Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


Starting secondary, what do they need to know?

33 replies

ElvenDreamer · 13/03/2022 06:51

Just that really, my kids are pretty naive rural kids, bookish, fairly niche hobbies, not really into popular culture, don't like football. I'm terrified they will be eaten alive at the big secondaries. What lessons do I need to be drip feeding them without actually terrifying them so they are prepared. Any good book recommendations? I know I want them to be really prepared around issues of consent etc (not something I've avoided btw, just want to do more and any thoughts on that welcome) but what else too? Or am I just worrying myself unnecessarily? I personally had a pretty torrid time and there is stuff I wish I'd known, but schools have changed again since my day obviously, the addition of phones scares me in particular. DC 1 is yr 6 so this is imminent. (I have kids of both sexes if this is relevant to advice.)

OP posts:

ElvenDreamer · 13/03/2022 10:52

@OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea that's good to hear, really encouraging. The remaining true to yourself and finding your tribe thing is something we have talked about so good to know it does work.

Thank you so much to everyone who has posted. By and large I'm realising I worry too much, but there's also some reassuring practical advice on here too to take away some of the stress!

OP posts:

MargosKaftan · 13/03/2022 12:56

Oh the lunches - worth noting that lunch time clubs don't always give enough time to buy a lunch from the canteen and provide a packed lunch on days they are doing one. Add something like a granola bar to bags in case kids used to being called in to go get lunch just are busy playing and run out of time to get lunch. If they are buying lunch each day, a good discussion around what budget they have daily and making decent choices - noone makes them pick vegetables at secondary and usually there are things like cakes / muffins for sale at break.


TeenPlusCat · 23/04/2022 15:10

Don't gossip about others - it will get back to them.
If in doubt be non committal.


bjjgirl · 06/05/2022 15:51

Get a wall planner for their room as organisation is key

How to tie their tie

Sanitary products/ what to do if they come on

Personal hygiene / shower / shave / deodorant

Nice underwear for pe changing

How to use their phone

How to tell the teacher they are I'll

Routes to and from school

Share location

Photos and videos once shared can not be retrieved

Social media lasts forever

How to eat healthy and choose the right food


MerryMarigold · 06/05/2022 15:59

It is hard. I let mine have WhatsApp but no other social media. I explained why and they are fine with it. They have ok smartphones but nothing amazing (no iphones). I think if they've been ok thus far in terms of finding friends and fitting in then they'll be ok.

I would just explain (only if it comes up at the time, not in advance) that it's normal to feel a bit lost: moving classrooms and lots of teachers is different and difficult but everyone is in the same boat.


Comedycook · 06/05/2022 16:02

My ds learnt early on to never sit at the back of the bus apparently! Tough kids only at the back 😂


LouisRenault · 06/05/2022 16:19

organisation is a big worry to be sure

Bus pass, keys, purse etc have designated pocket in school bag and go straight back in there as soon as dc is indoors. Everything ready the night before. Clothes ready on chair, lunch made and put in fridge if taking packed lunch, bag packed and put in corner with pe kit or whatever is needed, coat, shoes etc.

Saves a lot of hassle in the mornings, and it's a good habit to get into for life, not just for school.


ElvenDreamer · 07/05/2022 18:46

Just noticed new posts have arrived in here, all great thoughts, thanks everyone. DD who will be 1st to go is very very disorganised so she will definitely have to learn fast!

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

We're all short on time

Log in or sign up to use the 'See Next' or 'See all' posts by the OP (Original Poster) and cut straight to the action.

Already signed up?

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?