Single dad 12 year old period

[Harryy]

I think my 12 year old came in her period sorting the washing out this morning there was some underwear screwed up in the washing machine with a little bit off blood on. She also woke up this morning saying she's doesn't feel well and can't go to school.

How do i deal with this? Trying to talk to her isn't easy she gets so moody and just screams, shouts chucks things at me.

You should like you're doing a great job op.
She must be missing her mum now especially if it's been a short time. Get her a hot water bottle, maybe some chocolate of she likes it and some painkillers.
It's a confusing time I can remember being proud I wasn't a kid anymore but also revolted by the fact I was now able to conceive.

Grr keeping doing typos tonight

• you sound not should

What is she worried about specifically? Dark underwear and lillets teens pads might be a good starting point. Can she take paracetamol or nurofen? Hotwater bottle or wheatpad, or you can buy stick on gel pads from Wilkos specifically for period pain. Funnily gentle exercise like ballet or walks can help. Reassure her that all girls will go through similar and it is normal to feel self conscious.

You sound like a wonderful dad, OP. I would agree with others about buying a range of products, there are loads of types, or giving her the money to choose her own, maybe with help from a female relative. With regards to her saying you don't understand, I would suggest agreeing with her to some extent, acknowledge that you're a man and therefore this is something you wouldn't normally be dealing with as most girls speak to their mums, but you will (and are!) Doing your best. Give her the option, she can either come to you with questions, and you can find out the answer together, by calling a female relative or going to a clinic or gp, or you can get her the number of a female relative and she can text or call them (or borrow your phone at any time to text them if she doesn't have her own as long as she lets you know who she is ringing) and you will stay out of it. Let her know that it's her body and she can deal with it how she likes, but that you are prepared to help her however she needs. Maybe even offer her the option of writing you a note if speaking about this face to face is too awkward? I know I find texting much easier when I need to say something potentially embarrassing. That way she can write what her problem is and how you can help without upsetting her (for example, I may have said Dad, I need more pads, always brand slim, please leave them on my bed and don't mention it in front of sibling or hand them to me in front of the delivery guy). Not saying you would do this, but it may help to keep communication open at a time she is probably a bit embarrassed and afraid without really understanding why.

goodmenproject.com/families/dads-daughters-and-menstruation-how-to-survive-your-daughters-first-period-h2l/

www.esquire.com/lifestyle/health/how-to/a45814/father-and-daughter-talks/

Mattress protector if there isn't one one the bed.
Likes teen starter pack from boots(has a bit of everything so she can see what she prefers and you can both search for cheaper versions of them.
Black pants,Tesco or m&s on line.
Ibuprofen (for pain and reduces the bleeding a little).
Small chocolate bar.
Hot water bottle or one of those bean ones you stick Inthe microwave.
Just be matterfact about it.There are also Q&A bits on line on most of the brand labeled products ,you might want to look at these or your DD.
She may be irregular at first,that's all normal.It can be scarey at first but she will soon find what works for her with your help.

Also if she doesn't know how, teaching her how to put a wash on may be a good step. You can suggest it or just do it as part of learning how to be an adult but giving her the choice to wash her own clothes if she has an accident will help. I was only 10 when I started my period and I was so embarrassed I tried hiding accidents from my parents and not putting them out for wash. My mam quickly realised and talked to me, she didn't mind doing it but I asked how and from then on I would put a wash on before school if I needed to once everyone was in work or out for the day, I got back first and moved to the dryer and then mam usually added it to the normal washing to be put away. It gave me a sense of control and knowledge and I quickly didn't feel the need to, I would just make a separate pile and let mam know it was urgent if I couldn't do it myself.

My DD uses Lil-lets teen pads from Boots or Savers. She is small for her age and they are more comfortable as smaller. I’ve bought her lots of knickers from Primark - they are much cheaper so she could throw them away if it’s really bad leak. For dance she puts 2 pairs of small white knickers so it’s more comfortable, pad stays secure in place and she worries less about leaks. You could still see knikers a little bit as ballet tights are light but it’s not so obvious. And she wears black knickers on the days of PE. She also has cotton pouch from Accessorize to put pads in for school. It fits 2. And then another in her bag. Your DD will need to use some sort of period tracker app. Apologies if these was mentioned already.
You are doing great job.

Awww bless her! If she's finding it difficult to talk to you about stuff face to face, send her a text or email telling her you can understand that and that she can always contact you through technology, about anything at all. Or you can go all retro and buy a notebook that's just for the 2 of you to use. She can write anything she wants to get off her chest knowing that you'll read it and write back. I know that sounds extreme when you're in the same house but it shows her you're listening while saving her the embarrassment of having to divulge personal things aloud.

Buy her a book, or even a couple of the best rated ones, about puberty.

Always Infinity are the most lightweight and comfortable sanitary towels I've used. You want to get the normal and the nighttime ones. Just because she's young doesn't mean her periods won't be heavy. You can only buy them online but that's easy enough with Amazon. Get her some everyday panty liners too. She's young to use them regularly but I'd get a box of mini tampons too so she can give them a try.

She'll need some dark coloured undies and dark towels for that time of the month (Deep purple or burgundy would be nicer than black maybe?) You can get pants that are kind of absorbent and designed for women on their period. I wouldn't use them without a pad, at least not on the heavier days but they may make her feel more confident at school. Google 'Modi-body'.

Yes to a lidded bathroom bin

If she doesn't already have one get a mattress protector for her bed. She might prefer darker bed sheets too.

Make sure you always have paracetamol and ibuprofen in. She can take them both together. Some people take them alternately 2 hours apart.

Buy her a wheat bag or a hot water bottle

I guess she gets pocket money - is it enough to buy her own sanitary stuff if she feels more comfortable doing that? You can get kids debit cards that you can top up. I'm not sure if they can use them online or not.

Get her a big bar of chocolate, just for her. Hopefully it'll help to break down the wall. Even if she's still fighting you on the outside it's showing her you care.

Thank you she opened up to me this morning and we went shopping for some new bed sheets, towels, underwear and soaps

This is what my Dad did for me - my periods were very heavy and really painful-

Black pants
Black sheets for my bed so if I leaked it wasn’t so obvious
Bins in the bathroom and in my bedroom
Lots of different pads
Painkillers