Home made uniform?

[WoolyMama]

Is this an daft idea?
I really want to make most of dd's uniform when she goes to school - I'll probably buy shirts but I'd like to knit or sew the rest.

I'm quite a confident sewer and knitter and already make a lot of dc's clothes

The school uniform isn't super strict so they'll definitely be allowed and younger dc's are both girls so stuff can be handed down.

But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be allowed to fit in if you wish. Choosing to be different is fine if the child is choosing- but in my opinion not on the child's behalf.

I'm really astonished that so many people have either been to awful schools that allowed this kind of bullying or have sent their children to them without questioning how wrong it is or trying to make it better.

I remember DD's teacher in Y2 saying to me something about how her cardigan was non-standard and well, they just want to fit in, don't they? I suppose she had been to a similarly awful school or worked in one previously. DD didn't actually care one tiny bit because she was SIX. She just liked that cardigan better because it was warmer and softer than the supermarket equivalents so she carried on wearing it. Not one child at school ever even noticed that she wasn't wearing a supermarket cardi which most were (or if they did it was never ever mentioned) because it was a good school that did not tolerate any kind of bullying whether appearance-based or otherwise. That teacher didn't really fit in to the general school culture and left the next year.

If your children are at schools where this kind of thing goes on, I really urge you to take it to the senior leadership team and get it stopped. Life doesn't have to be like this!

Hand knits are a sign of wealth and time spent, but they used to be a sign of poverty. Now you can buy very cheap uniforms in the supermarket shop bought stuff has no status anymore. There might be a label hierarchy, but hand made says my family has enough means that my mum can sit down and make things for me.

I completely agree that handmade /= poor, but the We-Are-Considerably-Richer-Than-You attitude suggested by the above is pretty foul too.

I had homemade dresses. No one ever bullied me but I coveted the polyester M&S ones my friends wore, and was really happy the last year when my mum got me one (cotton, or at least cotton mix) from BHS. I also had a skirt I hated so much because it wasn't like my friends' ones that I deliberately used to wipe my gluey hands on it. (My mother herself remembers how her own mother made her school blouses rather than buy them, and she hated that the stripes on her collar went a different way from everyone else's.) You know your child but be alert to their feelings. I never felt able to tell my mother, and she didn't tell hers.

But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't be allowed to fit in if you wish.

Fitting in means that the group is welcoming, that you are able to talk to people, share what you are doing and how you feel; it works both ways.
Fitting in is NOT being a clone.
Children who wear purple pyjamas to school and handmade shoes and who don't have a TV and spend all their spare time in the woods and take home-woven lentils for lunch can "fit in".
Children who have chain store uniform, brand name trainers, a Smiggle bag, a Jojo bow, and who watch all the same TV shows as the other children, can still not fit in.
And schools can be very cliquey or not. They can accept the child who's lived all over the world and never been to school, or reject the child they've been to nursery with who has the wrong brand of cheese on their sandwiches.

And really, if you felt so upset about having a different bag and shoes then either
a) they were specified on the school uniform list but your parents chose to ignore them (which is an entirely different issue) or

b) every SINGLE other child in the school went to exactly the same shop and bought exactly the same style in some hideous borg mentality (thankfully I doubt that's true - for a start, styles go out of stock and don't fit some children) or

c) you weren't the only child who had different accessories, but bullies decided to bully you and that was the thing they decided to use. If you had the same accessories they'd have decided your name began with the wrong letter. That's an issue for school to sort out and would not have changed had you had the clone bag and shoes. (This was what happened to me. Bullies decided to bully me, what I did was irrelevant, and school was completely ineffectual. I suspect this is what happened to you as usually that is the case with bullying that isn't intervened with). Or

d) actually you weren't the only child who had different accessories and that wasn't why you were bullied - but it bothered you more than it bothered the other children who had different accessories. So that's an issue with your confidence, and something for school/parents to pick up on, not an issue with the bag/shoes. If you had had the same bag/shoes, you would have started to fret over something else - did you have the same for tea at home as all the other children? Did you go to bed at the same time? Did you watch the same TV shows? In what other way could you be exactly the same but weren't, that would mean you didn't "fit in"?

If you'd take pleasure in making these things then why not? As you probably know making clothes tends to be more expensive than the supermarket bog standard stuff, and uniform does tend to get ruined or lost, but if that doesn't overly concern you go for it!

I knit and I think it makes more sense to do more interesting clothes for the weekends and holidays. Where is the fun in trying to replicate a boring blue cardi?

Knitting things usually works out more expensive than buying them IME. It's something you do for creative reasons.

"Bullying" is a red herring IMO. Even if the school is great and does not allow any bullying at all, the kid may still feel awkward and self conscious. Why do this when you could make lovely, original things to be worn on other occasions?

My mum knitted all my school cardigans and jumpers at primary and made my summer dresses. Not a problem at all

My Mum did as well she stopped for us older ones by late primary and it wasn't cost effective for youngest of us.

I think giving the child a choice is the best option - cotton clothing isn't as easy as many think - I have to get cotton for DS due to eczema M&S and John Lewis or expensive eczema clothing sites seem to be it.

bigkite and others, I forgot to say, but as well as Debenhams, I actually also found some 100% cotton ones in Matalan.

drspouse thanks - I do keep looking as does MIL at other shops - especially as M& S don't have uniform all year round.

Think it's harder for boy oddly - even supermarkest do 100% cotton summer dresses for girls - I couldn't even find 100% cotton shirts this year for DS in them and had to get M & S ones.

For PE shorts I got some on eBay but for everyday I've had to get non-school chinos (doesn't help that his school doesn't wear grey!).

No, not a daft idea, you should definitely do it (though I wonder if 100% wool might be a bad in a super heated classroom). My sister makes uniform for her daughters (trousers, pinafores etc) and it looks lovely and not "home-made" at all. I'm part way through 2 pairs of black trousers for my year 3 son. I usually buy M&S "skin kind" but they haven't been in stock this year. Need to go finish them!

When I was at Primary, many years ago, there was a girl who had a pair of knitted dungarees... they were blue. She wore them for years, with extra length being knitted in the legs for her... by the last year of school she was still wearing them and about the bottom 6 inches were all rows of different shades of blue!

My daughter's been socially excluded to the point that if the children involved were older I wouldn't hesitate to call it bullying (it's definitely intentional and targeted by a couple of them) from reception for being different. It shouldn't happen, school does their damndest to make sure it doesn't happen... but it bloody well DOES.

Y1 daughter wearing a cardigan that, by the end of the year had the usual paint and whiteboard pen stains, had another child in the class (who has additional needs so the socially inappropriate comments were at least understandable) going on at her about her "dirty clothes".

Kids can be absolutely horrid to their peers. You can wish rainbows and sunbeams and line dancing unicorns of goodwill all you want - but it happens and I wouldn't want to be intentionally setting my child up from the outset.

And anyway - DD1's cardigan lost a battle with a pot of painty water on Friday - it's been through the wash and stain remover three times over the weekend till I got the mark off (first week of term - I went mildly to war on it)... I cannot see a hand knit standing up to that kind of epic laundry battling - unless you knitted it with barbed wire or something.

Homemade is great. But keep your kids below the radar of bullies by saving homemade for home.
No, the bullied are not to blame for shitty treatment from other kids but some fights are better avoided.

I had some knitted jumpers and cardigans and a few hand made summer dresses when I was at school - no one ever teased me about them. A few girls made comments about the expensive school shop clothes that I wore as well (the official uniform dress codes had been relaxed but my mum insisted I wore the proper school shop clothes). I was bullied at school but not about the hand made clothes.

My child wore some hand knitted cardigans when she was younger but they took a lot of effort and time to make so we bought the rest. We only had other mums asking where we got them.

Maybe it depends on what the school is like?

It will not benefit your DD in any way, and is really only a way for you to project your values and preferences onto her.

Agee with this. Plus - as a practical point - the nasty polyester uniform goes on a quick wash and is dry in a couple of hours, which I’ve found a huge bonus!

I’m a crocheter/knitter/sewer too and just wouldn’t go there with kids uniform. Agree with others they need standard logo/supermarket stuff so they don’t stand out.

You might be able to make them a hat/scarf but otherwise would make for out of school or more clothes for you. Always more projects than time available!

I feel so sad for all of you that are worried about your children standing out and being picked on. I'm so sorry your children are at such awful schools. It shouldn't be like this.

Another child of the 1970s. We also couldn't buy our summer uniform in the shops. School just told you which paper pattern it was and where to buy the fabric. If your mum couldn't make it you spent spring term making it yourself in home economics. Did wonders for concentration in class

Glaciferous I don’t think it is about being at awful schools. I think it’s projection of personal childhood experiences in a different time.

Yes, that makes sense. You might be right!

My kids are actually at a really good school - but kids comment on differences, and they tend to hit a point where all they want to do is be the same as everyone else. My kid IS different - she has different equipment to help her in school, she speaks and moves differently - that's enough to make it harder for her to settle into a new social mix - seems to happen every year when they mix the classes up just from kids being wary of someone who isn't quite the same and it'll no doubt be settled down by about Christmas - but I'm not going to make it harder going for her if I can avoid that.

Plus like I say - seriously go for as easy to launder and dry as you possibly can! My kids do wear a lot of hand knitted stuff and hand made stuff on weekends etc and there's no way that stuff would stand up to the battering that the school uniform gets through the washing machine!

No no, please don't send her in knitted things.

My kids are actually at a really good school

It's not a good school in my book if it doesn't teach children very explicitly and with zero tolerance that judging anyone on their appearance is completely wrong. I'm pleased to say that DD's school did exactly that and she was never picked on for wearing homemade clothes or indeed any other aspect of her appearance.