Switching schools due to social limitations

[LostinSuburbia]

I am seriously considering switching dd's school because she is in a small class (11) and seems to have been sidelined by the other children and play date arrangements after school. I can well see her, if she were to stay at the school becoming the obvious outsider year in year out and I feel troubled by this environment especially as she is so young (4.5). Furthermore, if she were to stay at the school next year she will become the only British origin pupil and I feel this is partly influencing this social situation. I am happy with the school itself and it recently got an outstanding report but this social setback DD's experiencing is realy begining to upset DD and she is drawring pictures of sad faces in the playground and expressed yesterday that she has no friends. I always feel that a happy child is one that thrives and learns. BTW she is an only child so the friendships formed at school and subsequent play dates are especially important. So far she is confident friendly and the teachers say she is well behaved and has decent social skills.

She has been offered a place at another school. However, switching schools is a big deal and there may well be other issues with this new option.
Your advice is very much appreciated. Would you switch your child's school at the early years stage if the social environment was negative from the start despite the school itself being of high quality?

School is also about socialising and having fun, particularly at primary level, so if you think that she is missing out on that aspect of school then it's the right decision - I think we all get so hung up on the academic side of things that sometimes the 'life skills' part of education gets left behind. I'm sure the move will be fine.

Good Luck I hope it goes well. I was really glad I posted on here and everyone said move and I did move DS.

Panic mode I do agree with you that a big part of primary school is socialising and friendships and as you put it 'life skills' which is why I have sorted out another school option. Husband thinks that we should see how it goes for another year at the current school as we are not totally sold on the new school option. He presumes that the other school which is private will take her a year later and he may be correct. Not sure until we ask. Her school is moderately academic and the new option is less so. She happens to be very able and is ahead of her current class. So although I agree with your points it might mean that if we switched we could find that she is bored in class and not stimulated enough. I am not sure which option to take and worry that I may make a wrong choice and then DD and I would have to live with the consequences. Your opinions are most appreciated....

That's a toughie - in that case I think you need to ensure that the private option is going to keep her challenged (just because it's private, doesn't automatically mean better!) as well as providing a better social mix. Can you talk to the head/class teacher about how they manage the more able children? Before we decided whether or not to move DS (again) we 'interviewed' the private and state heads and talked to them about how they will motivate and manage DS who, like your DD, is ahead of his peers. We have decided not to take up the scholarship because there are logistical and pastoral issues with having 1 in private and 3 in state, and because his current head assured us that with him being on the G&T register, each lesson plan will have extension work planned into it for the able children. It also took him some time to settle when we moved him after Reception because he's quite sensitive and finds it hard to make friends easily.

We took advice from loads of people about moving DS again - and the view unanimously was that a bright child from a supportive family that encourages learning and supports their work at school will do well - so if it is the social aspect that is the most concerning, then I would probably move her - you can always do additional stuff with her at home if you feel she's not being challenged enough.

PanicMode, thank you for advising me. A friend of mine also echoed your point. There is always extra support that can be offered if a child needs more of a stretch. Friendships however, cannot be so easily remedied. The social aspect cannot be so easily improved.

The new school option has a very large catchment area . I think that some families travel 10 miles from varying directions and therefore there may be a natural limit placed on friendships developing when after school arrangements are seldom made because two familes live 15-20 miles apart from each other. So, it may not offer the social experience for her that I am hoping for....

I moved my DS for the same reason. By the end of reception he was the only white kid in his class and 1 of only 2 British origin kids. Most of the others were of Pakistani descent and the parents spoke no/poor English. DS didn't have a single play date all year and 90% of the kids didn't turn up to his birthday party (or even respond to the invitation).

We moved him in Sept and the difference is unbelievable! It's gone from one extreme to the other and we have birthday parties most weekends.

Yes, move her. But try to find out from the school and other parents whether it will be what you want first.