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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Original poster

TV in bedroom - age 12

65 replies

gracerowansmum · 19/01/2018 11:38

I want to get my daughter a TV for her room for 12th birthday. Ex doesn't agree its a good plan, we have a good relationship and I dont want to fall out with him about it. Would like some help deciding what is the right thing to do, I trust her not to be up there all day and late into the night watching it, she works hard at school and does loads of sport, we are an active sociable family. Can you tell me your experiences with TV's in bedrooms at this age? Thank you :-)

OP posts:
Nottheduchessofcambridge · 21/01/2018 09:16

I had a telly in my room when I was 10, didn’t affect me whatsoever. Sometimes I watched it, sometimes I didn’t. I think my parents enjoyed having the living room for adult tv sometimes. My DC have TVs and they use them exactly the same way as I did. Homework still gets done, toys still get played with, books still get read. People make far too much of a big deal out of it. If I feel they’ve watched a bit too much, I tell them to get off, go outside and play or get the Lego out. Never any moans from them.

metalmum15 · 21/01/2018 09:16

NerSnerr Exactly. Also means you don't have to put up with the shit they like to watch in the living room!

FireandBrimstone · 21/01/2018 09:23

After a long time deliberating and fretting over whether to or not, we bought my son a tv for his room for his 12th birthday. It's strictly regulated - tv time is agreed and we take the controls away when time's up (also when it's bedtime so it can't be sneaked on later). Tv is by streaming services and I've set parental controls on the accounts so that he can't view content over a certain age rating. It doesn't always go smoothly when time's up, admittedly, and access to the controls does become a sanction if there are behaviour issues generally so there can be days when it's totally off the radar for him. He uses the tv just as much for playing xbox as watching programmes. And so far the limitations on time have not impacted on family time we spend all together watching stuff - which was one of my many concerns that we'd never see him. I have to admit that it's also helped reduce arguments when the family were fighting over one tv for multiple uses. I hope that helps give you the alternative perspective.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 21/01/2018 09:35

Hate TVs in bedrooms, DD will never have one, ever.

Oblomov18 · 21/01/2018 09:37

Ds's have one, in both their bedrooms, to play x box. Shock. Horror. Can't see what the problem is. We have NO problems with accessing it late into the night, or inappropriate material. Hmm

ineedamoreadultieradult · 21/01/2018 09:39

Would she even want one? DS 10 has a TV in his room he never uses it. Like a lot of his friends they don't really watch TV at all, just YouTube and they can watch that on their phones.

NoMoreUsernames · 21/01/2018 09:47

Meh my 9 year old has a TV in his room, doesn't actually watch it other than movies when he has friends over for sleepovers, or sometimes cartoons on weekend mornings if it's too early to get up, it's really for the Xbox and it was my idea because I wanted my TV back. We only have now TV and netflix and have separate password protected adult and child accounts. Plus our house is very small so I can always hear what's on. He's never tried to watch it after bedtime but he's very much a rule follower so it wouldn't cross his mind, if it did I'd just take the controls out his room at night.

Roomba · 21/01/2018 10:02

I had a TV in my bedroom from age 12, this would have been in 1988. A fair few of my friends did too as teenagers. I still did myt homework and I didn't stay awake late watching TV, it went off so I could read at bedtime. I much preferred reading to watching TV anyway but other children may vary! I probably did watch stuff that was a bit unsuitable sometimes, but TV is rather tame in comparison to what is out there on the internet for kids to stumble across.

Anyway, TV was the main form of entertainment back then, so everyone wanted a TV in their room so they didn't have to watch Howard's Way or House if Elliot with their parents downstairs. These days, kids really don't watch much TV in my experience. If your DD is sensible and you can keep an eye on what she is watching and when, then I din't think it's a terrible idea per se. If it's a smart TV that can access the internet/netflix etc then I would be far more wary of her having access where you can't keep an eye all the time.

nancy75 · 21/01/2018 10:06

Dds got a tv in her room & has had for years, she hardly ever watches it, sometimes she puts a dvd on if she’s up really early. It certainly hasn’t lead to the downfall of humanity as predicted by some in this thread Hmm

uhoh2016 · 21/01/2018 10:38

Most 12yo have a phone, tablet or laptop or at least access too, not sure how a TV in the bedroom is any different 🤔

Evelynismyformerspyname · 21/01/2018 10:45

uhoh None of those gadgets are necessarily kept in the bedroom overnight though. A lot of people avoid TVs in bedrooms because the light they emit suppresses melatonin production and leads to poorer sleep quality.

Apparently even ereaders emit the blue light. It's only a problem during the night and in the 90 minutes before bed, but really we should all avoid any screen use (including in other rooms) in the 90 minutes before bed for the best quality sleep, and I doubt many of us do.

MuddlingThroughLife · 21/01/2018 10:49

My girls share a room and had their first tv when they were around the ages of 3 and 6. Ds was either 3 or 4 when he had his first tv and 7 when he had his first Xbox, also in his bedroom. We've never had a problem with them watching them when not supposed to, have never watched them to go to sleep and always done well at school.

I see no problems with tv's in bedrooms. My girls are now 16 and 13 and mainly watch Netflix on their tv. Ds is 10 and passed away 19 days ago and I'm glad he got so much pleasure out of his tv and Xboxes. Life is too short. Live it.

LunarGirl · 21/01/2018 11:04

So sorry for the loss of your son muddling Flowers

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 21/01/2018 11:09

Oh Muddling I cannot even begin gossip to imagine how you must be feeling. Would it help to tell us a bit more about Him? Thanks

Evelynismyformerspyname · 21/01/2018 11:11

Muddling Flowers so sorry for your loss

MuddlingThroughLife · 21/01/2018 11:30

Thank you Lunar, Everyone and Evelyn.

It would help to talk about him and I'm sorry for hijacking the thread and bringing it down!

Super Sam was diagnosed with a brain tumour 03/01/17 aged 9 with cancer cells in his spinal fluid. He had an almost 7 hour surgery to remove the tumour. He had his stem cells collected, 31 sessions of high dose radiotherapy, four cycles on high dose chemo with stem cells given back after each cycle.

He turned 10 in August 2017.

He rang the end of treatment bell 5th September 2017.

First end of treatment all clear MRI in October 2017.

8th December we threw an end of treatment party.

16th December we found out it was back and terminal. 17 days later on 2nd January 2018, Super Sam grew his Angel wings at home in my bed with his whole family around him.

I'm so proud of how hard he fought and smiled throughout. I miss him so much 💔

Evelynismyformerspyname · 21/01/2018 11:42

That's heartbreaking Muddling your poor brave boy. There are no words, I'm so sorry.

EveryoneTalkAboutPopMusic · 21/01/2018 12:31

That really is heartbreaking. He sounds like a very brave and special boy. ❤️

HollyBollyBooBoo · 21/01/2018 12:58

Oh Muddling, how completely heartbreaking.

BlindLemonAlley · 21/01/2018 14:21

So sorry to hear this Muddling, I cannot imagine what you and your family are going through.

EggsonHeads · 21/01/2018 14:23

Don't you want her to you know develop? TV really doesn't offer her anything. If you can't be bothered spending the time with her then buy her a whole bunch of books or sign her up for some kind of sport or buy sone art supplies instead.

Ohforfoxsakereturns · 21/01/2018 14:26

I’m so, so sorry Muddling Flowers

That1950sMum · 21/01/2018 14:27

MY 12 year old DD has a TV in her room, but she can't get television channels on it - only use it for watching DVDs. She's not allowed to use it on school nights but she loves it at weekends or when she has friends over

I'd say one with an aerial so they can watch TV would be a definite no at that age.

That1950sMum · 21/01/2018 14:30

Muddling, I'm sorry I only just saw your post. I'm so sorry for your loss and cannot imagine how you must be feeling right now.

metalmum15 · 21/01/2018 14:33

If you can't be bothered spending the time with her

Wtf? Jumping to conclusions much! How do you conclude that just because OP is thinking of getting her dd a tv, she doesn't spend any time with her? Kids need to learn to entertain themselves too and there's nothing wrong with watching tv or films to relax.