Health Visitor not taking any notice that baby was premature

[Tallulahs09]

Hi,

So my son was born at 32 weeks, it will be 8 weeks this week since he was born. His due date was on Friday just gone.

Health visitor came out on Thursday last week and she said she's not happy because when she pulls him up by his arms his head is lagging behind. She said a he's a 7 week old baby and that shouldn't be happening. I told her he was premature so with his corrected age he isn't anywhere near 7 weeks old as we are only just at his due date. She then said that is irrelevant and he should still be doing everything a 7 week old baby would do and she would be expecting him to start smiling any time now too. She is coming back in 4 weeks and said she will refer him to the paediatrics then. He is already under the paediatrics anyways and has an appointment booked in a few weeks time.

Surely she is wrong though? Because when he left neonatal they said not to expect the milestones using dates he was born but instead use the corrected age?

She's wrong and needs retraining. This could cause a new mother PND or anxiety. Change to a different one as she will be no help to you at all. Could you write to her manager so she can be trained?

She is wrong - and she absolutely should not be pulling him up by his arms!

The only thing that doesn’t go according to corrected age is weaning IIRC. I think it’s because they start using up nutrients from being in the womb starting from when they are born, so time when they may start to need food is based on actual age not corrected. But it’s very flexible depending on how your baby is doing.

My 24 weeker was adjusted until she was 2 years old. It’s nonsense to suggest that a 7 week preemie would be doing the same as a 7 week baby born at term. I was allocated to an HV who was sensitive to preemie issues, perhaps you could ask if there is someone in the team more experienced with premature babies. Bad advice can be damaging to confidence and sometimes outright by dangerous.

My 31 week baby smiled at 16wks.

She could lift her head by her due date and was sleeping through 11pm-6am at that point but everyone commented on how unusual that was.

Correct about corrected for everything except weaning.

I was annoyed how they were obsessed with her weight catching up.

They gave her special milk, nutriprem. I asked about it, apparently it's higher calories.

Anyway, she's 7 now. 30kg. 120cm.

She's overweight.

I’d echo what previous posters have said and would strongly encourage you to write an email to her/her supervisor otherwise she’ll keep peddling this nonsense.

Really helpful link from Tommy’s which deal with developmental milestones

“ Early babies are given time to catch up
If your baby is born prematurely, their milestones will be assessed from the time of their due date, not from when they were actually born. By the age of two, their development will often even out with their peers, and you can use their actual birth date instead. In very premature babies, sometimes this is extended to three years of age.”

"Today 10:32user1493413286

I had similar with my 32 week baby; at her 6 week check she wasn’t doing everything a full term 6 week baby would as she wasn’t even at her due date and I felt quite upset after."
Oh you poor thing. This is when her peers would still have been in the womb! Even I can see the ridiculousness.

@Tallulahs09 this is exactly my experience, very few HVs are trained or knowledgeable about premature babies.

She is wrong.

Please don't question yourself or feel upset at yourself - but I would complain. As others have suggested, this lack of training and giving incorrect advice to new mums of premature babies is incompetent at best, dangerous at worst.

My HV shouted at me at a weigh in clinic (in front of other mums) that I'd irrevocably damaged my babies' digestive systems by weaning too early (actual age not corrected) despite being told by the consultant to do so. She had absolutely no idea. That was one of a string of issues I had with my HV - I ended up making a formal complaint and actually got a letter from the Trust saying they were reviewing premature training across the Trust for HVs.

She is wrong and try to complain if you can. The most important part of her role is being connected to parents so they can reach back for support. She is beyond shit at that too. You do r need to see her again.

Don’t need to !

If you search her name on the nmc you can reassure yourself that she's medically trained as a health visitor rather than an assistant who often haven't done 3 years of adult nursing and then the specialised training on top.
Then telephone her office and ask to speak to her manager. State you are concerned she is giving information to vulnerable women that is not evidence based and explain what she said.
Suggest training and request no further health visitors and liaise directly with GP.

We had the same with our HV. DS was 5 weeks premature, but HV kept pestering us about feeding him more etc as he wasn't in the right weight range according to age (which she based on actual birth date rather than expected). DS was only 5lbs when born, so started off underweight, but was about 8 or 9 lbs on his due date, so probably not far from where he should have been. But HV was having none of that, and she kept pressuring us to feed him more, wake him up for feeds, etc. After a couple of months of that, he'd put on so much weight he was higher than his healthy weight range. Then HV told us off for over-feeding him! Same with the other "milestones" - he was a month or two behind the other milestones too, if you based it on birth date (which HV always did) rather than expected due date. It caused us (and DS) a lot of unnecessary stress.

I had a 32 weeker and they adjusted until he was two. Your health visitor is wrong.

She’s a twit, I was fortunate that my HV experience was good but I was fully prepared to tell them to sod off if they were unhelpful. They are entirely optional.

Your HV needs reporting. The crap ones need weeding out.

I opted out of HV appointments for DC3.

After DC1 & 2 I realised that it wasn’t obligatory to see them so didn’t. Mine was ridiculous, although I know some are fabulous.

I took her for her immunisations & 8 week check with a Dr, her sight test, hearing test etc. Just declined HV appointments.

I complained about my HV and asked for a different one after she told me vaccines could cause autism. There's just no excuse for shit like that.

My advice is not to expect anything from the NHS. They dont care or are just terrible at their job. The global guidlines for premature babies is for a pediatrician to check on them every month until they reach 2 years old. Since NHS does not care we hired a private pediatrician from Argentina, that charges £25 per month. He has been amazing and is always spot on in all problems we have encountered.

Dad please don't lump the whole NHS together as 'useless' and uncaring - it simply isn't true. OP's Health Visitor may be useless but the vast majority of the NHS is staffed by highly effective and dedicated staff. They saved my ds's life when he was born and I had excellent support from the Paediatric Team.
OP, previous posters have said, but I'll say again, your HV is wrong - they should be correcting until at least age 1 - my ds was prem (31 weeks) and at 8 weeks old was barely awake! I kept a careful but not obsessive eye on developmental milestones and sure enough he had caught up by 14 months (allowing for individual characteristics e.g. ds would not attempt walking until he could do it more or less competently).
Have you got a supportive GP? I was lucky to have a very good female GP who had also not long given birth and she was completely sensible and suggested I opt out of HV.

There are 2 type of NHS, the experts that can save your life when things are very difficult (My daughter was 33+1 and spent time in Neo). These are very good and well trained.
And the useless rest that are supposed to help you identify problems early on, so you don't end up needing your life saved!
Its better to assume that the NHS is useless, so you use other means to protect your love-ones.

Seriously, complain and ask for another HV. We had a similar issue - my son was not premature but had a rare health condition that meant he had an unsafe swallow. He was under a feeding and swallowing team and following a careful plan for introducing solids. The HV essentially told us that we were not parenting properly as he was still having mainly purées at almost a year old. She had no understanding of his condition and didn’t care to learn.

I know this is a bit of an old thread, but I have just found this board and it is so helpful to hear from others in the same boat.

This thread struck a chord with me - my DS was born at 35 weeks, and I do feel that this wasn't taken into account by some people when perhaps it should have been

This is so helpful and I'm sorry so many of us have gone through similar. My baby is prem and I can't seem to get a straight answer re when to have immunisations, date week 8? Corrected?