does nursery help / hamper development?

[rhythm12]

Does anyone with a developmentally 'forward' baby have experience of how nursery has helped / hampered their development?

At the moment I'm looking at putting my 10 month old into a nursery full time, I would be doing long hours and only really seeing her at the weekend. Not ideal, but I'm a lone parent and don't have a lot of choice.

So far she's doing pretty well development wise for her age. For example, she can identify the colour red, turn pages in books, sit and carefully study the pages, sit through long books (paddington, grimm's fairytales for example), make all the noises as we go through a book like 'Peace at Last', kiss the characters on a page if they are upset and always asks for more stories. Her vocabulary is already pretty good - she can say about 10 words. I started to teach her phonics, numbers and colours to see how she would get on and she's really obviously enjoying it. She can identify some objects, body parts. She's also moving around fast, a good climber and very interested socially. She's a very happy, mischievous, 'easy' baby unless she feels she's not learning something quickly enough, or I don't give her something she wants quickly enough - then she has a very quick temper :)

When I've been to look at nurseries I've got worried. They just seem like holding pens for babies? Some have seemed better than others but none have really left me with the impression that she will be progressing as fast there. They might sing a few songs at certain times of day but otherwise as long as the children aren't hurt, they are almost left to their own devices, is the impression I got? At one in particular I explained about the books we read and how much she enjoys them and a girl in the room started questioning me in quite a hostile way, as if I was either making it up or a parent who thinks their child is somehow a genius, which I'm not. At that nursery the only books they even have in the room for that age group are very basic picture books.

I know that a childminder could be an alternative, but I've seen a local childminder drag a girl in her care across the library pulling her arm, saying 'you little...' which was just horrible and it put me off childminders tbh.

Has anyone got advice - is it about finding a really top notch nursery, or asking them to do specific activities with her, or am I worrying about nothing? Have you found that going to nursery full time at this age has changed your baby's pace of development and/or general mood, for better or worse?

scarlettsmummy2
I don't think that the OP is in anyway harmful to her child. Maybe a ten month old baby can learn to recongise a few shapes or objects. Its not really learning to read as such as the child does not have the cognitive understanding to blend letter sounds into words.

My son tried to teach his newborn sister phonics. As far as she was concerned it was a glorfied game of peek a poo. She enjoyed all the jolly phonics hand actions and lots of attention from big brother. She hasn't come to any harm inspite of her brothers "attempts" to teach her phonics. I doult rhythm12's baby will be harmed in anyway. Language and interaction is always good for babies.

Lots of us did slightly odd dotty things with our precious first born which were a total waste of time. Its amazing how robust our children are.

I think it's not possible to discern whether the OP is overly focussed on learning to the detriment of her child from the little information offered here. I think that this just boils down to personal choice as to how we interact with our children.

OP, you might like to investigate Reggio Emilia inspired nurseries as you might find their approach to learning something that you can get on board with.

Hoqvcan a baby learn phonics before they have even learnt to speak?
Serious question

In her OP, rhythm12 says that her DD has 10 plus words already so I suppose you could say she is talking.

I know nothing about phonics having grown up before it became apparently compulsory. I learnt to read (at home) before I was 4 without phonics, so I'm not worried about whether my DS learns them or not. I think early readers will learn for themselves without needing to be specifically taught (phonics or anything else). Assuming they are exposed to language, books, and have engaged and attentive parents.

It's a good question but very complex. For starters, what are you comparing the nursery experience with. My DS seems to have learned a lot at his nursery (in an all round sense, I'm talking physical and social skills - including awareness that he is not the only child around - as well as the rest). Would he have done better with Mary Poppins? Probably. But she isn't always an option. Would he have done better with me, after a fractured five hours sleep, frustrated, trying to juggle work... No way. I have been pleasantly surprised by what nursery can offer - a good one is so much more than keeping kids in a pen... Seriously.

I don't believe OP is overly focused on learning. My LO was similar (now 2.1) and was really into books and numbers and letters at that age. It was never forced; he had free access to books which he would ask us to read. We were given some foam numbers for the bath which he quickly picked up the names for etc.

He goes to nursery 2 days a week and his time there is very different to his time with me (his nanny) so he gets different things from it. As a PP said, he's learned that he can't be the centre of attention all the time, he comes home singing lots of songs I don't know, he's learned things from older toddlers that I've desperately tried to teach him without success.

Yes, sometimes I feel they don't always notice the achivements we see at home (took them months to discover he knew letters. I think they must have thought it was wishful thinking on our part) but he gets so much else from it that I'm not complaining.

A good nursery will pick up on each child's interests and skills and work with them to develop them. But they will do this through play, through stories and songs and painting and colouring and running around outside. As will a good nanny.

If you're not comfortable with the nurseries or childminders in your area a nanny does sound like it would suit you but a nursery that reads long story books to and encourages phonics in under 2s as standard? Sounds more like a hot house!

I think nursery has really helped my daughters development. She started at 11 months and does three days a week. She has started walking since, has started using a fork or spoon to feed herself, has picked up words and most of all enjoys being there. The nursery fill in a learning journey showing what she has done and what area they are going to work on next. They do messy play, sand and water play, collage and I think watching the older toddlers has really helped her.
My friend has a fantastic childminder as her first child didn't get on at nursery. I think it is just a case of finding the right Childcare and you can still enjoy books together when you are at home.