learning alphabet: DD1 aged 3.2 is just not interested

[SchrodingersSexKitten]

My DD1 is a lovely little girl who seems to me to be quite clever, based on what I see in playgroups and with other children of the same age. She speaks in long, complex sentences with subclauses and uses words like "unfortunately" and "similar" correctly. She is not a chatterbox, though. She doesn't do that running commentary that many 2 / 3 year olds do, though, she waits and then says what she wants, very precisely.

However, she is just not interested in the letters. At all. For months, my DH especially has been showing her letters (magnets on the fridge or foam letters in the bath or on signs or whatever) but she does not seem to recognise any. Not even the initial letter of her name.

Now, I am not worried but during a casual chat with some friends, I learnt that all their DCs can recognise letters and can pick out some of the letters of their name.

I want to feel like this is fine and that she will learn her letters at school in due course. She is in nursery at the moment and they are not at all learning letters; they are doing things like learning about farm animals, where does milk come from, where does wool come from, and she loves all of that and is taking it all in.

I want to leave her be and feel like nursery surely know what she should be learning, much more so than me (no experience as a teacher or with small kids other than my own).

But I do wonder if I am (a) doing the right thing leaving her to her own devices and (b) if this is a sign that she is behind her peers. I can't imagine trying to force her to leanr her letters at this age.

Maverick - thanks for the link. I am a bit confused, though, because I would never think that what I described above could fall into the category of anti-intellectualism.
Surely my very post suggests that I would be pleased if my little one was interested in learning her letters and my question regards how detrimental it will be not to teach her?
I am confused.
I will get the book you recommend and give it a go. My post speaks to the fact that thus far, all books and games concerning letters have been met with disinterest. We have tried. But I will give your book a go. My point was that surely she will learn in dur course and if not interested, what benefit in trying to force the issue now.
No tin hat required, just interested in your opinion.
BTW, as a lover of language and literature, I always try to inspire the DC to become articulate and as mentioned above, DD1 is a brilliant little talker. She says, "To whom?" and "I'm famished" which is a source of delight to me. Hence I am that you think I am buying into an anti-intellectual modern vogue.

fruitful You say :
"What the reception teachers really want are children who can do their own shoes, and coat zips, and follow instructions. Not ones who think the letter "b" is pronounced "bee" or even "buh"."
Out of interest, how is the letter b to be pronounced?

actually 'anti-intellectual modern vogue' sounds like a big ol' pile of horse shit
Does one need a tin hat for horse shit?

I would suggest that there are more children of well intentioned parents being put off reading via having "look at the b, b is for Boden and also begonia" aimed at them all day, than are being thwarted through anti-intellectual blardy blah
( mother of DS1 who is hoping to do English at Oxbridge in 18 months inspite of his brother eating his first letters box )

"There is such a cult of anti-intellectualism in the UK sad especially by the early years lobby.

Children learn best if you gently stretch them.

No, not on a rack. If a child can comfortably do a 6 piece puzzle, suggest an 8 piece puzzle. It's an achievable target. To give the child a 24 piece puzzle would be horrible. They wouldn't be able to get halfway and would leave them possibly not wanting to do any puzzle again for a while.

Some parents expect their child to go from toddler to reading in one big step. The word "Step" is important. To climb steps you start at 1, then 2,3,4 etc. You have to do the steps in order. Same with learning.(Maybe you can skip 1 step sometimes). If a child can't sit still and concentrate on one thing for more than a few seconds, how will he read a book?

When you read her a book, run your finger underneath the words. It will show her they mean something.
Show her that you're using words in everyday life.
Aliteration helps. Play games with words. Give her a Pile of Peas and Slippery Sausages with a Mountain of Mash for dinner.
Look for her initial. "Ooh, there's an M for Mungo on that sign!".(Assuming she's called Mungo).
Talk about the shapes of letters. S is a snake, O is an orange, etc. Letterland books are great for this.

And have fun. If you don't make it fun or put too much pressure on her, she won't learn as much goodly as i done.

SchrodingersSexKitten, I was not aiming my 'anti-intellectualism' post at you.

The set of Jolly Phonics board books and songs CD was purely a suggestion as you seemed keen, despite your child's lack of interest, to get her started on reading.

and remember that parents often LIE about their child

y'know - oh yes they sleep through/use cutlery/can ride their bike blah blah when in fact

they sleep til 4am/can spoon their yoghurt onto their bib/retain stabilisers

I was an ESA in a reception class last year. There was 1 little girl who I was trying to help learn her letters. She was utterly clueless - thought everything was a 'puh' no matter how many times you told her otherwise. This year however she is ready for it and has learnt all her letters verey quickly. As Maria Montessori pointed out, children have a sensitive period for learning letters and until they reach that point, there is no need to teach them. The important thing is to rocognise that sensitive period.

My DD - who is nearly 4 has only just started learning her letters - but is completely 100% self motivated.

Her plate has letters on it and she had started pointing at 'V' and could identify that it was A for her best friend Anna....well it isn't but she was making a link, and recognising the shape of an uppercase "A".

She has since found a couple of "Letterland" books in her older sisters bedroom. She picks them up and we read them together. She has learnt about half the characters in a week....but only in the same context that she has learnt who peppa pig, George pig, daddy pig etc are. We haven't really talked and made associations with the sounds they make in words. For example she still thinks Dippy Duck says "quack" as opposed to "duh". And that is fine.

The whole point of letterland is that they can associate chracters to the letters of the alphabet and then at a later date associate sounds with the characters. I think that it is a very good system for a toddler to start with as they are just chracters...but unfortunately they will probably have to move to another system (for example jolly phonics) when they go to school - so even then it is best to keep Letterland just as characters and not overdo the association with the alphabet, words and vocabulary IME.

this is the Letterland book we have

and this one.

She's much too young to worry about that. If she was 6 and still not interested and the school were telling you there was a problem, then maybe something would need done. Other than that, just let her learn as she wants, and continue being a lovely, bright girl. If she gets pushed into it, you will sour her experience of letters.

Agree, alphablocks is a good program (and I don't let mine watch TV hardly ever!). It's got cool little songs.

I wouldn't fret, I'm sure she will start to pick it up when she's ready, you really can't force these things as I have realised from dd1. She is 3.10 and has only recently taken any interest in learning letters.

She learned to write her name when she started nursery (she was 3.4) which was a big leap for her. However she was actively disinterested in trying to learn any other letters at the time-it seemed to annoy her if I tried to teach her any other letters, so I left it.

Her interest has been sparked in the last few weeks, I don't really know why, so I am going with the flow and looking at letters with her and sometimes trying to get her to read very simple words when she seems keen. Foam letters in the bath are good. But she is easily frustrated and doesn't like getting things wrong so I have to tread carefully...

Definately leave it.

Saying that I am a big fan of Jolly Phonics. it isn't learning letters as such but it is fun games and actions and songs which helps to teach sounds.

It is a more synthetic phonics friendly system than Letterland which can cause problems when starting school sometimes as children as primary schools are supposed to be using synthetic phonics now.

However it is the same principal designed to stimulate a child's imagination. I cannot imagine that either of mine would have learnt their letters from just looking at them out of context. it will just be a random shape to her which is not memorable..

OP - All you need to do at that age is:

1. Read to them lots so they develop an interest in the written word. Let them see you reading too.

Also, always write their name on their drawings and they'll start to recognise it.

IMO reading and writing is like potty training - when they're ready you'll know. Meantime don't push it.