Worried about 11 dd weight

[lolbrador]

Hello

I've noticed quite a high weight gain in my eldest dd over last few months. She's very active, doing 6 classes a week and one team sports training session. Her diet is pretty balanced and healthy, normal day is porridge, apple and popcorn for snack, fruit, veg and wrap for lunch and then family tea. Often with a bit of fruit after school. I don't ever limit the fruit bowl.

I've read online that pre puberty can often lead to weight gain, however some articles contradict this. And I feel it's a complete minefield to discuss body shape and type without making her conscious of it, which she isn't at the moment. I just real all of the things about overweight children and I spiral.

Should I discuss it with her? Or do I just leave it as a normal part of puberty/growing up. I should add, she's relatively short for her age which probably makes it look worse.

Thank you

Just leave it.

They fill out a lot at this age anyway. Bigger bum, boobs and hips. They can change completely in 6 months. Same as a teen DS suddenly shooting up and deeper voice etc.

My ds starting gaining weight when he was 10, after lock down he'd gained 1.5 stone and was miserable. He couldn't run or exercise like before and was heavy round the tummy.

We incorporated a healthy programme whereby he does some movement every day - even just stretching, walk round the block etc. Wet talk about healthy diet etc and not eating after a certain time of night etc.

We made changes such as red milk, measuring his cereal and only buying bran flakes, porridge and weetabix. Changed to lower calorie bread etc. Crisps were his nemesis and he admitted that he would sneak about 5 bags at a time and eat them in bed. So we stopped buying them. It was purely lockdown and hormones etc.

He's not lost the weight he gained although it's taken about a year and he's obviously grown taller etc.

He leads the conversations on weight and knows not to diet but to eat healthier and move more.

Don't say anything directly but lots of fruit is lots of sugar? Not great for the teeth either?

It is very, very normal for girls to gain some weight when they start puberty. My DD had always been skinny and then put some weight on around age 10-11. Then suddenly she shot up in height and was back to being thin again. She’s now 15 and we’ve just come out of lockdown (in Australia) and with very little exercise and some comfort food she has put on a bit of weight but I only ever speak about regaining fitness, not losing weight. She was telling me about her friend who just quit ballet because the teacher kept body shaming her and we agreed that her dance studio has a much better attitude as there are dancers of all sizes and shapes who just love to dance.

Re the fruit, I had gestational diabetes and can assure you raspberries and strawberries have basically no sugar, they were considered a ‘free’ food for me and I could have as much as I wanted. So she’s having three serves a day and that is fine. The only time I’ve limited fruit was when the dentist asked DS to cut back from three oranges a day to two, because of the acid, not the sugar.

OP, if your DD does gym and dance, she knows she's gained weight. Children as young as 5/6 have shown extensive evidence of being already influenced by diet culture; there's no way that your daughter isn't aware of her body shape and size. She's already in high-risk, individual performance-focused sports, so you are absolutely right to heed the advice here and not comment on her weight.

Please don't say anything, I'm in my 60s and still carry the scars of my mother's remarks about my body. You need to boost her self esteem not make her feel uncomfortable & self conscious. Any remark, no matter how diplomatically put, will affect her badly and could lead to a poor relationship with food for life.

DD is 11, put on a lot of weight, as in rolls of fat around her tummy and face, about 18 months ago, had a huge growth spurt last year, started her periods six months ago and her shape seemed to change overnight, beautiful and slim.
DD & DS before her were exactly the same just before they hit puberty, please don't worry and don't say a word!

My 11 year old has lost a lot of weight and recently been diagnosed with Crohn's. Her puberty stopped; breast buds disappeared and she stopped growing. They need to build a little ballast to begin shooting up. My dd is on 2100 calories a day minimum of special shakes to try to enable her body to gain some weight before she ends up permanently smaller than she should be.

I put my daughter on a diet when she turned 5 as she was getting a bit of a pot.

Exactly as others have said. It's great that your dd is so active - certainly, lock down hasn't had a great effect overall on children's fitness levels so she (and you) are doing really well in that regard.

Lots of my dd's friends 'filled out' very quickly in Y6/Y7 then shot up.