DD aged 9 asks silly and untimely questions at most difficult and inappropriate time. Is this attention seeking or something else?

[nilly1306]

I have always patiently answered my DD aged 9 questions, to the best of my knowledge and appropriate to her age. However, recently I have noticed that she asks silly (to me) questions, like "what sort of clothes would you have on your fairy" just as I'm struggling to get her toddler sister to put her shoes on, or getting her ready to leave.

Whitest at the G.P. and trying to talk to the G.P. she asks questions which not only irrelevant but also cannot be answered in a short way, then again in the queue at the chemists, while her sister is playing up and needs my attention. Is this a cry for attention? If so how do I deal with it, when clearly I cannot give her the attention she requires at that time.

Any advise please.

DS1 used to do this all the time. We called them Why Is God? questions (unanswerable) I used to ration him to two a day. Just call them Fairy Clothes questions and say they can only be answered when she is in the bath (or some time when she has your undivided attention.)

Turn it round 'hmm, I am not sure, what do you think fairies wear?" Then let her chunter on.

I thought you meant fairy as in the northern meaning not a winged creature!!!

Same as mouldy.
My first answer to any question is 'What do you think?' In part because I want them to think first or tell me what their thought about X or y are. But also it stops tht sort question dead in their tracks.

If I'm with someone, yes. A sharp 'dc2, I'm talking. You can't interrupt conversation like this' is all. Anything else would be rude to the person I'm talking to.

Mines definitely an attention seeker, it's mam MAM repeatedly until you actually answer him, yanno looking at him isn't an answer. Then it's ummmm while he thinks of something. If I ask him to wait a moment he'll shout, stamp and clap from the side so I can't concentrate on what I was doing and he's asked to leave the room which means slammed doors.

I wouldn't mind but it's usually a question I've answered 50 times already. I've never known a kid who needs constant one on one before and how much of that is his autism?

I'm really liking the why is God suggestion I'm going to try that on the school run

I think children need to have the "dynamics" of conversation explained to them, when they are old enough to understand; we as adults take them for granted, but they're actually quite complicated. For instance, we know that it's not good manners to suddenly change the subject on a whim, unless it appears to be "finished with", and you have to choose your moment carefully. I remember my parents explaining this. It's a useful skill in adult life as well. I remember being the child asking questions at the wrong times; I once (aged 6) asked my teacher how old she was; we were in the theatre watching a play at the time. My teacher did reply in a whisper; she knew some of my dreamy ways, and when to be strict about them! She didn't want a scene (no pun intended) in a crowded theatre.

It's difficult to deal with interruptions on the spot without sounding strict and snappy, and I remember as a child the shock of being "shouted down" when asking what I thought was an innocent question. But I did respect it if it was explained afterwards. Also I agree with "inviting" questions from children when it is a good moment.

Another useful thing might be getting children to notice when adults do things politely, and useful phrases such as "I'm sorry to interrupt" (to be used sparingly of course).