, I trusted in her choice. She’s not Christian so I was gobsmacked when after shortlisting Lady Barn in Cheadle, she selected St Ambrose Preparatory in Hale Barns as her first choice. As others have pointed out this doesn’t really impact things as he has Jewish, Muslim and atheist classmates without thinking anything of it. Weirdly he seemed to have picked up more about other faiths e.g. such as my wife’s Sikh faith than she is aware of herself. Go figure.
It’s been 2 years now and apart from the odd teething issues, we’ve found it’s been absolutely brilliant. That’s why I thought I’d actually take the time to write this in the hope that it might help someone else.
Academically, there are no reference points. Our DS is on par with his friends to go to Hale Prep/Bowden Prep/Loreto Prep as far as we can tell. What does draw attention is that he seems at least academically a year ahead in comparison to friends who attend state primaries like St Vincent or Woodley. But I hasten to add he’s never felt pressured to do so. Rather there is an expectation that he will use his full capabilities rather than coasting on his laurels. This view has been reinforced from teacher meetings that outlined how they assessed his potential and supported him where he needed help so that he never lagged in any sphere. My takeaway is that the focus isn’t on meeting a minimum standard but on developing potential where it exists.
Now to the dreaded parent groups.
I’ll admit that we did have a lot of trepidation having read everything on MumsNet. Did I mention that my wife is sensitive to the slightest of slights? Over time we’ve gotten to know other parents and widened our social circle a lot. Yes, the cross section is a lot wider than the average school but it’s telling that the children of a premier league football player can happily mix with a landscaper’s without issue. From colleagues who live in Alderley Edge, I understand there’s a tip towards one end of the socio-economic spectrum.
It used to be all boys but now admits girls. It’s not changed anything as far as we can see.
Moving on to the pastoral aspect, we feared that our DS may have traits that could lead to him being ostracised. Nothing clinical mind you. Our concerns were taken seriously and we were reassured by his teachers over time. The small class sizes make for an unusual dynamic in that he’s recognised (and vice versa) by older students when we’re out and about in the nearby villages.
Finally, I have to point out that despite my endorsement it might still not end up being your cup of tea. That happened with one of our DS’ classmates. His parents took him out at the end of term last year as they were dissatisfied with the remote teaching during the pandemic. We understand and still keep in touch as they’re very nice people.
We get the guilt that comes along with being able to send our DS to the independent sector but take solace in that it might free up a space that could be used for someone else. It’s not an easy answer or for everyone, but that we have the choice is something to be thankful for.
I’ll conclude with my final observation, whenever I collect my son, I see the kids in the junior classes running around and having such a good time that their parents almost literally have to drag them away from the school. The opposite being true in the mornings when they’re unleashed within the gate to gambol with their mates.
Since it’s 2021, I’m sure you’ve made a choice and hope everything worked out.