Should I confront, or shut up and get over it?

[Pish]

It was dd's first day at pre-school today. She's started nail-biting and I specifically asked key worker to gently remind her to take fingers out of mouth periodically.

I was in the corridor maybe 7 mins early and peeked through the door. Dd had her back to me and was chewing on nails like no tomorrow. She chewed non-stop until the story ended.

I asked key worker if dd had been at her nails a lot. She replied that, no, she had not done it at all (highly unlikely). I replied that dd had been chewing throughout the last few minutes. Key worker said it was the first time that morning and only because she had seen me.

DD had not seen me. She did not turn around and does not have eyes in back of her head. Had she seen me, in any case, she'd have run over.

I am furious that key worker a) either lied, or didn't bother to notice dd biting during the session. (DD freely admits she did and her fingers are in shreds)

b) That she made that nasty, untrue and rather vindictive comment, alluding to the fact that dd must only nail-bite in my presence. Which implies that I am directly responsible for her nail-biting and that she does not need to do it if I am not around.

I am upset to the point of considering removing dd. If they are going to lie and attempt to patronise and belittle parents over the little things, what will they be like over the big things?

Am I being petty? Should I speak up? What do you think?

OP, I think that maybe by your tone you made the key-person go on the defensive.
She then said the first thing that came into her head.
I don't think she was patronosing or belittling you. In fact, you are the one who is coming over as patronising and belittling.
You are going to have to work very hard to build up a relationship with this key-person, fot your daughter's sake. It will be harder for you now, as you will have been labelled as an 'awkward parent'.

You are wrong purepurple. I doubt the care-worker even suspects that I have an issue with her. I was perfectly nice and not remotely confrontational. Neither was the key worker on the defensive. She simply chose to respond to my reasonable queries, about my child's first day, in an unreasonable manner.

If you take the nail-biting out of the equation, what it boils down to is this. It was my child's first day at pre-school. When I asked how she got on, the answer was basically "I've got no idea, but let's pretend that I do". Most of you seem to find this not only acceptable, but expected.

You are obviously involved in the pre-school environment yourself in some way and therefore feel you need to defend the incompetence of other workers. Which is scary in itself.

I meant to say thank you, Plonker
That's pretty sound advice, I think that's what I'll do.

Pish - why don't you have a word with the preschool supervisor about this. She could mention the nailbiting issue to all her staff and you could discuss with her what you want to be done about it - distracting her, reminding her etc etc. She might also have seen whether or not your dd did bite her nails yesterday. I know you know your dd best, but isn't it slightly possible that in a new environment, with loads of new stuff and new kids to divert her, that she forgot to bite her nails?

I do understand why you want this monitored - it's not just the odd bitten nail, as you said.