Non English Speaker Difficulty in preschool

[nadiabr]

Our 3 year old son just started Christian preschool 2 times a week for 3 hours. When we enrolled him, we asked about him not speaking English and the director assured that they learn through play. After 10 weeks of going so approximately 50 hours that he spent there they requested a meeting and told us that he does not do circle time, covers his ears when too loud and gets into other children faces.We said that it is most likely because he gets frustrated when nobody understands him but they blew it off and suggested for him to get pediatric assessment. Upon vising the school and witnessing his behavior in my own eyes I am confused. He does play outside, he tries to grab toys from other children but it looks like nobody at this age shares. When came circle time he refused to do it and was hiding in a quiet corner.He kept saying that he is tired and hungry. The teacher did circle time 2 times around 10 minutes. He did the craft fine with no help and then played with other children. So my question is is this school just does not want to deal with him and want us gone or he does have issues? Should we just suggest them to drop circle time for him? The teacher seems to be very strict and wants them all in a circle.

Well yes, but our education system is different. Children are much the same the world over but it’s hard to advise where to take this next.

I would try to find a state run school as they will have more experience. Don’t start thinking about diagnosing anything yet but keep it in mind.

This.

The covering ears and not respecting other children personal space is suggestive of sensory issues possibly associated with neurodiversity. If he has limited English , circle-time is a useful activity to listen and improve language skills

and this

You don't understand autism. It doesn't mean a child can't have friends or play with other children, it means they have communication difficulties so they do things like 'get in other children's faces'. Covering his ears in assembly was the main thing that got my DS assessed for ASD, it is a very typical trait.
I certainly wouldn't rule it out, preschools often have some experience with ND children. He's still young so if you're uncomfortable with the idea you can just give it time and see how he goes - keep in mind though that the wait for assessment can be very long.

and this.

Your post at 20:46 shows your lack of understanding. It really isn't a ridiculous suggestion, given your description. Obviously none of us will know purely from what you have said on here, but the information you have given, certainly suggests their conversation with you is NOT ridiculous.

As a pp said, they deal with many, many children year after year. You are only aware of what your child can or can't do, not so much what is typical and what isn't.

Can you possibly elaborate how it is done in the UK, are children required circle time? Here private daycares can kick your child out for any reason like being a runner or crying all day when separated.

Yes UK pre-schools do circle time, some free play and some guided activities. 3 yo qualify for 15 hours a week funded education which can be used at standalone preschools, daycare nurseries, childminder, preschools attached to schools and so on.

How would that knowledge help your situation?

Many places do require circle time for stories. As a rule children at 3 are able to do this.

It will help to see from other perspectives and educational standards. lets say if an active child required to sit in circle and they put them forcefully into one or they let the child do their own thing?

They would be expected to join in. It is distracting for the others if one child wanders away. Sometimes they may be offered a wobble cushion or fidget toy to help them focus. There are struct ratios of adult to child . Some UK preschools have uniforms.

I think you are not really focusing on the right thing.

Whether or not a particular pre-school in the UK does or doesn't do something isn't as important as what you do with the information that the staff at your dc's pre-school have shared with you about his needs.

After 10 weeks of going so approximately 50 hours that he spent there they requested a meeting and told us that he does not do circle time, covers his ears when too loud and gets into other children faces.

...... suggested for him to get pediatric assessment.

When came circle time he refused to do it and was hiding in a quiet corner.

These are things that would benefit further assessment.
What are you going to do with the information, now it has been brought to your attention that, in the opinion of experienced Early years professionals, your ds is far enough away from the typical expectations of others his age to warrant them having a difficult conversation with a parent and suggestion to you that you get it investigated ?

Yes, I work with 2-4 and we have 'carpet time' from 3 years old. It's important to train them to sit and listen as in the UK they start school at 4, when these kind of sessions are longer and more frequent - so we like to get them used to it. They will usually sing, have stories and talk about topics like family, festivals (Diwali is this week), seasons, senses etc. Often children with ESL (English as a Second Language) find carpet time harder but we still endured them to be there for the year before they start school. They usually start by learning songs and actions, stories are harder.

We have children whose parents can be resistant to the possibility their child may be neuro diverse. Other parents are pushing for diagnosis because the child is challenging for them! We are very used to non English speakers, so when we see a child struggling in a way which isn't 'typical' then we would have a concern. We cannot diagnose but we can suggest an 'expert' comes to observe the child and they will then recommend whether to pursue a diagnosis. It's a long process so the earlier it starts the better. I'm not sure how it works in the US but some concerns may be dismissed by an expert, or they may suggest looking into it further. You have nothing to lose at all.

Thank you all for answering.

Wonder how it’s been going for you since October? I googled the topic because my son is 4 now, been at nursery for 2 years but inconsistently due to frequent sicknesses, and he’s about to start reception in September.. he’s still really resistant to picking up English (even though very eloquent in his first language).. barely speaks anything apart from “hello, see you tomorrow, this is mine, this is not yours, I’m ok”. Everyone keeps saying he’ll pick it up don’t worry, but it’s been causing him massive meltdowns (not I understand that a lot of it is because of language, as when we went to our home country and he spoke his mother tongue, he’s had almost no meltdowns and got much better in general). Getting into people’s faces is smth my son does all the time actually, and he hated circle time initially. Was much better off being outdoors and doing sensory crafts.. and yes, we had a preliminary paediatric assessment and they confirmed that he has clear signs of hyperactivity, but also ASD, which was a surprise to me.. we are now waiting on a formal assessment which takes months. Being able to do the crafts well doesn’t mean your son doesn’t have ASD, as it can be just “soft signs” of ASD - as we were told.. (my son is super chatty and loves talking to people, which is why I never suspected ASD; but then indeed - he’s not very good at hearing what other kids are telling him, or understanding when someone says no to him..) I’m rather worried about school tbh, even though schools said - don’t worry.. but I bet it’ll be a hard ride initially. Wonder if he can get language therapy at school.. so far nobody offered it though..

You clearly speak English very well. But, it’s obviously not the language you speak at home.

I don’t know why you didn’t prepare him for an English speaking nursery.

And i don’t want to upset you but your son does sound neuro diverse, bless him.
Autism isn’t just the stuff you see on the telly.

My son’s own nursery teachers flagged up similar behaviour to me, and he has since had a formal diagnosis of ASD.

All the best for you both.

You clearly speak English very well. But, it’s obviously not the language you speak at home.

I don’t know why you didn’t prepare him for an English speaking nursery.

And i don’t want to upset you but your son does sound neuro diverse, bless him.
Autism isn’t just the stuff you see on the telly.

My son’s own nursery teachers flagged up similar behaviour to me, and he has since had a formal diagnosis of ASD.

All the best for you both.