How far would your 12 yo go alone?

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Over the Easter holidays I asked my DS (12) if he wanted to come and meet me at work on my early finish day so we could do an activity he really wanted to do. I work 20 minutes from home - he would have only needed to go to the end of our road (same as his school journey) but turned at the end and walked down another 15 minutes.

It's a very straight forward journey- one road down alongside a main road with super wide pavement. He said it was too far on his own! I am now worried that he is lacking any independence. He will walk for longer with me or his dad (they walk for fun/exercise so its not laziness) and it got me wondering how unusual this is. Would your pre-teen have walked this by themselves?

Finfintytint yes and all credit for that at 12 - but "going to France by himself" sounds as though he's off solo interrailing around France for the summer with a backpack and a copy of the Lonley Planet It sounds like overegging the pudding if negotiating the airport having been waved off at passport control, and being picked up at the arrival gate the other end.

Perhaps it doesn't sound like that to anyone else, if so then please ignore me

DS1 has been getting himself all around zones 1 & 2 in London since before he was 12, mostly only a couple of stops and a short walk to school but also to friends' houses in other areas or into central London to get lunch with his friends/meet us. He can use Citymapper pretty proficiently for unfamiliar areas or routes.

When my dc were 12 they were travelling about 45 mins to school on 2 buses going through the middle of Glasgow. At 12 dd2 was getting the train to visit auntie and grandparents up to an hour away. A 15 minute walk to the shops was no problem at all.

In year 7 mine were capable of getting on a bus for a 30 min journey to town.

By year 8 they were going to another town (closer but not a direct bus route) to meet up with friends etc.

By year 9 dd was travelling to another city 45 miles away on the train.

My DD 13 is often nervous about unfamiliar routes. She walks 20 minutes to school no problem, but I think it’s the fear of getting lost makes her a bit unadventurous.
We are trying to encourage more independence too - she has Citymapper on her phone, so when we go out together we encourage her to work out the route rather than us just telling her. She’ll meet friends locally but hasn’t ventured further afield. I think she just is a bit away with the fairies a lot of the time so doesn’t pay enough attention to where she is going. I do despair sometimes! But she is so lovely in every other way I don’t want to come down too harshly on her so just keep encouraging.....

Ha ha .....archivearmadillo! Not very night bus to Cairo I admit.

She'll bike to school if she misses the bus. It's just over a mile.

When my 15 year old was 12 and my daughter 10 they flew alone from Rio de Janeiro to London and back. They don't have to do anything if they fly, they are taken through passport etc with the air crew.

Mine were travelling from Zone 6 to Zone 1 and all over London at 11.

12 year old regularly walks 15-20 minutes into town alone, and has walked one hour away on occasion. He has walked into town, then done a 30 minute train journey to meet a friend, and the same on his return.

He has also hiked in a group of Scouts without leaders for a 4-5 hour journey.

In terms of the mugging - I think one of my neighbours put the fear of god saying that her two older boys had got mugged nearby. Its a bit rough and ready round here but I have lived here almost 20 years and never seen any trouble. I like the city mapper idea - when we go on the tube or train we always look at the map together so city mapper could be an extension of that.

From the age of 10 my sisters and I would ride our bikes all over the city for hours, just exploring. About half the time we would get lost and find a payphone to call home and get mum to find us and drive us home.

DD’s school journey is 20-30 minutes, depending if she takes a bus or not.

She goes alone from school to her drama class, 15 minutes walk, straight road from school, when DH is away on business as I work on that day.

She will soon learn to take 2 busses and walk for 10 minutes to go to swimming, again if DH works away.

She will be 12 in July.

In my opinion absolute doable, of in doubt ask why exactly he feels uncomfortable.

Well, if it’s a ‘bit rough’ and the neighbour’s older boys have been mugged then I can’t blame him for not being keen. Boys his age are quite vulnerable in some areas.

I’d probably just send a taxi for him if you don’t have a car. If you have a car I’d just nip home for him.

Well, my ds1 walks to school, which is about a 20 minute walk away, although he does meet up with friends. He walks into town to meet friends and has done since year 6. He also cycles to his football club which is the other end of town.
It does sound like your ds is a little hesitant - what are his reasons for thinking it is too far?

God don't send a taxi because he is scared of being mugged. Kids need to learn resilience and independence.