At what age would you leave children at home?

[Andacherryonthetop]

I have a 9 year old and 6 year old so I know not yet. My issue is I want to exercise more and go running which is difficult with mine and OH work patterns. I was wondering at what age you would leave 2 children with a 3 year age gap to go for a half hour run at 6am when they’re asleep. I was thinking maybe when they’re 12 and 9? I currently leave the 9year old if I nip to the shop for 15 min so I’m thinking when the little one is 9 and her big brother is 12, this might be ok?

I think it’s easier to leave one alone than two as there is always the chance they’ll fight . Actual ages - very dependent on the child - my older one is much more sensible than my younger one - always has been so would have left him about 2 years earlier .

@Washermother33

I think it’s easier to leave one alone than two as there is always the chance they’ll fight . Actual ages - very dependent on the child - my older one is much more sensible than my younger one - always has been so would have left him about 2 years earlier .

I disagree, much more scope for being scared, unable to face a crisis

For very short periods from 8 if so eg post a letter 200m away or pick up a prescription from the pharmacy around the corner no roads to cross. For longer from 10 eg nipping to Tesco express and properly from 12 & 10. 10 year old is super reliable and sensible

We leave my 12 and 10 year olds for a good 2-3 hours in the day. They get on well and will just sit and watch TV. We went for an early meal the other night out at 6 back about 8.30 and they were absolutely fine. My 12 yr old dd is very sensible and trustworthy.

When awake - 12. When asleep - 15.

I wouldn't leave 12 & 9 because 12 is not old enough to deal with a misbehaving 9yo. So about 15 & 12 because you have to know the youngest is not a dickhead (sorry).

Build it up I was left from age 10 for 10-15minutes. By 11 they aren't expected to go to childcare and are expected to get themselves home from school

Mine are 13 and 6. I'm happy to leave my 13 year old on his own but won't leave them alone together until she is atleast 10 (and he will be 17). They fight constantly at the moment

I agree with @vickyc90 : build it up slowly. 5/10 mins pop to local shop from 10/11. Now at 12 he's happier to stay for an hour while I do a proper shop but I'm only 5 minutes away. He has a phone though so can stay in contact.

DD was 10 when we started leaving her to go to Tesco etc, she's about to turn 12 now and we've never had a problem.

By age 11 we were walking ourselves to and from school, and then had time home alone until parents finished work.

I tend to work backwards on these things… so when DS is 11 he’ll have a 25 minute walk to school alone. In preparation at 10 he’ll have a 10 minute walk to primary alone. In preparation for that at 8 and 9 he can play out in our street for 20 minutes (where I can see him from the end of the drive), walk 5 minutes each way to the shop, spend 40 minutes at home alone with a phone and instructions not to answer the door/ make toast.
Your 6 yo falls somewhere outside this, but in a couple of years could be trusted to stay home with his brother assuming they’re sensible and not likely to fight.

I have a 12 year old DS who I am happy to leave pretty much all day - he is really sensible, good at checking in and always answers phone, updates on where he's going and also has Apple find iPhone enabled for emergency's. In the holidays he will go to goals to play football for 5/6 hours at a time, walk himself back, manages himself at school all day and takes himself there and back. I wouldn't be comfortable him waking up alone or going to bed alone though or doing mealtimes - I normally give him money for lunch if he's going out or would pop back to give him lunch or leave him something.

I'll leave my 10 year old with him for around 2/3 hours tops and only if I'm going somewhere close by. Normally popping into town to the shops/ foodshop etc. wouldn't leave my 10 year old longer than an hour alone if I am again local and could get back within 15 mins. He also has a phone and could contact me etc.

I also have an 8 year old I would leave for 20 mins with the boys if say I was going to the local tescos 5 mins away to grab something although would never leave her alone. She also has an iPad so she could contact and knows how to if needs be.

I am a single mum so I have had to do this a bit earlier than I probably would have otherwise, covid when you couldn't take the children into the shop, or I thought it was safer to leave them for 10 mins than to take them out the house. I also have neighbours both sides who the kids know they could go to - they have my phone number, their dad lives literally round the corner, my other family members also in the same town only 5 min drive away. I also have a dog which makes me a bit safer leaving them. (Although she's locked in kitchen when I'm out) but think people less likely to intrude.

I've never had a problem they are generally watching tv or on PlayStations anyway and are exactly where I leave them 😂

I'll probably get flamed for this now but I am comfortable and the kids are comfortable and if ever we weren't then we would change it.

My kids are 10 and 11 and I leave them for about 15mins to go shops but leave door unlocked. Does everyone else lock there kids in( key the other side incase of fire) or just leave door unlocked. We live in pretty safe area.

I leave back door locked with key in and front door can't be opened from the outside.

I left one child for an hour at 8. So I'd leave two at 8 and 11, though not with the elder 'in charge', only if I would be comfortable also leaving the younger alone. Not if they couldn't be trusted together, or when they were still asleep.

My husband and I work full time. We don’t plan on arranging childcare for a year 7 so she’ll be 12 (she’s a September child) and she’ll be left from coming home from school until I get in at 17.10.

Oldest one from 9, younger one from 7/almost 8 with 11 sibling.

I think I started leaving mine to, say, pop to the shops for 10 minutes when aged about 10 and 7 (13.5 and 10.5 now). We started letting both kids pop to shops very close by from age of about 8.5.

TBH, COVID probably pushed things forward a bit, and in order to have some time to ourselves, we started leaving them in the house during he day for an hour or two so we could go for a walk/make a run to Costco etc when oldest was nearly 12 and youngest 9.

We've started leaving them some evenings if we are not going to be very late/far away.

I wouldn't leave an under 9 at all no matter how sensible they were. 9 year old I will leave for 10 minutes while I pop out for milk or to drop other DC. Just turned 12 year old I started leaving on her own at age 11 for an hour or so. She has been letting herself into the house by herself since starting Year 7 and is home for an hour/hour and a half most days as DH and I work outside the home so there isn't really any alternative.

I wouldn't leave the two of mine (9 and 12) together at the moment as they just fight!

Mine are year 8 and year 5, nearly 13 and 10.5.

I leave them together for 2.5 hours till 1945 one day a week and for 1.5 hours till 1800.

That's fine for us.

Still don't feel ready to leave them alone later at night though eg if DH and I go out.

Kids would be alright, but you'd have to worry if they say something at school or if you have a nosy neighbour.
Maybe in next 2 years?

At 11 and secondary school, my DC get themselves up, breakfasted, dressed, packed for school and out the door, lock up the house and get to school 2 miles away for the start of registration. I leave for work before they get up, so there’s literally zero choice. We build up to it with each DC of course. And the younger have an advantage that they have the older to fall back on but that can’t be relied upon, we are very clear that they are not babysitting or responsible just because of age, that each child is responsible for themselves.

I’d say I’d be very happy to leave a child of 8,9,10, building up to their independence. First playing out of course, then being left at home for a bit and then walking to school, breakfast club by themselves etc. Depends on the child and what they are happy with but I’d be thinking it was imminently doable at your DCs ages with a bit of build up.

Both of mine were left at home or came home from school alone from Year 6 (I worked), they would spend short periods of time at home alone whilst I took the other to a club etc from Year 5 so around 9.5

Mine was 8 and a half, started leaving for 10 mins and then extended it gradually, he's nearly 10 now and I'd go out for probably up to 45 minutes if necessary. He can call me from the Alexa though, I think he needs to be able to contact me if he wants me to come home. I wouldn't want to leave one babysitting though, if I had more than one child and wasn't confident that both could be okay by themselves then I would take the one with me who needed care, I wouldn't want an under 14 to have responsibility for another child.