How would you handle this.

[DontlookatmeImshy]

Ds1 had a trial session at pre-school last week. Everything seemed to go ok except me blubbling like a baby when he went in. Yes he is a PFB.
When i picked him up though, he had a pooey nappy which had obviously been there for quite sometime. I did leave nappies but no wipes/nappy bags as i was a bit flustered when I left him and it did occur to me that might be why they hadn't bothered. But anyway he has another trial next week. I am planning on leaving nappies/wipes/bags/even a travel mat so they have no excuses there.

Would you say anything beforehand or wait and see. I don't want to upset them and have them take it out on ds (yes i realise as i type this how pathetic i sound) I intend to have him toilet trained by the time he goes so pooey nappies won't be an issue. I think what i'm really concerned about is if they can leave a 2.8 year old in a pooey nappy then what else is/isn't happening that parents might not be happy about?

Ha.

I mistakenly allowed ds1's preschool keyworker to persuade me to take him out of nappies "he's three now, he must be ready"

She soon got fed up of cleaning up shit, and agreed that perhaps we had better wait until he was really ready, instead of the age she thought he ought to be ready. Believe me, I was ready for him to be trained, he wasn't capable.

colditz how old was he in the end? i think ds is going to be at least 3 before he does it.

I think the first time he was clean and dry for a week, he was 3.4.

colditz - I'm sure there are cases like yours and I would hope that any responsible pre-school practitioners would take the parents experience into account - in our case we had 2 families under SS review because of learning difficulties in the parents so the pre-schoolhad to take the lead.
And whilst I agree that staffing levels and crappy EYEFS are not specifically your problem, quite a lot of pre-schools (including mine) only survive because of the huge number of hours that parent volunteers put into running them. We run form a portacabin, which does not have an inch of spare space to enable us to do lying down nappy changes. We don't even have room to have doors on the kids toilets - we have shower curtains that pull across instead. We could not cope with a child that was not in pull-ups, or with a child with physical disabilities. And if we were to be forced to be accessible and non discriminatory I'm afraid we would probably just close, leaving the parents of the village to drive 4 miles to the nearest non voluntary committee run pre-school.

prufrock - are you not allowed to just lie them down on the floor and change them?

DS1 was going to attend a pre-school with a bad attitude to him not being potty trained. They said they didn't have the facilities and insisted i had him trained by christmas.
We tried and tried but he had no clue.
To be honest their attitude about it proved to me they had no clue about children.
He wasn't ready.
So i found a great nursery that was very relaxed about it. They just said that he didn't need to be potty trained and they would help him when he was ready.
And what do you know? he was dry after two weeks of starting there.
For him, a militant approach to potty training was never going to work.
I would seriously consider your other pre-school options if I were you.

The preschool my ds is going to is happy to have them in nappies or pullups, but will only change a wet nappy. If he poos in his nappy they will call me to change him.
Same goes for the nursery dd attends. THey will deal with wet nappies but not dirty ones. They will also call parents to come and change the child.

nappy - where? The only open floorspace in the classroom is the carpet, which is usually full of children playing, and I'm sure Ofsted would take that as an affront to the child's dignity. The front door opens directly onto the 2 existing shower curtain covered toilets and there is literally 3 foot of space in front of them, which is where kids wash their hands. It just isn't possible. Crap I know but that is the reality of many voluntary run pre-schools. We need more space and a new building, but we want to stay on the school site, which is in a conservation area, so planning are insisting on a proper building, which will cost £100k minimum. In 4 years we've raised £30k, and we've been turned down for funding from elsewhere because we are relatively quite well off!
This is the reality of many rural pre-schools, they wouldn't exist without the hundreds of hours put in by parent volunteers. And there is only so much we can do. Yesit would be lovely if we could provide a non discriminatory service, but it's difficult enough to provide the service we do.

oh i didn't know you had to change their nappies in a separate room for dignity reasons. i assumed you could just put a changing mat in the corner of a room somewhere and do it there.

Well we got lucky, the day after i went over to the pre-school over the road and put his name down there. I specifically asked about nappies etc, they are the ones who told me about it being discrimination, and went on to apologise but it would "just be a mat on the floor, we don't have proper changing facilities". Well thats all he gets at home! Anyway they made me feel really welcome, let us stay for a while to watch, the staff and the whole atmosphere seemed much nicer. We were told he probably wouldn't get in this year as they'd just done their intake, but a couple of days ago i got a phone call to say some people had dropped out and would i still like a place. So he has a trial there this week, parents are welcome to stay, - wasn't made at all welcome at the other one.
So if all goes well, he'll be going there instead, and i can stop fretting about it.

good luck

well done. you've done the right thing.

It went well The whole visit just confirmed all my reservations about the first place. Feel much happier now.

Unless a child is known for spinning tales then one member of staff (not a student or parent volunteer) is fine for nappy changes cos they will have been crb checked.

Also they cannot leave a child in a soiled nappy whilst they ring you and wait for you to come. It is seen as a form of abuse. They have to change them.

Not having a seperate changing area is also not a reason to refuse to change a nappy. They can do it in the sink area of the toilet on a changing mat if there is no other facility.