All my son's 10 yr old class mates allowed 15/18 rated movies at home !

[PriMum]

DS goes to a very well regarded catholic school.We do not allow DS to watch 15/18+ movies with violence/se_ scenes. Yesterday DS came home upset stating that all his class are calling him a baby because he is not allowed to watch those movies. We have let him watch movies after deleting certain scenes, just found out that they have been discussing the scenes and DS is now upset we have deleted certain scenes that all his friends are talking about. Know that this is peer pressure , but I am surprised to know all the parents (including the best behaved and conservative families) let them watch these movies. DS is feeling left out because he cannot join in the conversation about movies and upset that we are super strict. we have tried to explain the rationale, but it is not being heard. What do you parents do on this subject ?

I wouldn't really believe that all are allowed to watch whatever. Its a kids thing -- everybody has, everybody does, why can't i?
But i admit i don't pay much attention at the ratings. Ratings are done by a different agency which does not really reflect the audience for who it is made. Like many popular Hollywood horror films. Maybe not for 10yos, but definitely for under 16s. Anybody older just couldn't take them seriously.

Ted isn't even bloody good! I tend to follow the 2 years younger rule, so 12's age 10+, 15's at 13+ and 18's at 16+. I find if it's a comedy the majority of jokes go over their heads anyway and kids interpret them as to what they think they mean then realise a few years down the line how wrong they are. I think what i've been least comfortable with is DD16 watching 18's, because I know she will understand everything happening in them. I only find out when a friend bought her Trainspotting for her birthday, and later found out she watched Pulp Fiction when she was about 15 and a half, but apparently she is trying to work through the imdb top 250 list..

Agree with fairylea. A lot of parents are ignorant about the details of these things. I've been fairly strict with my 2 up to now. Eldest is 10 and he has seen 12s like Star Wars but I won't let him watch the Hunger Games yet even though I actually think the film is less traumatising than the book. (He hasn't read that either).

Neither of them have ever had any nightmares at all, about ghosts or monsters or baddies coming to kill them. I do put it down to them only being exposed to certain images at an age I think they can deal with them.

I tell a lie. Ds1 once watched a cartoon where the character developed a mole on his skin which grew really big and eventually got it's own face and character - he was hysterical laughing watching it. And then woke up that night saying he was scared he was going to grow a giant mole on his body too!!!

They do exaggerate. My 10yo dd3 has seen several 15s - mostly carefully vetted by us and because we were watching them with her older sisters. Billy Elliott, Brassed Off, etc. Ones that I don't consider very violent, or perhaps they have lesbian kissing in which tends (it seems) to be rated higher than hetero kissing, but to me isn't any more inappropriate.

But I bet she goes around school saying she's allowed to watch 15s at home. And I know my 12yo does, because I discuss it with her friends' parents. They don't say "it's just occasionally, carefully vetted and watched with my parents so we can discuss the politics of the miners' strike, etc". (I like to offer my children a bit of gritty realism and some sociological issues in their films).

My 7 year old says he's watched Ted because he's seen an advert for it on YouTube or TV

I have a 13,11 and 7 year old and sometimes disagree with the ratings so I watch it first or find out why it's been given a certain rating. My children have seen movies "underage" like Star Wars, Gremlins, Jurrassic Park, Mean Girls, Iron Man etc and I have no shame in admitting that. The older 2 have watched The Walking Dead which is probably an 18 but they rolled their eyes at it. Personally I think Hunger Games which is a 12 much more intense.

I'm very interested in this at the moment as ds who's 11 wants to watch 21 Jump Street which is a 15. I assume it's crass, puerile humour like American Pie? His friends are allowed to watch 15 rated films (the parents have told me this) so he feels left out but I'm dubious about a blanket "you can watch 15 films"; I'd rather judge each film on its own merits. Does this mean I'll have to watch a pile of tedious crap?

Rule for DS (11) is 12s are fine. Some 15s, if I have seen and checked them are added to the ok list (but most not), and 18s a strict no-go.
Despite his best efforts to convince me otherwise, on speaking to other parents this seems pretty standard at his school.

Incidentally, I have the same rule with computer games, but for some reason this is not the norm, with most of his friends having access to pretty gruesome games. AIBU for not seeing any difference?
DS not into video games anyway, so not really a problem, and he has learned not to discuss it with his friends.

I have watched Ted several times - I think it is a fantastically funny film - I have 2 boys, one coming up for 14 and the other coming up for 13, would I let them watch it? Categorically "No!"

I am not uber strict either. I have allowed them to watch LOTR and others of that ilk and they do have some video games that they are too young for. I don't really have too much of an issue about fantasy violence as they are both good boys, polite, well behaved etc.

Each to their own, but when I have talked about it with my boys when they did raise that class mates had watched movies that I hadn't allowed them to, they made comments about some of them being scared to go to sleep and that actually they didn't understand a lot of what the film was about and that actually they didn't necessarily enjoy them that much because of that. The conclusion they came to was that their classmates were missing out on a lot of great movies because they were more hung up on it being a high rating than actually thinking about what the movie was about. My two have gone through a back catalogue of older movies that they find really funny and are more age appropriate.

I had this with DS 12. My answer was 'Oh well you're not watching them here'. No discussion, no nothing. He can watch them when he is older, not now. Mind you DH's dad was a Methodist preacher and DH won't tolerate watching anything with bad language in it, which is a hangover from how he was brought up, so I can't see DS ever watching anything above a 12 at our house.

DD is 12y and the only 15 rated film she has seen is Gremlins. TBH I was surprised it was a 15, expected it to be a 12. But I knew the film and knew it was fine.

She has seen 12 movies for a few years, probably starting with Harry Potter I guess and then others since.

There is no way I would allow her to see an 18 rated film, and tbh I wouldn't be happy with her watching any more 15 films either, though as she gets older will take each one on a film by film basis, reading the IMBD website parental guides, etc for guidance - like I did with 12s before.

None of DD's friends watch 15/18 movies though so no pressure here. I do know boys at my infant school (so only 7yo!) who watch 12s and 15s though, esp the super hero type ones...so think it is harder for boys.

I think you believe the 'my friends have all watched this/drunk this/ stayed out this late/ been to this venue ' stuff with a huge pinch of salt.

10/11/12/13 year olds want to be cool so they make up grown up stuff and convince themselves that they have done/seen it.

TBH I was surprised it was a 15, expected it to be a 12

12 ratings didn't exist back then so that will be the reason - that film revealed to my two the truth about Santa :(

I let mine watch carefully selected 15s from aged 10 but like a pp they tend to be quite old films that wouldn't attract a 15 rating now

Lots of my friends have let their primary aged children watch Ted

I watched it to see if it was suitable and turned it off after about 20 minutes
I swear, my children have heard swearing but it was every other word!!

soontobe - I now, but just thought it would have been re-rated, but I guess they only do that if they do a proper re-release of a film. I did know about the FC bit but figured DD already knew by the time she saw it

It's just not on.

I am only 24 and when I was 10 my parents would let me watch a couple of 12s they had watched and thought I'd be OK with (Titanic, for example and a few comedies that involved swearing). I don't think I was allowed to watch a 15 til I was 12 or 13 and again that was once my Mum had watched it and decided how I'd have reacted. Once I reached 16 my parents let me decide for myself what I could watch but did advise me that something might be disturbing - even last year my Dad told me that The Woman in Black might be a bit jumpy for me, so I didn't watch it. I don't like things that make me jump.

But to let a 10 year old watch an 18 is ridiculous. Now if a parent had watched a 15 and thought OK it's got a few rude words in or one disturbing scene but they thought their 10 year old could handle it I may get on board with it especially if they were willing to watch it with their child and explain anything that needed explaining. But an 18 - there is just no excuse, is there?

14 years ago when I was 10 I used to go to friends houses and their parents let them watch whatever they liked too so it isn't a recent thing at all. On the Hallowe'en of 2001 we watched IT, Chucky and Freddy vs Jason. I actually fell asleep during the latter - slashers have never disturbed me or at least, not since I was old enough to understand them. However, I don't think I was ready to watch things like that. I was quite morbidly interested in gore and supernaturally things that I had seen when at my friends houses.

I can't remember any of them really upsetting me though but that's probably because at 10/11/12 my friends thought slashers were the things that made you brave. If we had watched something more psychological I imagine I'd have been up all night.

I just think using some common sense is in order. I didn't hold it against my parents for not letting me watch them. In turn, they realised how mature I was and thus let me watch things for 2/3 years older than my age because I was mature enough to deal with it.

I think you do what is right for your child.

However, just allowing your child to watch whatever they want because you can't be bothered to monitor it or you don't want grief from them is piss poor parenting.

Hulababy probably costs too much for no benefit as they see it I would think. Like you, I just have a look on IMDb or personal experience and judge from there - I guess we all have things that we worry about more than others. I'm not too bothered about fantasy violence, swearing and nudity, I don't mind a bit of sexual content if it is limited, appropriate and "normal".

I drew the line at Ted mainly because of the drugs and probably the parsnip scene amongst others. I think for me that film is a proper 15 and they can wait until 15 or as near as dammit before watching it. They also wouldn't cope well with suspense type horror but I have nothing against Zombie war type movies whereas I am sure other parents wouldn't allow them.