What kind of things can your three year old do?

[scarlettsmummy2]

My three and a half year old daughter is due to start in a pre prep class in August at a fairly academic independent school. I am now in a bit of a panic that she won't be able to keep up with her peers!

At the minute she can speak competently and hold a full conversation, she can do fifty piece puzzles on her own, appears to have decent physical co ordination and can count up to ten- but not backwards. She can't write her name yet. Has anyone any other suggestions of things I could maybe encourage her to do? We have been playing snakes and ladders over the last couple of days but she can't focus for long!

Thanks

Be careful on teaching her how to write many academic pre-prep do cursive (joined up) writing from the start and most workbooks you get don't do cursive writing.

Do jolly phonics stuff, so she can recognise her letter sounds.

She needs to learn how to write her name over the summer.

Chestnut- you could be right about the joined up writing- I did see something about that at the open day. We are going to a little welcome party on the 20th so will check then and see what else the teacher suggests. Thanks.

Passe, it's as much about personal experience and anecdote as it is about stats. And please don't feel you've wasted your time - he's your son and it's your decision!

I taught Y6 and IME not one child who didn't have SEN and had interested parents arrived with me without being able to read and write competently. And they came into school with widely varying ability.

Also, from my knowledge of Scandanvian countries, they start formal learning at about 7 or 8 and by 9 are beating us hands down in reading and writing. All their early learning is experiential and verbal. "Learning through play".

From my own experience, I was an exceptionally bright four year old - could read and write fluently by the time I started school and was top of the class througout my primary education. By secondary many of my peers had caught up and although I did well at A levels and degree, it was nothing outstanding.

Finally, my little boy is four next week - his early childhood has gone so fast and I don't want to waste (my opinion) one moment of that teaching him to read and write when I could be outside digging for worms, cycling, looking at flowers, bundling with his buddies, etc. He will have at least 14 years of formal education, and his Foundation teachers are trained to teach him. I read with him every day and he will learn to read and write, just not yet .

This is all my opinion though and others make their own decisions. The only time I get is when parents try and bribe or cajole their children to learn early - then it ceases to be about the child "desperate" to learn and becomes about the parent "desperate" to boast.

HTH .

Chestnut, most state schools do cursive writing from the start - it's not exclusive to academic preps .

something you may enjoy doing with your dd is storycubes My ds is older at 4.8 but they are excellent for encouraging imagination. You shake the 9 dice (which have pictures not numbers) and then make up a story with the resulting pictures.
I would encourage drawing if she likes to do it as it will help with fine motor skills, if you want to encourage learning the alphabet maybe you could buy a scrapbook or two and you and her could find pictures and do drawings that relate to each letter (eg a is for apple, anchor, ant, b is for batman, balloon etc) which is much more fun than just sitting with an alphabet book, it can relate to things she is interested in.
Other than that can she dress herself including coats, buttons and socks, wipe herself after the toilet, use a knife and fork?
The most important thing is to keep it fun and interesting as otherwise you could really switch her off if you push too hard academically from such a young age.

The scrapbook idea sounds great! As do the story cubes. We will have a look for those today.

She has been able to dress herself for ages, makes and attempt at personal hygiene and can use a fork competently, still struggles a bit with a knife- but can hold one. She knows lots of nursery rhymes and can mAke toast.

If you don't want to teach little scarlett to write then working on pen control is helpful. I have got a pre handwriting book from Tescos that my dd loves. It practices drawing patterns to learn how to control the pencil.

I also used [http://www.ldalearning.com/product/ACMT01082] with my son about five years ago. It has gone up a lot in price and prehaps there are other similar books which are a lot cheaper. It is also a book aimed at special needs children rather than three year olds.

My ds is coming to the end of his year at nursery/pre prep. He had never been to nursery before and I felt he was held back a bit by having 2 younger siblings but he has done so well. They have focused on writing/holding pencil properly and he struggles a bit but he's one of the youngest in the class and they are grouped by age so he manages the same as the others in his group.

From my point of view, he's at nursery to learn all those things so I didn't want to push him too much at home because I'm aware he's going to have to be pushed a lot when he starts big school in September.

If she won't sit still why not use that to your advantage? Get some foam letters/numbers and hide them around the garden/house, then do a treasure hunt. She'll quickly pick up the names and sounds by you saying "well done you've found the a", or "I think I see a 3 over there." There are lots of ways of learning that don't require children to sit still. You just have to be inventive.

Leave the sitting down to nursery and school.

DS starts proper school in September & can't speak clearly or do a 50 piece puzzle (never mind alphabet or counting to 20).

He can write his name quite legibly backwards, though :).

I would suggest duplo and orchard games ( not employed by them) they will teach sharing, turn taking, loosing, winning, sitting down. They all have a theme so numbers, letters, observation etc. we love them.
The duplo will teach imagination and co-ordination it really works fine motor skills.

In answer to your q my 3.5 can just read some cvc words, count and subtract very basic up to ten, knows most of her alphabet ( bdpq still confusing) a bit of writing. However she loves all that and preschool have taught her that.

I have taught her to ride a bike, walk miles, grow in the garden, walk in the woods, dig for bugs, dress etc.

Don't worry about the school stuff that's what they do. Forcing the issue may turn him off learning.
Teach concentration through play, it gives them the ability to learn more.

Thanks everyone! Great ideas. We got some alphabet snap today and she has enjoyed playing that! I think she would also love a treasure hunt so will give that a go too!

Alphablocks on cbeebies is fab too.

Would second the foam letters for the bath.

Tbh I would not do much with her really but maybe get her to be able to recognise her own name if it's needed for her peg or something.

Also my DD is coming to the end of her nursery year but they were expected to find a card with their name on and hang it up (for the register).

Forgot to say in learning the letters once I was pretty sure she could say them all then I used a tin and we had a little race, who could be the first to find a certain letter and put it in the tin. She loved doing that and still wants to do it now, it is a good way to teach them the vowels too (although that comes much later, so don't worry about that now!!)

Can she put on her own coat and do up a zip?
Put shoes on and off unassisted?
Pull her own trousers/skirt and pants/tights up and down on her own, as well as wiping her own bottom and washing her hands independently?
What about buttons?
Can she share toys and take turns?
Does she understand that sometimes she must wait for what she wants and know what the word no means?

These skills are much more important in terms of nursery/school readiness than anything academic.

If you want to help her co-ordination and ultimately handwriting, then things like being able to balance well, learning to throw and catch balls and playing with beads (e.g. Hama beads) or other v small fiddly objects will actually all help. School will teach her to read and write if she does not learn it beforehand at home. They will be most grateful if you have taught her social skills and other basic self-care, rather than them having to do this too.

Learning to colour neatly between lines is great for pencil control, which is the precursor to writing.

Also, if you're going to teach her the alphabet, read up about phonics first so that you teach her the correct letter sounds, and not the letter names (a, not ay, buh, not bee, mmmmm, not muh or em etc). Use lowercase letters, not capitals.

Nursery rhymes are great for re-inforcing numeracy. Lots of childhood songs have counting backwards in them, e.g. 10 green bottles.

The more fun it is, the more likely she is to engage. Avoid standing over her trying to force her to do 'academic' work, or you will be setting yourself up for years of battles over homework

I have been a nanny for over twenty years. I think children should learn through play not sat down with pens and books let them be kids and play.

You might have a bright child at three doesn't mean she will stay bright everyone catches up.

Teach the basics, good manners, good table manners' and how to go to the toilet independently, and how to dress themselves.

I back up the suggestions about leaving the academics to the school. My DS1 started a very academic prep when he was 3 (now 9) and knew nothing (really - nothing, couldn't even count up to 10), I was horrified at how many kids starting knew numbers, sounds, had started to read and write, and even a couple who were being force fed times tables , all I could offer was good social and personal skills. By the end of Reception he was in the top groups for everything [which we thought a tad ironic]. It has worked for my other two as well. In conclusion, there is no proof that you are helping them much at all!!! Go jump in muddy puddles

I would definitely concentrate on things such as being able to use cutlery and get dressed/undressed properly.

If you are going to teach her the alphabet make sure it is phonics and not just letter names. Unless she is able to write properly I wouldn't worry with more than just her name as it drives the teachers mad if children are not taught properly (and don't teach her in all capitals as that can also be a nightmare for teachers). My DN learnt to write in capitals before school and at 7 still puts capital letters in the middle of words.

I've always believed that Pre-schooler's are better off learning through play and remember a conversation with the Head Master of a village school around about the time children first started going to school at four. He said that too many children came into school able to count to ten and write their names but with no social skills and he wished parent's would concentrate on teaching these and leave the counting, reading and writing to the school.

I have been a nanny for 30 years and agree with redglow and conors that there are far more important things to concentrate on with children this young.

The Scandinavian system is the one I would advocate, but this country just seem's to want to push children into formal learning at a younger and younger age

I am a bit sceptical about the 'learning through play' method. I personally think brighter children may get a bit bored with it, but I don't know a huge amount about it. Is a lot of it free play or is there some structure?

Learning through play suggests that you don't just sit down to read, write, listen to facts then repeat them....you explore new ideas and take one idea then expand it to learn all sorts of other things. It's a better learning style in my opinion because it encourages the child to think about and around ideas.
3yr olds play, that's what they do but they are also learning a huge amount through exploring and playing - as they did when they were a baby. Role play is a particularly important way for children to process new information. Have you ever noticed your 3yr old acting out certain situations/conversations/experiences with toys? That's their brain processing the information they have just learnt by figuring it out physically.

Can't find the paper, but recently read some research about pushing children too much too soon has a negative effect on their learning long term. Can stand to be corrected, but the paper was very sound...will try to find and link.

Suspect this is why many European countries, australia etc don't start formal schooling till 6.

Children learn to speak from being talked to...same with other things.

Thanks, will have to reAd up on it a bit more. Scarlett acts out scenarios with her dollies regularly- it is very amusing at times! Especially when they are being naughty!