Playdates - Yr 7/8

[Spoldge45]

Evening Ladies,

Just wondered if anyone has any playdate ideas for 12yr old girls? I realise they are much too old to play with toys etc..but what exactly can they do for 3/4 hours?

I'm happy for them to play on the PS4 for a hour or 2, but I'd feel a bit bad if they were doing this for the whole duration?

I brought some proper art shop clay recently, I thought that might go down well...but they don't seam interested? Occasionally I've done baking although this usually just ends up in a very messy kitchen!!

I'm just wondering what others do in this situation? Should I just leave them to it & accept they will be on screens for 4hrs, or does anyone have any better ideas!! Thanks

My dd is 11 coming 12 Y7 in September and hasn’t started going to Costa / cinema on own yet and the park in walking distance is nice but does get a lot of older teens in it as it has a skate park so my dd and friends feel a bit intimidated still.
when she has friends here they usually like making cakes and can follow recipes without my help / they will often paint together/ TikTok dances / do each other’s makeup. Maybe watch a film.
Maybe before she has a friends over let her know what is available for her to do if she wants and let her get on with it.

DS12 and his friends literally go on playstation, you tube, netflix etc if in house.

Other then being a taxi I don't see a lot of them... I arrange things such as

Trampoline Park
Go Karting
Climbing Walls
Cinema
Pizza Hut
Quad Biking
Swimming

But literally all they want/need is a lift and money for snacks/drinks...

@BakewellGin1

DS12 and his friends literally go on playstation, you tube, netflix etc if in house.

Other then being a taxi I don't see a lot of them... I arrange things such as

Trampoline Park
Go Karting
Climbing Walls
Cinema
Pizza Hut
Quad Biking
Swimming

But literally all they want/need is a lift and money for snacks/drinks...

Thanks for the suggestions, really appreciated. Gosh its depressing tho. I kind of feel like I cant leave the house in case they need food/a life etc. Can't really get on with work or housework, its a bit like being in limbo. I just did some dusting when DD had a friend round last week as I couldn't really doing anything more meaningful. At least when she was younger if I wasn't working I could sit in the park & chat to other mums... I guess I'll get used to it & thankfully its only really in the holidays she has friends around!!

Why can't you do housework because there is one extra person in the home? Or say 'do you need anything as I'm popping to the shops in a second?' You're really over thinking this. Just go about your day

I agree with pp, just get on with your day.
they are not your friends coming to see you so go on about your day.
if they need something they can let you know and also can wait until you finish whatever you are doing or just sort it themselves.

they are 12. no need to hover

Honestly you can get on with whatever you would be doing if the friend wasn't there. So housework, popping to shops, feet up with a cuppa watching daytime telly, whatever.

Definitely don’t call them playdates and do get on with what you’d normally do - ok at that age to feel you want to be in the house with them but definitely don’t hang around in same room - your DD is capable of finding you if needed.

At that age my DD wasn’t generally into just mooching around town so if friends came over they would chat, bake, go on trampoline, play a board game, make jewellery, make silly videos on their phones, do Just Dance. DS would prefer to just play on PS4 but whilst I was more generous with screen time if he had a friend over I did make it clear they couldn’t be on it all the time so they would go in garden to play football or basketball or on trampoline.

Now she is 16, DD does meet friends to go to shops or to a cafe or just chat in park but as her friends mostly aren’t very local that still often means parents dropping off etc.

I kind of feel like I cant leave the house in case they need food/a life etc. Can't really get on with work or housework, its a bit like being in limbo.

I think the main issue is that you haven't adjusted to your DD being 12.
She doesn't need to have you organise activities for you when she hangs out with her friend (please tell me you don't call them playdates to her ...?)
She can get her own food.
If she needs a lift somewhere she can tell you in advance, wait till you get back or walk/cycle/get the bus.
And presence of a pre-teen should not stop you getting on with whatever you would normally do.
Your DD will probably appreciate it if you don't hover :)

You can get on with your stuff, I promise! If they want food, you can also let them make it as an ‘activity’ - mine love making milkshakes/smoothies, making a picnic type lunch to disappear off with etc. It’s the ideal age for getting stuff done in the house - declutter your dining room or whatever, they don’t need your company or attention

My year six (going into yr 7) child entertains her friends herself now really. They might go to the park or hang out in our garden (on the swings / climbing the tree). If I'm going to the shops I'll offer for them to come and they'll go off round the shops on their own for an hour or so (we live rurally so they couldn't get there on their own from ours but they do wander into town from a friend's house).
They read magazines in DDs bedroom or play on the games console / watch a movie (in the living room - no screens in bedrooms). I might help them get stuff together to make popcorn / pizza / cakes. They do each other's hair or nails, play with the pets, play a board game.
Occasionally I'll take them swimming or to the cinema.

Hm. Mine is 12. I don't get involved when her friends come around! I don't think it would be welcome.

When my daughter (going into year 8) has her friends around I do provide pizza and pop or whatever at lunchtime, I do ask them to tell me if they are going out and to take phones with them, if I needed to leave the house for any length of time I would check with the other parents that this was OK with them.

Other than that leave them to it and get on with your day!