Is there something wrong with my DD?

[Ziggzagg]

She's 12.

She's always been a little bit eccentric but it's getting more obvious as she gets older. Here's some examples-

-She won't eat odd numbers of food (pizza slices/chips) she stormed out the house the other day because someone had eaten one slice of her pizza and she couldn't eat an odd number of slices
-She overreacts to things normal people would brush off
-She gets obsessed with different things (bands/ TV programs) usually what different friendship groups are into (she's currently into Marvel but has never shown an interest before- she has a good friend who is into it)
-She tends to be oblivious to people's emotions/feelings and would not show much empathy (for example DHs niece died yesterday and DD said why should I be upset I don't know her)
-She doesn't wipe her backside after a number 2- sick of shitty smelly knickers and sometimes she won't change them despite me telling her to
-I have to stand over her in mornings telling her what to do next or she will just sit there staring into space
-She is so unorganized (always forgets something, her bag, phone, bus money)
-She is doing quite well at a really good school and does dance as an extra curricular activity

I do love her and she is a wonderful child but I'm becoming more worried about her as she gets older and more issues pop up.

Please tell me this will pass or if anything sounds familiar I could do with some advice.

Thanks for reading.

I honestly think it will pass. I was a disgusting teen and my mum often called me a psychopath. I'd laugh at people's misfortune and didn't care about anyone or anything only myself. Unfortunately had a really shitty few teen years. I often would not wash myself like you described with the knickers etc and often let my hair get all knotted and matted. I'd go weeks without washing it.
I had the ocd type behavior too, anxiety, just getting angry at the most ridiculous things.. it's all crazy hormones and some people get it worse than others
Sounds like she's having a hard time being a teen or becoming one even if she doesn't know it yet.

It would be worth getting it checked out.

Wow and actually I can also relate to that part / showing interest in stuff just cause other people do then moving onto something else with another person. For most of my life I don't know what I'm actually interested in as anything I've ever listened to or watched or liked, has come from someone else. When I was a teen her age I'd get obsessed with a rock band and then delete every single picture off my laptop and install girly ones because I wanted to be a different person now. This could happen very often switching back and forth. It could be a personality disorder of some sort of even something more serious, I suppose I'd be worth getting myself checked too

There is a really good book called personal hygiene. What's that good to do with Me? It is aimed at teenagers on the autistic spectrum but works for others as well. It is very matter of fact and practical.

The hygiene would be regular I suppose for someone that is acting like that, I didn't brus my teeth for ages/shower/ wash as a young teen would have such a messy dirty room. As I grew older I grew out of those dirty habits and like To be and live clean now.

@gamerchick oh give over, everyone can see I simply meant none of us have been diagnosed with any mental disorders or abnormalities or issues - any way I said "normal" or "able" or whatever, someone would have to question it. What would you say then??

Socially she's fine, has a good friendship group.
She's bright and articulate and has a great sense of humour (although a bit out there/ weird). Her room is a pig sty (rubbish and washing all over the floor within a day of cleaning) but her pens, books, DVDs and hair/ makeup is all neatly presented and in order.

I've put aside some time with her Tomorrow to go through the initial screening that a PP has posted and we will go from there.

Oh and she has always been very clumsy but has excelled in dance

@Ziggzagg and all that points away from being on the spectrum. Very mixed reactions here - how many parents of girls her age have you spoke to and discussed habits with? I think you'd be surprised to learn a lot of this is totally normal and common. Mine would definitely tell you so

Problem with not have an appropriate DX (assuming one is forthcoming) is that yiu get labelled anyway. Lazy, disorganised, megalomaniac (one of my more interesting teen descriptions) & that then leads to depression, esteem issues...

Just a general note for info, very common to be both ADHD & ASD. They have similar & different traits, so can obfuscate what's going on.

Lazy is can't be asked & don't want to, executive function issues are want to but can't. It's very tiring, mentally & physically.

Soft bog roll, definitely!

My points are more general, than specific here.

I also know someone who can't bear odd numbers. He's a teenager. He goes berserk in the car if the volume for the radio is an odd number.

Actually, the rest could all be transient issues that resolve as she gets further up her teen years.

Does she have constipation?

ASD (you could be describing …) go to gp & ask for assessment & don't hold your breath look up NAS (national autistic society)

I think that lots (possibly all) of your examples point to autism. My ds is autistic and all but one of your list applies to him. Try not to think of it as "something wrong with" her because if she is, you wouldn't want negative labels like that to damage her self esteem.

Despite the similarities with ds, awareness is growing that girls are frequently not diagnosed with ASD because the medical profession sees it as a 'male' condition so those traits that are typically seen as autistic relate to how it tends to present in boys rather than girls.

Have to agree with pp that a GP visit and evaluation should be on the cards. It does sound like ASD which presents itself differently in girls who can 'mask' the common symptoms better than boys.

@sirmione16

not necessarily. My children all have diagnoses of autism, and all of them are funny and have friends, as do a lot of autistic adults that I know (and me - im hilarious ;) )

From your points I just read I would def request an appointment with the GP. There is nothing 'wrong' with her, she may just be different and there is nothing wrong with that. As for wiping herself, have you considered she cant or just forgets? A lot of autistic children struggle with coordination and fine motor skills, they also have issues with hygiene because of various thins including sensory input.
You don't want her labelled? Why? If she was diagnosed it will open up doors for the support and therapy she might need as well as legally covering her education rights and needs.
Hope the embarrassment changes her ways??? Degrading and unnecessary! If she is autistic, you can't change her way of thinking by embarrassing her.

Is there a reason that you don’t want her to be labelled OP? I tend to look on it as getting her the help and support she needs. High School can be very challenging for girls. I think undiagnosed girls with ASD get a rougher deal.

my own mum was one not too keen for me to be labelled, and oh my i wish i had had that diagnosis a little earlier and had the support i needed at school a little earlier. hope everything works out for you!

I don't have a huge amount of experiance of asd which most other posters are suggesting but this sounds much more like OCD to me which my eldest has, in fact your description is exactly like dd at that age.