So long St. Mediocre

[PastSellByDate]

Well it is an end of an era.

I joined MN in 2010 because we'd had about 6 months of trying to get help from the school with our struggling DD1 (May Y2 - slow reader/ barely able to add to 20/ unable to subtract) and the school had pretty much repeatedly told DH & I our expectations were too high - topping it off with the dreadful HT stating:

'What you need to understand Mrs. PSBD, is your DD1 just isn't that bright'.

------

Do I have issues? Oh boy do I ever!

Have I lost faith in state education - totally!

Low brow

Uninspired

Chaotic

doesn't sum it up.

----------

But here on MN - I have found help. Many teachers & parents have made brilliant suggestions - leading to great websites/ resources/ ideas which have really helped.

DD1 finished Y2 KS1 SATs at NC L1 across the board. She finished Y6 KS2 SATs at NC L5/6. That would never have happened without Mumsnet members answering my questions/ giving their advice to help me help my DD1.

My advice to any who feel in their gut that something is amiss/ the school just isn't doing enough - stick to your guns.

Battling a school isn't easy - and I wouldn't advise it. But know that you can do more at home. The internet hosts a wealth of resources that can really make a difference and MN is brilliant as a place to come and moan/ rant/ scream HELP!!!!!!!!!!! On MN you can vent your anger (which is useful) - and get some positive help.

I know I've had my tiffs with some on PRIMARY TALK over the years - but part of that is that we parents only experience the education system in our small little corners of the UK. What happens in NI/ Wales/ Scotland or England - or even within cities - can be night and day to each other.

I think as parents we need to push for more consistency.

Just as we would expect a medical professional to handle notification of cancer with seriousness and compassion - and would understandably expect information to help us digest the diagnosis and explain our next options...

We need teachers to move toward that kind of professionalism - to be able to tell a parent/ agree with a parent that their child is struggling and provide useful guidance on what to do next.

Leaving a parent to it - is in no way 'professional'.

I take the point that not all parents will take so much interest - but I suspect more parents care about their child's education than teaching professionals give us credit for - and most parents - if wisely directed to useful resources/ methods/ techniques - will follow that guidance and can be a real asset to teachers - putting in those extra hours at home - and may just turn a struggling pupil into a successful one!

Thanks & happy summer everybody!

PSBD

[diamondage]

As someone who read the reports you will know the words are quotes and not my opinion diamondage

Why use quotes which you know misrepresent the whole picture unless they match with your own opinion? If the quotes do not match your own opinion then this is just a game in which you are playing devils advocate, for, dare I say it 'shits and giggles'.

After all you added the quotes in response to a posters with a very biased view of private education - they were in opposition to that posters views. I'm all for adding balance to a discussion, but if you are going utilise science then at least do it in the spirit too, by being honest about its limitations.

I'm a Ben Goldacre fan and it really bugs me the way the media love to turn research into sensational sound bites... So what Bonsoir said really.

[JaneParker]

I think we can all agree that plenty of mothers who earn enough to pay school fees are content with private schools and plenty of mothers whether they can afford fees or not love their state schools so there is no problem. Variety is the spice of life.

[Toomanyhouseguests]

Don't forget plenty of SAHMs whose DHs earn enough to pay the school fees, JanePaker

[Kimaroo]

Oooh that was cruel! You know Jane has to get out the smelling salts when anyone mentions the existence of non-career women let alone one who doesn't even have a job.

[mrz]

"Why use quotes which you know misrepresent the whole picture unless they match with your own opinion?"

To promote discussion? diamondage

[cingolimama]

PastSell, FWIW I think you are a hero. Congratulations to your DD and to you for the fantastic achievements. You have fought the good fight.

I want to thank you, profusely, for posting about your experience (mine has been almost identical, down to in Y2 "your DD isn't the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree" and "oh, maths aren't DD's strongest subject, now are they? cue teacher giggle right in front of DD). Well, now at the end of Y4 DD has gone from the bottom of the bottom to the top of the class in maths.

Thanks for putting me on to Ms Vorderman and mathsfactor, who I think should immediately be made Dame Carol for services to education. Why isn't there an equivalent programme for spelling/grammar/vocabulary? If you have any suggestions in that department I'm all ears.

You have given me hope (and your latest thread essay REALLY gives me hope). And you have made me determined to make up for the barely adequate education my daughter's currently receiving. It seems to be working and I'm very grateful to you.

Have an absolutely splendid summer!

[PastSellByDate]

cingolimama: absolutely agree on the Dame Carol idea!

------
Acid et al.: Can only apologise about poor analogy - again plucked from air and from my own experiences where medical staff have universally been extremely helpful/ professional. Acid I can only say again I am truly sorry about your situation and completely understand your anger.
----------

For those that think I'm talking about learning disabilities - I'm not.

I'm talking about parents (myself included) coming in and asking for help with early reading/ adding beyond 20 (especially with carrying)/ help with getting subtraction/ multiplication/ division/ fractions/ etc.....

We have all individually been told

'We're following the national curriculum'

'You have to let your child develop at their own speed'

'As a school we do not recommend workbooks/ websites'

You kind of go with it in Year R and Year 1 - after all they're so small (and for me we didn't start grade school until year we turned 7). But by Year 2 - when your child still isn't reading/ adding/ subtracting?

Effectively the school leaves us to it - and most parents resort to other options (english/ maths support at Sunday Korean/ Chinese language schools, tutors, workbooks, websites, etc....). I also think becuase of the Birmingham situation with state funded grammar schools - they can rely of 1/4 or 1/3 of pupils going for the 11+.

I get that a child doesn't die of not being able to divide. But their opportuniteis in life probably do. And this attitude that they can learn it later - although not unfair - is often unrealistic as the older they get the more likely teenage 'attitudes' will simply turn them off school, which basically gives work that is a struggle.

-----------

I'm truly glad for those of you who feel that your school was brilliant/ teaching staff couldn't have been more helpful - and grateful to those who in this situation have passed on useful advice/ ideas.

I'm truly grateful for teachers who've come on and given help and encouragement. Often sharing links to resources I just simply never would have come across.

At core I just wanted to say thank you for that.

[pointythings]

PSBD I completely understand the disillusionment caused by St Mediocre - it sounds like an awful, awful school, one that should be slammed by OFSTED, shut down and completely taken over.

I just hope that your DD2's experience in her school, if it is a state school, will go some way towards restoring your faith.

I also hope that you will stay on this forum, you are so hugely knowledgeable and helpful to other people with serious questions. I've learned a lot from you, and now that both my DDs will be at secondary I will miss this forum.

[Retropear]

Pointy sadly many of the things experienced by the op we have too in our initially Outstanding,then Satisfactory now Good school(all whilst my dc have been there). Some schools(not all) in the state and private sector just do the bare minimum and coast along because due to intake they can.They only get pulled up when the bar gets raised.

I don't think schools like these need closing down just less arrogance,more info for parents,more consistency and more pushing for all kids(not just those that count on data spreadsheets).

Op I have to say a big thank you. I think you have done a lot for a lot of parents.I am a former teacher but you still managed to keep me informed,kept me sane at times of frustration and given me motivation re ensuring 2 of my dc didn't just sink.You probably didn't even realise it.

PSBD has made me think how much parents need somebody like this both in RL and online to inform,support and advise as a separate entity to school particularly when there are frustrations and disagreements. Knowledge is key as regards children succeeding imvho and the education sections on MN are invaluable.

PSBD I hope you still lurk on primary and advise if not I look forward to seeing your posts on secondary.

[Retropear]

from me too!

[pointythings]

Retro in a sense I have been lucky - my DDs' schools all started life as 'Satisfactory' and they then worked like all hell to do better. My DDs have benefited.

DD1's secondary was borderline special measures when she was born, had it stayed the way it was, I would have sent her elsewhere or home edded. But they got in an amazing head and turned it round, it's now good. They have a difficult intake, very mixed - some affluent and MC, some very deprived. I think it keeps them on your toes.

When I say 'closing down' I mean changing leadership - because when this sort of thing happens, it's ultimately down to those in charge of running the school. That's what happened in DD1's school and is still happening now that they are building from a strong foundation.

[Toomanyhouseguests]

You said it very well, retropear. I too have children at a lovely CofE school. It has many strengths, but there is a definite complacency. I've found PSBDs insights very helpful.


PSBD, may I ask, is your DD1 going to a grammar school?