Princess dressing up in reception

[jackierussell]

This is a bit of an AIBU, we are getting increasing uncomfortable with the amount of dressing up as Disney princesses that seems to be happening in our daughters reception class, the class is small and comprises 80% girls. The teacher has already made several comments about them being a group with lots of strong characters, and it seems a lot of their play involves dressing up a a princess and/or arguing about who is wearing what. We haven't banned princess stuff at home but don't try to encourage it and all the talk about who was which princess at school is making me feeling queasy! I also feel it is quite excluding for the boys in the class. Is princess dressing up every day common in reception, I can't help but feel that the dressing up could be tailored to the half term topic, down played or based on more every day roles. Fair enough if they have to play princesses but why give them the Disney style dresses? I am also concerned that it is not helping with the class dynamics.

It baffles me too Sparklycat. It is a phase - I remember wanting to be a princess rather than a firefighter when that age. What gets me is that no one moans if the 5 yr old boy chooses to dress up as a princess (which they do) it is just looked down on in girls.

I wouldn't necessarily assume that the fighting over the princess costumes is because the school don't have enough other dressing up items. It's probably just that they aren't interested in them as much at the moment. The solution to that is likely to be buying lots more princess costumes I'm afraid. Although I'd be surprised if there wasn't some sort of hierarchy within the princess costumes.

Probably better just to use it as a learning opportunity for social skills and sharing. They'll have moved onto fighting over something a bit more 'worthy' in a few months.

Just because girls gravitate towards princess dresses at 4 will not be a reflection of how they are at 14 some girls like princessy things and thats ok it really is they are 4 its dress up its fine

My nearly 18yr old thinks belle from beauty and the beast is the ultimate princess but she is also batman obsessed im baffled by the notion that princess fairy wings glittery shit for girls is seen as weak and vapid.

I believe in free choice in dressing up. I hate the fact that you provide the whole range and then have disapproval at the choice of a 4/5 yr old.
I also hate the double standard.
If it is 'bad' for a girl to choose the pink princess dress it is 'bad' for the boy.
Very often it is the peculiar message that it is looked down on in girls and applauded in boys.
They are small children having fun! Why not leave it at that?

I know just let them play.I work with toddlers up to 4 and they dress up in all sorts its pretend we have every outfit you can imagine and some of the boys clip clip in princess shoes while being a police man or whatever the girls also clip clop about its fine and nothing to get in a tizz about.

Ime It is possible to raise independent strong girls who like a bit of glitter floaty dresses and unicorns its no reflection on them

Well said MrsJayy.

I'm not sure where the gender stereotyped toys thing veered quite so off message. I don't think let toys be toys etc was ever meant to mean that we discouraged children from playing with toys that were stereotypically their gender. And it does seem to be girls coming off worst off with this message.

How does the OP know exactly what is going on anyway? Presumably it's coming through her 4yr old. Which is more likely to be a reflection of her current interests rather than of exactly how much time is being spent playing princesses and how much is spent doing other stuff.

The girl in my son's toddler group who was always monopolising the princess costumes is now an aeronautical engineer. Luckily for her she had a laid back mother who didn't fuss about what she chose to play in the reception class!

Well exactly its just 4yr old angst really isnt it the princess dresses will be something else next year

Every day they are dressing up?
I have had 3 DD's go through reception and have to say they never dressed up every day. golden time on a Friday only.

What a shame kilmuir. I hate the idea of golden time in Reception.

Have they only ever dressed up during golden time or have they just never really talked about it kilmuir. A reception class with no role play area and dressing up materials in it's continuous provision would be rare ime. I don't think I've ever seen one without.

Is there a point to golden time in reception (or any year really)? Can't really see how it's much different to continuous provision which children should be accessing every day.

Reception classes wouldn't necessarily have princess costumes available every day for the whole year but it would be a very strange reception class that didn't have role play as part of the continuous provision available every single day.
As someone who taught reception for almost two decades I agree there isn't any point in Golden Time Rafa (actually think it's pointless at any year group).

As a child i would have killed for a Disney princess dress, but this was the 70s i got a bright orange acrylic poncho. But in my head i was a princess being saved by princes.

So now as an adult i live in huge flouncy dresses at work...
as a computer programmer, not writing pretty front ends i have men to do that but serious back office stuff.
have been a battling staunch feminist my whole adult life, it doesn't have to end up bad.

This too shall pass.

Seriously. Let if go.

It is a 4/5 year old thing. Possibly to 6.

Then they will tire of it.

Then you will fight to get them to wear anything but jeans and trainers. My DD is now 9 and for the last 2-3 years you would not catch her near anything princessy.

Let them be.

I feel sorry for children that are so micro managed that even play isn't free.

IME no matter what the theme - World Book Day, people who help us, Children In Need, Ancient Egypt - most small girls will come in dressed as a Disney princess and over 50% of boys will be spiderman.

Personally, I find it depressing as hell but what can you do? helps.

35% of the remaining boys will be Iron Man or Batman - except on Pirate Day. On pirate day 95% of the girls will be pirate princesses.

But why does it matter? It is a phase.

I remember being desperate to be an angel in the nativity play because I wanted a long white dress and tinsel, rather than a dressing gown and tea towel. It all seems fairly normal to me.

"But why does it matter? It is a phase."

I thought this was about availability of classroom equipment (ie having a good range of dress up constumes). There's a difference between children always choosing the same thing from the range of classroom items, and only having one kind of item provided.

Encouraging donations of more and different stuff would be a good way to give the pupils greater choice.

I would also have killed for a princess dress! I was permitted a Jasmine costume, which I didn't feel counted because it was trousers and a crop top, no matter that it was silky and had jewels on it.
When I wasn't playing dress up you had to force me into dresses, I wouldn't touch a pink pencil, never mind anything pink and sparkly and girly. In fact you'd be much more likely to find me in muddy jeans half way up a tree, either having an adventure or reading the Famous Five.
20 years later and I've suddenly discovered long hippy skirts (with pockets!) and leggings. Though you are still likely to find me half way up a tree reading a good book in them.

I wouldn't over think it OP, maybe consider donating some smaller dress up items like binoculars, police helmet, plastic doctor's kit etc etc. Things that don't need a full set of clothes and can be paired with the pretty dresses or waistcoats. But please be aware that no matter how wide the range of options there will always be one or two items that everyone wants! This year everyone might want the Belle dress, next years class might all want the police hat, that's how it goes.