My 10 year old boy is piling on weight

[CarolDW]

Recently i've noticed that my ds has been putting a lot of weight on, he's 4"5 and is 6 stone 3, so I think that makes him overweight. He certainly looks overweight and he's a lot fatter than he ever has been. He hates sport and eats loads of food, he often tries to take it from cupboards secretly. He's rapidly outgrowing his clothes and a lot of people are starting to notice it. Anyone in the same boat ? What should I do ?

Carol, I understand how hard it is, especially withholding food. My instinct is to do what my mother did which was demonstrate her love through cooking, we were also not allowed to leave the table until our plates were empty.

I will also use some of these suggestions with my DS, I am tempted to wait until after Christmas on the food restrictions, but having managed to get him out walking today I plan to continue with daily exercise - might be easier in the school holidays.

Holding your hand.

Well 2 cooked meals a day won't help if they are his options.
I presume he makes his own choice at school for lunch which means you have to make better choices for his evening meal.

Whereisegg- We very rarely have take aways (in fact I can't remember the last time we had one) but anyway i'm sure his friends will be interested in the things you mentioned. I'd like to think that his friends might be able to help persuade him to try them.

My son at 14 is still a bit overweight (and has always been on the 99th centile for both weight and height before he started being overweight) He is dyspraxic which means that he is not only quite bad at sport but has some sensory issues which means he gets a lot of pleasure from chewing things/eating

Looking back I think I could have done the following to improve things (although he IS much fitter and is now on the rugby team and walks everywhere) I feel my son IS growing into his weight now and still shooting up (already 6 ft) Tennis lessons, enforced group runs for D of E and D of E 20 mile hikes have also helped.

more protein and less carbs - lots of chicken meat and fish and far less pasta bread and potatoes
a sandwich when he came home from school instead of cakes and biscuits
a big pile of carrot sticks and cherry tomatoes to deal with the need to put things in his mouth
other chewy stuff - chewy necklaces, chewing gum (look on a SN board under sensory processing for advice and places to buy chewy things which aren't food)

Don't make a big deal of cutting down things he loves - children will always find a way to comfort eat and borrow pennies to buy sweets etc

emotional/self esteem issues unless dealt with are often medicated with food (cheapest way to feel happy) find other ways to make him feel rewarded - nice chat nice board game new music whatever

avoid sugary food -sugar high sugar low but don't make it an obvious cutting out just a cutting down replacing with stuff which is more nutritious

cut out sugary yoghurts completely and replace with plain yoghurt with a bit of honey and fruit

ditto juice - replace with sparkling water or plain water and fruit on the side.

Every time you walk somewhere with him you are helping him to feel fitter and giving him endorphins which mean he will desire less sugary/fatty food for the same rush.

Swanhildapirouetting- Could my ds be dyspraxic ? he struggles a lot with all sport and he's always eating.

how can I find out

My friend is in a very similar situation with her son. He's overweight and hates all physical activity because he's overweight. It's a vicious circle. She is determined to help him loose some weight before high school.

She has started doing the following with him and I have to say it's had a huge effect. He lost eight KG last week.

They are both getting up ten minutes early and going for a ten minute 'power walk' together every morning before school and work.

They are going swimming four times a week. Once in as aqua aerobics class and they other days they do lengths

They have bought him a bike and they are riding round the streets at the weekend. She has limited his screen time.

She is watching what he eats.

Talk to him about health and healthy eating and 5 a day. I did what a previous poster did when I noticed ds was putting on weight. He's 9 and I would tell him not to eat something as he'd already had something sugary or that wasn't a very healthy food.
I made a point of telling him why he needed food with vitamins in and why he didn't need sugary and fatty stuff. Not nagging him or going on about it but just pointing it out here and there. I started adding more veg to dinner too and cutting out snacks.
Luckily ds is quite sporty and loves riding his bike and playing football so his weight gain was purely from over eating.

SavoyCabbage- How old is your friends Ds ?

read up about it, and

then go to GP and ask for a referral if you have concerns that he fits the profile. My ds1 was only properly referred when he was 12/13 - much too late really... Weight gain in itself doesn't nec mean dyspraxia.

He's 11.

You can't really expect his friends to persuade him to try them, you are the parent, you tell him "we are doing x today", "we're having x for dinner", "you'll be taking packed lunch in for 2/3/4/all days now", "I won't be buying fizzy drinks anymore as we are drinking too much", "you will only be having x amount of time on the computer".

I would really try and alter meal type also. Hamburger for lunch followed by fish and chips for dinner, surely you can see that's not particularly healthy. What is he eating for breakfast?

None of those meals mentioned have vegetables or fruit in either.

Each meal for his age should roughly be 1/3 protein, 1/3 vegetables, and 1/3 carbs. Not processed or fried. Ie salmon, broccoli and peas, and rice. Or chicken, carrots and cauliflower and potatoes

Cereal or toast aren't that great for breakfast alone as will leave hungry an hour later or sugar dip. Will he eat mainly porridge with fruit and boiled eggs?

HansieLove, if the weather is on our side I do-ish, child free I can do the walk a good 10-15 mins quicker. The thing is I can afford the time, and I know not everyone has that luxury. Also, if I didn't, I know I would pile the weight on. I don't go to the gym or do any organised sport so this is my way of keeping the balance.

I think ds would probably benefit from more fruit and vegetables in his diet.

I was a chubby child because my mum let me eat chocolate. She gave me coco pops for breakfast, crisps in lunch box - I don't ever remember eating fruit & big dinners. I also had some sort of choc bar after school plus loads of choc on a Sunday afternoon. My mum was obsessed with weight & I felt very self conscious as a child & also didn't like sporty activities apart from horse riding.

With my DD's, they have a proper breakfast, porridge, bacon & eggs, French toast. They eat a balanced lunch which is appropriate to their sizes & they generally don't snack. They also have a proper evening meal which they tend to mostly eat because they are hungry. We walk to school & they do various physical activities. I'm pleased to say they look to be in great physical shape & they have no idea what a diet is, calories, whatever. They eat to live, rather than live to eat (my DM).

So what I'm trying to say is, kids weight is all down to the parents.

Looking at what your ds eats for his dinner suggests you need to totally overhaul your evening menu. Do you all eat together ? Don't talk to him about losing weight, calories etc, start eating proper food & then he won't be hungry.

Food in our house is something like toad in the hole with lots of veg, SPAG bol, veggie chilii, chicken casserole, chicken curry, salmon, potato wedges & veggies, pesto pasta, pine nuts & sweet corn, homemade chicken fajitas, prawn curry, meatballs & rice/pasta/couscous. Plus roast dinner & pud at the weekends. No-one need feel deprived.

No link between dyspraxia and being overweight - ds2 is 15, 6'2", his BMI is below the 1st centile (he is healthy though, amazingly) and he's very dyspraxic

Took DS to the doctor today, the doctor said that he seems to have gained a lot of weight in a short space of time, he also said that he couldn't find any underlying reason for his weight gain.