Should I buy my daughter a PAYG blackberry for 12th birthday

[lessermo]

She has an ipod touch already and is always on it. She is unkeen at home to do other things like read. If we buy it, we will need to inforce straight wifi free time but if you want to discuss it, she goes all moody. Should she have one so her peers do.

DD got when when she was 11 as a present for doing really well in an exam. She wanted one so we used the promise of one to get her to revise!

Its not really that flash a phone, cost £80. I know there's cheaper phones but likewise there's much flasher phones. DD's is on PAYG, she hasn't lost it or damaged it and has had it over a year now. She doesn't use BBM, I don't think any of her friends have a Blackberry.

I'd say no.door all the reasons above. It's not I don't trust my kids, I do totally. I don't however trust other kids not to use the technology and the desire to"fit in" not to bully, include in bad stuff, exclude fromother stuff etc

Mine are now 19/17/13 the 19 yr old he's my old iPhone as her first net capable phone at 18. The other 2 have pretty basic phones and an unlimited text giffgaff package.

I have talked about it with ds (having seen a three deal for 2 smartphones on a 24/ month contract that could be capped) and reapply he said don't bother, at the moment he has what he needs and would rather I spent the extra money on an add on for sky to download, so we are triallingthat over Easter.

Ds isn't a loaner-he has mates, he isn't picked on for his phone or excluded-plenty if his mates have iPhones/s3 to o. Dd2 ditto.she even has a mate who doesn't have a mobile.

Oh and I dispute "it's better to get a contract".

It never is! There are lots of brilliant Sim only monthly deals without tie INS.

Caps don't necessarily work (especially if you accidentally use data or are abroad ).you are tied in paying for the duration-2 yrs now usually.there was a recent post here of a last who wanted to end her sons contract as he was being badly behaved etc, not only would he not hand the phone over but she has only the option of paying off the whole 2 yrs ....

Dd's having an iPhone for her birthday this year. I've done research, looked into the options and also researched the bullying/risk aspect. However an iPhone would nt be tht unusual here, ESP amongst younger secondary school children. We have various reasons for an iPhone too over other brands as we se app,e at home too, everything is nn same format and syncs.
We've spoken to dd about safety, etc from each aspect.

Dd has wifi access anyway do not an issue from tht pov.

Back in October did buy daughter a blackberry. have drawn up rules, no gadgets at table. hand over at 10, hour free gadget time for homework, but its a struggle getting these rules to stand fast. mentioned at school during a lesson. cant schools confisicate. its a battle and I am going to win

Another 'no' vote here.. 10 y o daughter has ultra-basic handset as prep for secondary school communicating with us /texting friends but when she's out and about I want her to be aware of her surroundings / crossing the rd safely (urban setting) and when at home, she can use the family pc...

Plus we dont' have spare budget for technology competitiveness and am determined not to be swayed by the 'they-may-feel-left-out' peer / social pressure argument.. - though having siad that she's only 10 adn I'll probably look back on this in a couple of years time and wince....

Got DS a cheap smartphone from cashconverters instead of an ipod so he can use it as a phone when he starts secondary school. have a rule of not keeping it in his bedroom overnight but he only wants it for music at the moment anyway

They're just phones, people- not the work of the devil!!!!

Why would you have to have a no phone at the table rule? Why would they even think of it?

And if they are going to get bullied or bully, they can do that perfectly well without a phone.

The only concern I would have is the "sanctuary" thing- no escape if things do go wrong. But I'm sure you will have noticed before things got tht far anyway.

XP got DD a BB for no reason - no birthday or xmas - and it had internet access that I had no idea how to regulate.
BBM messaging means strangers can contact her, and if she accepts, is able to see stuff you may not want your DD seeing.
This is what happened with me anyway, and now the phone is permanently confiscated.
The BBM thing lost me really, I had no idea what it was, but friend of hers were recommending she add other people because of the amount of PINGS they give (or something)

Definitely don't. Bbm messaging nearly cost my daughter her GCSEs. She ended up with hundreds of contacts and round the clock texts. She was utterly bereft when we finally confiscated it after we failed to get her up for school time and again. However, two years on, she says she would never have it again, that there is a dreadful pressure on teens to grow their bbm network and she finally felt controlled by it.

Oh and she got loads of those nasty chain mail things which teens are tempted to believe in.

It depends. If you are starting to let them go out for a couple of hours on their own then I would let them have one but not for every days use. This could also be good to get them used to having one all of the time.