PreSchool “preparer”

[highexpectations]

We went to a parents evening at the preschool DD will attend in September (London school, oversubscribed, nonselective...) and was amazed that at least four of the parents there had used a preschool preparer (I don’t know what else to call her!) for a few hours a week for the last year to ensure their children could read, count, add, etc. before they went to school.

I found this out because I was asked whether DD could read etc. (she can) and was then asked whether I had used Mrs X.

What is the title of these people? I’ve been googling and can’t find this woman’s name anywhere so I presume her services are found via word of mouth.

It is actually named as one of the best school in the country. It is the parents pushing for this, not the school. I don’t know the schools take on it, I shall ack!

When my DCs started school they only knew a few letters/ sounds which they had learned at nursery.
I prepared them for school myself by teaching them to wipe their bottom properly and to carry a tray of food for school dinner time.
Both are now Working Above the Expected Level in Reading and Arse Wiping.

Yes, all they really need to know is how to go to the toilet independently, and how to get changed/put their coats on. I now work in a preschool and we make it a priority to teach the older group how to put on their own coats. There are still kids in reception who just hand their coats over to an adult, because that's what they're used to. wonder if those kids can read, though?!

I wish my 6-year-old was achieving highly in arse wiping

This is a load of bullshit. Why on earth would you send your child to a school that sets nursery children? You all sound as dreadful as each other, boasting about your children's reading prowess at a meeting. No wonder self harm and eating disorders are rising relentlessly among children.

They set them because some can read and others can’t. It is why we chose the school for DD because others said she would have to wait for the rest of the class to catch up.

"They set them because some can read and others can’t"

And then the parents make sure they can read because the school is settign them. (sigh)

unlimiteddilutingjuice Yes, that will be what happens.

But I don’t mind because at least DD will have children to work with who are at her level. This has been a problem at nursery. I mean she can read a dice and count to play snakes and ladders etc but most others couldn’t do she had to play with a TA!

Your posts are actually beyond parody.

It does sound like a good fit for your DD highexpectations.
I think she will probably be the exception though.
How sad for the kid who joins the school not reading (reasonably enough for a 4 year old) and is made to feel lessor from the outset by being placed in a lower set.
How sad for the kid who gets pushed to learn to read by a tutor when they would be better building foundational skills (talking, telling stories, gross and fine motor movements) that will allow them to pick up reading and writing more easily later on.

So instead of playing with her peers and learning age appropriate social skills with children of her own age, she has to play snakes and ladders with an adult?

Oh, erm, ok ourkidmolly

If anyone is interested in why setting is a terrible idea...I would recommend reading "Clever lands" by Lucy Crehan.
I'm about half way through and its really fascinating.

That's actually really sad. In the countries with the best education systems in the world, children often don't learn to read until 7. Let children be children! It's not a race and all this type of hyper-competitive parenting does is increase the chances of children loathing learning as they've been pushed constantly since 2 or 3 years of age.

We really need to wake up to how issues like this are contributing to a mental health epidemic amongst our young.

Yes lola which is why she’s not staying on at that school for Reception!

I’m hoping it is a good fit unlimited. As I mentioned upthread, I have learned that some children just want to learn, not pushed or cajoled or bribed, they just want to learn. It’s not always down to parents.

Fair enough OP: I accept you’re a name changer rather than yet another ghastly purveyor of gradgrindian services to hysterical London parents of infants trying to flaunt their wares by the backdoor.

The point is this: mumsnet is unusually full of parents of tiny children who “live to learn”, and need special educational setups to help them deal with their devastating brilliance at foundation-stage literacy and numeracy, and then it all seems to shake down and even out through primary as the high-aptitude children overtake the highly coached, and by the time you get to the secondary education boards there just aren’t the posts about how little Johnny should skip Y7 and go straight into Y8 as the other children are just too basic.

So I’m quite cynical about these sorts of posts, and I apologise for the biscuit in my first response. But don’t dismiss posts from others, who have a slightly broader perspective on the educational pushiness: it comes from having seen these children go through the educational system and come out the other end.

Of course it’s essential to support and nurture children’s educational potential, but there is a point at which there is more harm done, than good, when it comes to educational coaching out of school. The things children learn that have nothing to do with literacy and numeracy are most important for a healthy, happy and productive life, and I feel very sorry for the generations of London children that are burned out by the time they leave school, from vicarious parental perceptions of success.

bluebell DD is a natural all rounder. She is a child and the cliche “let them be children” does not apply as she is equally happy playing Cinderella (as she is right this minute) as she is reading Cinderella.

There are naturally bright children who have a natural love and enthusiasm for learning. DD is one of them and I’m not going to deter her!

I agree that there are pushy parents but the ones I spoke to (who employed the tutor) children can all now read and still seem to have magical (quite privileged) childhoods.

Korg

My DS also has this "natural love" for learning, but we fulfil it through play, not through hiring pre-school tutors

bluebell1981 That may be what she does though. In fact can’t imagine any other way of engaging a child of that age! If parents are working and child minder/nanny/nursery don’t do it, I can see the point.

This is why I’m trying to google the woman, to see what it is all about. But she doesn’t exist on the internet!