Overweight DD - lunchbox help please?

[hillyhilly]

Despite my very best efforts, the Y6 measuring programme has confirmed that my dd is overweight - she always has been, I manage to keep her within the overweight category rather than obese but have never got below that.
For background, I am a slim sahm who occasionally attends slimming world to keep my weight within my control. I was a skinny, small child but was overweight when I graduated and married. Dh is obese (possibly morbidly) always has been overweight but has excellent self esteem about it, he weighs less now than ever before but still is over 20 stone and has type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure. He was a sturdy child which is pretty much how I would describe dd, she's not very fat but is solidly built.
I cook everything from scratch, there is not a huge amount wrong with her diet though she could eat less sweets. (She eats some each week not each day), getting her to eat veg has always been a battle and she has a big appetite - she prefers wholemeal everything but would prefer to read a book than run around the garden. She plays badminton once a week for 90 mins and does drama school which includes 1 hour dance, her other hobbies are less active - guides, singing, flute choir.
I know that I can up her fruit and veg a little but a regular source of conflict between us is the fact that all her friends (supposedly) are bringing crisps and chocolate or biscuits daily to school (they all take packed lunches) she claims that they all feel sorry for her already as her lunches are so mean and she has nothing worth sharing.
I'm sorry this is turning out so long, I got a battering last time I posted about her weight, please don't do that to me again, I'm wondering if there any packaged snacks I can send that fit the girls' sharing bill whilst not being too unhealthy.
Her lunch usually consists of a wholemeal snadwich, some nice fruit (mango/ strawberries/ grapes - so embarrassing) or carrot -and a few cheesey biscuits or s&v rice thins or a chocolate rice cake or fruit flakes, I try to put one savoury and one sweet with the sandwich. She claims there's not enough and she needs more treats.
She stopped swimming when she reached the end of the levels and it clashed with guides which she prefers, I could take her swimming but that tends to consist of going up and down the slides and hanging out waiting for the wave machine.
Sorry it's so long, i am aware that I've been trying to justify myself as I do feel so bad and am dreading discussing it with her.

I wouldn't give my dd Fruit Flakes - they are around 70% sugar - more sugary than Haribos starmix (another no no).

I think you have to look at her diet as a whole, not just lunches.

If my child was overweight I would stick to three meals a day with maybe a very healthy snack or supper.
absolutely NO treats - mine do not have sugary biscuits in their lunchboxes and you certainly do not need them

but tbh if your dh is so overweight this is going to be a struggle without his help

wholemeal sandwich with no mayonnaise and lots of salad
2 x pieces of fruit
a yogurt for a 'pudding'

would be a perfectly good lunch for a 10 year old

Be careful upping protein/fat in favour of carbs- she's not an adult and high protein/high fat isn't suitable for a child (barring medical conditions).

Balance is the key.

I would actually talk to school about the children saying they are sharing food. At school we have a strict no sharing food policy. Mainly as there are so many children with allergies this could cause a problem. I had to tell some year 3's off for trying to do this last week and remind them why.

I can see it happening at high school but I'd be a bit if it was happening at primary.

Another point age really isn't doing enough sport. They are supposed to do at least 60 minutes of physical activity a day at this age. She probably won't be running round much at playtime, unless she likes playing football with the boys. The PE they do at school it's enough really, I'd be trying to get her more physically active.

DD who is in year 4 and I know does a lot is currently doing, 2 hours running club, 1 hour swimming, 1 hour dancing, 1 hour cycling and another 1/2 swimming lessons a week and still doesn't seem that tired from it all. She does cubs to which they spend a lot of time running around in.

I second the exercise. dd10 does 3 hours of running, 2 hours of swimming, 2 hours of cycling and 2 hours of riding a week. At least 1.5hours a day.

By the way I was trying to brag just show that they are capable of doing a lot of physical activity. Epically as they don't do much at school all day.

yes me too migGril, my dd is extremely active but I've been amazed at how some parents talk about their dcs getting tired after one football match

I used to roll my eyes at DD saying she was teased because of her healthy lunches. Then I started helping out at school and yes, they do all have chocolate and crisps etc. And then there's the retching noises that they make when someone brings in something like hummus. I helped out at a football match, DD had a banana as a snack, the other girls had big bags of Haribo etc. They told DD she couldn't have any of theirs as she had nothing worth sharing. Was a bit of an eye opener tbh. Annoyingly DD struggles with her weight despite being sporty and the other girls are skinny.

Ok.....I'm going to be gentle, I hope, but wonder if you are quite as aware as you think of the issues? You say you are a 'slim' SAHM, but then say you do SW to keep it under control. So what is slim? To me, slim is size 8/10. Is that what you think of as slim? You say your DH is the smallest he's ever been but go on to say he's 20 stones. So he clearly has a huge problem.

Do you really think your DD is 'sturdy'? Or is she plain old overweight?

She needs to move more and eat less. Greek yoghurt is a healthy and filing breakfast. Increase protein and reduce carbs. Increase veg and reduce fruit.

Lougle if that was gentle!!
I am a size 10, 9.5 stone, last year it crept up to over 10 stone and I struggled to get down so I went to S and lost the half stone.
My DH is a big guy but for sure he could do with losing 2-3 stone I suspect.
DD's diet has very little wrong with it, she has scrambled or a poached egg on wholemeal toast for breakfast, a packed lunch of wholemeal bread with tuna and sweetcorn or ham or chicken, fruit and something else - tomorrow it's popcorn, today was a chocolate rice cake. Dinner is homemade, always has two portions of veg and meat with a carb - pasta or rice are always wholemeal, followed by fruit or yoghurt (now they have finished their 2 Easter Eggs). She doesn't eat sweets everyday, snack after school was mini smarties today, oatcakes and peanut butter another day (before badminton), pistachios.
Frankly she is plump around the middle, but not huge, legs are sturdy, not skinny (as are both Dh and I's legs and indeed her brother who is a perfect weight.
I am not deluded about her, it is a bugger for her that she can't eat the crap that so many girls do but that's how it is & she finds that hard - as do I frankly, if I didn't watch and take care over my weight, I would be a lot heavier as I enjoy food and drink, DH cares less and weighs more

Unless your DH is 6ft 10 inches or taller, losing 3 stones would still make him overweight. That's the trouble. So that's why I'm thinking you may be a little bit misguided in your perspective. 20 stones is not just a bit overweight for the vast majority of the male population.

Give her more protein and less carbs.
Get rid of all sugary cereals. Yoghurt and eggs are much better.
The carbs will just increase her appetite.

Don't give sweet sandwiches. Put some lean protein in them. Fruit and yoghurt for snacks. One small treat.

Your sw dinner should be fine for all the family.

Can you start daily walks as the weather is getting better?

Her lunch sounds fine but I'd get rid of the fruit flakes for dental health reasons alone. Can you swap the fruit flakes with something 'cool' that has the same calories?

There's a limit to what your DD can eat at school so I'd suggest the issue is what she is eating at home.

Your DH must consume a shed-load of calories to be the size he is, self esteem or not.

I just don't see how having an obese father and a slim mother who goes to slimming world is working for your DD. Perhaps the message is confusing.

Oh god. Another thread where the overweight child eats a perfect diet!!

20 stone is ENORMOUS

My dsis is obese and she is constantly saying 'I love my curves' and seems to have huge amounts of self confidence. I am very conflicted as on one hand I think it's great that she is so happy with her shape, but on the other hand her weight is a health risk

I feel for you OP- my 9 year old likes porridge for breakfast then for break has a Quaker oat bar or the go ahead Apple bars, lunch is bagel thin or roll with ham, popcorn or caramel snack a jacks and a yo yo or peeler or the little packets of laces but are made of fruit. After school snack is some fruit. Always has a sweet after dinner though -like mini smarties or fun size choc. If hungry near bedtime has a small cup of dry cereal like Cheerios. He's a healthy weight. Any of these snacks work for you? Like u can get the individual bags of Cheerios or snack a jacks?

So much sugar! Personally I wouldnt feed my child any of that apart from the Porridge!

Op it's hard my own dd has gained two stone in two years and this is starting to bug the life out of me. It is definitely due to the crap she buys and eats at school! It's the sugary drinks, the cakes etc I've had no option but to discuss her food choices with her and be rather blunt about it. Tbf she has increased her activity massively but there's just so much bloody sugar in everything these days that it's very hard for kids to avoid.

I think you sound like a great mum with genuine concern - all I can say is don't deprive her and teach her moderation is key.

Your dh must be eating a lot of calories each day to weigh so much and the strain on his heart would indeed worry me but if he's happy with himself then so be it.

I tell dd2 that if she eats too much sugary crap she will get fat

Honestly don't think a lot of children put two and two together as parents are so nervous about saying anything.

My DH is 6"3. He didn't look overweight to me but had a bit of a belly - not a proper apple shape, just a bit of a belly.

He's been working to up his veg intake and to exercise more - bought a rowing machine and exercise bike. He's pleased now as he's just dropped below 14 stone. He doesn't look under weight and probably can lose another half a stone before he looks thin for his height.

Does your DH not see the potential impact for him and his family on him being so much overweight (and it is not just a couple of stone that he has to lose), and the impact of his blood pressure and diabetes? If he's got type 2 diabetes why does he not care so much what he eats, surely he needs to care more to get that under control?

He can then do more activity with your DD - if you walk her to school and take her to clubs when does he do active stuff with her? do you have room in your garden for a trampoline for your DC to use?

those fruit snacks are full of sugar, some worse than haribos. just to keep that in mind.
we sometimes make flapjacks/oatsnacks ourselves. no added sugar as the dried fruit we put in is plenty sweet enougj.