Can your pre-school aged child hold a pencil "properly" and write their own name?

[joshhollowayspieceofass]

I'm just asking as DD, August birthday, apparently can't whereas the majority of her class it seems (recent PT conference info), can.

She is 3.5 and I've never really pushed things at home. If she asks, I've shown her how to hold a crayon or whatever properly, but she soon reverts to her own way.

I've also never really pushed helping her to write her name, but now I'm thinking maybe I should have done?

Or, is she actually pretty much the same as most 3.5 year olds?

Her teacher also showed us some drawings she'd done and I could see that in comparison to some of the other children there was definitely much less of a "likeness" to the items they were supposed to be depicting.

Should I be doing more at home in the way of writing practice? I've always been of the opinion one shouldn't force things, particularly at such a young age. I guess this is one instance where being so young in her year is making itself quite obvious.

Yes at 2.10 and she can write her name aswell. My eldest could also do this at 2.6. However, when DD1 started school she was really bored as her reception year was just about teaching them to read and write which she could already do. I have made an effort not to teach my youngest but she has picked it up anyway!! I am definitely not going to push her until she is ready though for anything else. As a reception teacher for 5 years I certainly think it's normal for them not to be able to do this at the beg of the year, although by the end of the year you would hope they could!

my son couldn't write his name when he started reception (though the rec teacher tried to tell us he was 'behind' -bollocks, I was an early years teacher too and this isn't the case) he knew his letters, shapes, numbers to 10 and has the most amazing vocabulary (his teacher asked if he spent a lot of time in the company of adults which is teacher speak for your son can be a precocious little twerp!' )

He could dress himself, has manners, his very confident to leave me and sort his bookbag/coat/books out at school yet he was 'behind' as he couldn't write his name...

Love the logic (?)

Now he can write his name and because he knew his letter sounds and has a great vocabulary he can spell many phoneically decodable words and can write them. He has a fab pencil grip but that's due to me as the teacher seems to not correct and many of the children have appalling pencil grips (it seems to be 'hey, but they can write so let's not complain')

Also I have found that I have needed to support ds 1 in correct letter formation as school seem to concentrate on learning whole words.

ds is reception still btw (5.1)

DS2 was 4 two days ago and can write the start of his name but not quite all. We haven't pushed him to at all but he surprised me one day a few months ago by writing the first letter and saying 'look a 'J'' and when I asked could he write some of the others and some numbers he could. He's not good at pen holding though - had just been watching DS1 do homework. I found with DS1 that when he finally got into 'colouring in'his pen control improved in leaps and bounds - this wasn't til mid way throgh Reception though. I don't think he could write his name when he started Reception - can't remember now - terrible mum!

Just wanted to ask a question to mrz and purepurple - How do you avoid teaching a child who is desperate to learn to write? My dd1 is 4.1 and doesn't start reception until Sept. She has been writing her name for almost a year - but because she loves it and it's impossible to stop her. She scribbles pretend "writing" all the time as well as copying printed writing from anything ie cereal boxes at breakfast, opened post etc in a form which is legible but maybe the letters have not been formed in the way prescribed at school. I'm worried that she'll have to re-learn everything once she starts, but how do I stop her in the meantime?
In answer to the original question - 4.1 and yes she can, however if she couldn't I wouldn't be worried and some of her friends write their names, some don't - most are more co-ordinated at kicking a football though!

You can't stop a child who wants to learn to write but bad habits are hard to change so it is worth getting it right from the start.

Make sure she starts all letters (except e) from the top and curved letters are made in an anti clockwise movement. Don't use capitals except for the first letter of her name (lots of grannies teach all capitals and it causes children problems once they are in school) and good luck...

Thanks mrz - that's very helpful. Sorry for mini thread hijack!

its bonkers to expect a child this young to write. worse than bonkers, they are not ready ( apart from the odd exception) and its bad for them to be forced.

Ds (2.1) can hold a pencil properly, draw circles and lines, and attempt to "write" letters. However, he doesn't speak in sentences of more than two or three words, while some of his friends are the exact opposite.

They're all different at different ages, don't worry too much.

Hi, I really wouldn't worry - I work in a mixed Reception/Year 1 class and only a small proportion of children come into class one knowing (100%) how to write their name AND hold the pencil correctly. We start them off by using tracing paper and they just copy, then move on to independent writing in a lined book. As they're writing their name we say, for instance, j - e -n, using the letter sounds (letter names are learned later) and we watch pencil grip at the same time. It does make me mad when chilren get pushed, they are still so young! I just encourage them and praise their efforts, we all have to start somewhere! We have one little boy who is quite the perfectionist and he asked me if I had ever got anything wrong, and I (honestly) replied "yes, I have and I still do!" He was so amazed! I said that making mistakes is what makes us human - okay, he's probably a bit young to understand that fully, but he gave me such a big smile! I think the best thing you can do for a child is encourage them, praise any effort and not make them feel inadequate - they all learn at different rates!

sorry, do know how to spell "children" really!

Copying writing is one of my pet hates sorry

mrz and purepurple, i think that it is a shame to hear teachers being so negative about parents showing an interest in teaching their children to read or write (if the children are showing an interest).

Dd1 (3.2) likes 'writing' lists (curly scrawls) and has just started copying letters when we are doing drawing (usually capitals - is it ok to do this if she is not writing her name, or any words, just drawing the shape?) from alphabet books, posters, signs etc

I'm sorry you see it as negative hazeljane it is intended as supportive advice to parents. I'm the person on the other end who has to cope with children who have been taught how to form letters incorrectly. There is currently another thread on mumsnet about a child who was writing their name and numbers before school and is now struggling and I'm afraid this is often a result of teaching a different style of writing in home to school. The easiest way round the problem is finding out what style of writing the school your child will attends uses and teaching this way if your child is interested in learning.

I'm afraid you are going to see this as more negativity but teaching/learning capitals first causes huge problems in school. Curly scrawls are great...

mrz: what is the problem with learning capitals first?

Ds1 is 4.5 and in the nursery class of the school where he will be starting Reception in September. They are teaching him to hold a pencil and write his name, in amongst all the play. But they said, good things for me to do at home would be things that develop hand/muscle control - like making models with playdoh or threading beads onto string.

Although as someone said, what they really want me to teach him before he starts school, is how to dress himself and not wet himself and so on. . Think it would be easier to teach him some calculus ...

mrz: what is the problem with learning capitals first?

peasandbeans children who have been taught to write in capitals find it much harder to learn to form letters correctly once they start school. It's the same with writing styles young children find it very difficult to learn the school style of letter formation once the "pattern" of movements to form letters another way is established in the brain. It's things like most letters start at the top not the bottom and curved letters are formed with an anti clockwise movement. really it's just about making things easier for the child later.

mrz I would be very grateful if you could link me to the thread you mentioned (thanks-I am really interested in this subject!).

I think the thing is that children play and learn and want you to tell them, 'what does that say?', and 'what letter is that?', it isn't like we play with toys and then we sit and do writing. In the same way when we are drawing or painting, one minute they are painting there hands (faces, walls, clothes etc!) and one minute they are drawing a face - its all part of learning to draw, and enjoying being creative.

No he didn't/couldn't - don't even begin to worry, it's not important.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/primary/762288-Ds-in-reception-and-his-writing-seems-to-be-going

DD1 is 4.10y starts school in August and can hold a pencil correctly and write her name.

DD2 is 3.4y and can also do it, we have been told that she has very good hand/eye coordination for her age, I think it's just that she will not allow DD1 to do something she cannot.

I just allow them to scribble what they like, jusy give her crayons and paper and let her get on with it, plenty of time to "write" later on.

hazeyjane I'm not advocating teaching young children to write or preventing them from learning to write before school. All I suggest is that if your child wants to learn then don't do it in a haphazard way learning the correct way from the start saves them from struggling later.

Dd took a while to get it right, but she's 7 now. 3.5 is still way too young to be concerned.

Just for info, and for later, the ELC sell quite good pen gripper things into which you slip a pen or pencil. They were a big help. But as I say, worry about that only if you need to later.