Overweight DD

[stressedallthetime]

My DD (9.5) is overweight. Not massively but noticeably. My questions are numerous but mainly do you think this is common (not-unusual anyway) for a preteen? What do I do about it? I have spoken to her and told her that whilst not fat she is probably not an ideal weight for her height. DH thinks this was the wrong thing to do. Unfortunately she likes her food, loves school lunches (she is not allowed a packed lunch) and because I work full time have little input into her evening meal. Should I take her to the GP for a check up? She does loads of exercise, is on most of the school teams and drinks tons of water. All advice gratefully received.

Not sure about the calorific value of squash. Will she have bubbly water? My DD loves that with some elderflower cordial or a slice of lemon.
TBH, it's not likely to be the drinks that are making your DD heavy I wouldn't think.

It is actually comforting to know that I'm not the only one with this issue. I will have a word with DD about changing her lunch option to couscous etc. She has a very wide selection of things for lunch so would have thought it (or something similar) will be available. I'm not sure about juice either. I always go for the "sugar free" ones but then think about the sweetners. I might try DD with lemon juice (or lime juice) in the water, would your DD have those instead? My DD also likes red bush tea so may try her on that without milk too. She gets enough calcium from cereal, milk and fat free yogurts.

Tackle it now whilst you still have influence! My DD is 16 and is perhaps not very overweight but definitely a little round. She thinks she looks great, however, and would anyway be very curvaceous, so I'm struggling to make her see that she should try to lose a bit. I make her packed lunch every day so in theory I know what she's eating, and our evening meals are always home made and again I control the portions. However, she does no exercise. At her instigation we signed up for an expensive gym membership in January, but unless someone takes her there, she rarely goes. Grrrrrr!

This link might be useful, it gives lots of good advice, about calorie intake and types of foods. I know that if your dd eats the same foods all the time her body might not be getting certain nutrients and then she might crave unhealthy food. I am a little concerned about my dd's weight/height and also wonder if it is the start of a growth spurt/puberty.

Having a conversation about making good food choices means you don't stop eating your favourite food, just less often, in smaller portions.

I think there is too much choice, yes. You need to give the new au pair more guidance and your daughter less choice in the matter!

I have a child with slight weight issues. I don't get the pussy footing around appproach. At 10 they can understand that food gives energy, we use energy but if more energy goes in than is used the you put on weight. I don't think this will create "issues" - it is teaching them the truth! Overweight means trouble later in life so it is worth getting into good habits now to make sure we are all healthy in years to come. This is the approach I have taken as well as the following:

1% milk or at most semi skim
No overly sugary breakfast cereals
fruit at least twice a day - non negotiable
fat free yoghurts, anything else that has a lower fat option eg rice pudding then that is what they get
No free access to food cupboards
Discuss with them the school menu and plan ahead what they will be having at lunchtime and plan tea accordingly
no fizzy drinks
home baked goods so you know what has gone into it (can also use low sugar type thing)

The main tool however is the word NO! If you feel they have had enough to eat then they don't get to eat any more...

We also take the opportunity to go out walking / biking / swimming etc at all opportunities to up the exercise level (non sporty child!)

It's harsh but HTH

Is the clothes size really a good indicator?

My DD2 is 8.5 and wears age 10 to 11, but is not overweight.

Have you checked on the height/weight calculator pediatrics.about.com/cs/growthcharts2/l/bl_ibw_calc.htm

have any of you read this thread, near hysteria. Please get a grip, get your kids to eat a variety of food, get them to enjoy their food, and please stop turning food into the enemy.

Eating disorder here you come.

Eat healthily, exercise, run around, play as a family. The messages you give your kids now will be with them for life, and you only have control for a very short time.

braces - exactly - the message being that if you eat too much compared to what you burn by activity then you will put on weight. I don't beleive that this message is "making food the enemy" or will inevitably lead to eating disorders. It is fact and our children need to know this as much as they need to know how to cross the road safely or that 7x6=42

Only allow her to drink water except at restaurants/ parties
Drinks are generally nutritionally empty but calorific

What do you give your dd for her breakfast?

I agree you do have to be careful that your dd is not made to worry unnecessarily, she at a time where body issues do start (both my sister and cousin had eating disorder). What is important is that your dd understands what a healthy diet and lifestyle is and that is important to her overall health.

My dd is just 10 and has put on a lot of weight in the last year and I was worried, tell other kind mum-netters made me realise the dd had always been tiny and now her weight is more in line with her height. Her weight was about the 50th centile and now just over the 75th centile, her height is near the 95th but dropping. For the first time ever dd now fills her clothes and I've had to buy bigger clothes for her yet she hardly gone up in the last year.

It sounds as though your dd is perfectly normal. She's in age appropriate clothes and does lots of sport. Do you have issues with food that you're maybe transferring onto her? I wouldn't mention weight, I'd say healthy.

We went out for a meal with dd's friend who ate 4 tiny pieces of chicken and about 6 chips. She then went on and on about what a pig she'd been and she couldn't believe she'd eaten that much, her tummy was bulging over her waistband (she said). I was that a child that young was so concerned about the amount she ate.

I would talk about health, not about getting fat. Tell her what sugar does to her body(other than make her fat) get some good info off the web. Get lots of healthy, fun, snacks: homemade popcorn, veg sticks, etc. Put effort into making them attractive. Don't have junk in the house, then no one can give it to her.

I think that a growing child can and should have a hot school lunch and a hot dinner in the eveing. I certainly did and was never fat. If you starve her she will only eat junk. Surely it's better to have proper meals?

Please don't make your girls feel bad about their bodies at this young age.

Girls will inevitably fill out in mid to late teens when their womanly shape is established, leave it for them to decide if they want to weigh less then.