Post-natal ward without your baby?

[mummaintraining19]

Whilst I was in NICU where my DD was born early, they asked us how we found our experience on the Post-natal ward.

I was just curious what everyone’s experiences were.

Personally... My DD was in NICU for 7 weeks (I’m CPAP for the first few weeks) and I was in post-natal ward for a week. I cried everyday as I was surrounded by other mothers and their babies. I even had a lady from ‘bounty’ come and ask me where my baby was.

Wow. The ladies I know who have SCBU babies were given side rooms to avoid them being surrounded by mums and babies. I would hope that you couldn't have one because they were in use for other poorly mums / mums of multiples who wouldn't otherwise fit by mum's bed, as it's shockingyou were just in an open ward. What did the hospital say at the time?

My baby was born early and kept in NICU. I had my own separate room too.

That’s standard practice in the hospitals near me to put mums in private rooms if they are separate from their babies.

I couldn’t imagine how hard I would have found it being on a ward with other new mums and their babies. I’m sorry you had to do that.

My first baby wasn't early but had a difficult birth so was on SCBU for about 2 weeks before we got him home. It is horrendous to not have your baby with you. The first night I was on a general post natal ward and it was awful. Surrounded by women with babies and I was just sobbing trying to hand express colostrum. I stayed by his incubator in SCBU as long as I could but then ward staff would get annoyed with me as I wasn't around for them to do their post natal checks on me. The head of the maternity unit popped in for a visit on day 2 and I just broke down completely and she swiftly arranged a private room for me. Still horrid to not have my baby with me but much better than a shared ward. When he was being prepared to be discharged we were then allowed a side room in SCBU which was also great. I think a lot more thought needs to go into the care of women who are separated from their babies after delivery. And dads too to be honest.

My DS went straight to nicu. I was put on the antenatal ward to start with, then moved to a side room. I ever had to share a ward with women with babies.

The bounty woman did ask if I wanted a photo though i pointed at the empty cot and wept.

Yes my son was taken to NICU a few hours after he was born, it was the middle of the night so I didn't get moved to a side room till the morning and that was bad enough with the other mums and babies around me. :(

My baby was premature and in nicu for 3 weeks. I spent the first week on post-natal ward but was given a private room before being discharged.
I found the nurses fab, they knew where I would be all day and most of night so made sure to ring the nicu to let me know when my dinner was ready to eat, and did all my obs when I was back to eaor sleep. They were very sympathetic and reassuring when I was discharged about leaving my baby behind without me.

DS1 wasn't premature, but his lungs were full of meconium, and he went off to get them cleaned out for 4 hours. Even that was horrible. I wanted my baby.

You were all obviously in better hospitals then me! Worse thing was there were side rooms free!! there was three of us in different post-natal rooms with other mums and it took my mums friend (who works in the hospital as a breastfeeding nurse) to get us all grouped together in a post-natal room. It was nice at first because we’d all go to NICU together. But then slowly more mums came and they had to give the three other free beds to mums. It broke my heart most at night as I sat there listening to babies crying and visiting times were awful. You could hear behind the curtains families saying about how beautiful their little girl was.

I used to lock myself in the bathroom and cry as the nurses would keep opening my curtains.

I was quite poorly after my DD and even then they wouldn’t let me have a side room. I would have done anything to been in one. I was able to manage being away from my DD and being on the labour ward with my own room. But with all the other mums broke my heart and still makes me cry thinking about it now.

I’m so glad that some hospitals are sympathetic towards ladies with NICU babies - it’s a shame they are not all like that!

The NICU nurses were looking at funding to get a post-natal ward for women with babies in the NICU. But I highly doubt that would work as you have to get staff, equipment and room for it. I honestly wouldn’t wish the experience on my worst enemy

I was put in a room on my own until DS was well enough to be with me.

Sorry cross-posted. That sounds hideous OP. Extremely painful.

I was in a room on my own then moved to a six bay ward with three other mums who also had babies in the NICU as I was too unwell to be in a side room/needed constant obs. One of those mums I met on that ward has been my best friend since that day six years ago. Being around healthy full term babies would have completely broken what I had left of my strength.

My ds was taken to scbu soon after birth and I was put into the post natal ward. At first it was ok, in a 4 bed bay with 2 beds empty and the other was a lady who's baby was also in scbu, but after the first night her baby joined her and another lady with her baby was in a bed and had her family there all the time, they all kept staring at me, blocking the toilet, we're loud and she complained about the baby constantly. It was too much and I asked to be moved.

For 6 days I spent most of my time in scbu and nipped back for meds/food or to pump while ds couldn't feed. When I was able to have him with me i went back to a 4 bed bay (with another lady with several loud family members there for hours on end) it was durable...

I do think it would be better overall if mum and baby could be closer, or mums of nicu/scbu babies were not sent to post natal wards surrounded by mums with their babies.

That sounds terrible. My baby was born via emcs an I had a general anaesthetic. He was taken straight to NICU and I was in the recovery room for a few hours but once I was moved up to the ward they moved me to a side room within a couple of hours and kept apologising for me having to spend time on the ward. I was still so out of it that I didn't really have a clue what was going on around me, but once I was up and about I really appreciated the efforts they had made to keep me separate from the other mums with their babies. My son was back with me after 2 days, still in the side room, and we stayed in for a week. A week on a ward with others with my baby would have been awful - I'm sorry you had such a difficult time.

First time round I had a private room - second time round I was on a general ward for 2 weeks it was horrible

I was put on a ward with 2 other mums who’s babies were also in NICU so it was ok. I would have hated to be in a ward with babies!

I also had a racist next to me that I complained about - commenting about the number of Pak!’s giving birth in that hospital. Said I wanted to be removed she left anyway.

I was given the side room until I’d recovered from my c section, the midwives were amazing. They discharged me early so I could move into the parents room just off nicu under strict instructions that they come and see me daily to check my blood pressure, I’m forever grateful for the care I received

When my DD was born prematurely by emergency C-section, I spent three nights in a postnatal ward, with my DD in NNU (she stayed for six weeks). It never occurred to me at the time that being on the postnatal ward was in any way unusual, or that there was any other option, but I now realise that I might have been missing out!

I do remember it being pretty rubbish, with other people's babies waking me up, and I remember getting upset when another mother kept ignoring her crying baby, and the nurses kept saying 'you have to feed your baby' and 'you have to change your baby's nappy' when my DD couldn't even cry as she was on a ventilator!

I also remember struggling to express colostrum on the ward as, despite having the screens pulled round, whenever I got started some nurse or cleaner would start to pull the screens back (eg if it was in the middle of the day). I got fed up of telling them, and it was all a bit stressful, so I soon learned to head off to NNU at every opportunity, and do it there, where everyone was kind.

I look back and realise that I took some risks: I was constantly wandering off to NNU, which involved going outside between the buildings in winter, on the first night wearing only socks and PJs, having lost quite a bit of blood due to placental abruption. Fortunately, nothing bad happened and nobody stopped me, so I was able to keep away from the postnatal ward most of the time.

The ward staff got a bit fed up as they had to keep ringing NNU to get me to come back for food or pills. My own medical notes said, 'Couldn't check mum's drain / blood pressure etc. because she was in the neontatal unit' on repeat!

The worst thing for me was not being able to express enough milk, and just generally feeling a bit of a failure for my DD having to have been born early. The postnatal ward was just a necessary evil.

Ds went straight to SCBU and I went to the post natal ward. It was absolutely miserable as SCBU wasn't even attached to the ward so I had to walk there by myself to express and see Ds (had had a large bleed so was vvv unsteady) and you didn't get food or drink if you were round on SCBU - or actually checked by anyone.
I really felt like no one cared about me, or about helping me express for my poorly baby.

I think this is shocking. I was given a side room for much less than that! DS was readmitted at 5 days due to weight loss and they put us in a side room, they also let DH stay which was amazing as I really wasn't in a good place.

The first week I was in a private room on postnatal and then 4 weeks in parent accommodation before baby was moved to a hospital closer were we had the option to sleep in but we had an older child so wasnt really ideal to stay away from her any longer. I did find the postnatal staff didnt really care because I didnt have my child even though I had a section under general I was pretty much abandoned.. I remember a surgeon having a sturn word with some of the nurses for ignoring my concerns. But I remember leaving the ward to visit my baby passing the new mums holding their new borns I couldn't imagine having to share a room with them .. nothing like making a bad situation worse.

My DS wasn't prem but there was a problem with his kidneys that they wanted to monitor. He went to NICU on day 2 and was there 4 nights. I was on post natal with pre eclampsia. Yep, 4 nights of utter hell: me needing to be with my baby, but having to be on post natal for my own checks. I think i came close to a mental breakdown. It's definitely why breastfeeding failed. Hospitals really need to think hard about mothers in this situation - and fathers too; DH was continuously conflicted over whose bedside he should be at.

I had a very similar experience to you OP, DS was in SCBU & I was alone on the post natal ward with different nurses each shift asking where my baby was and repeatedly opening my curtains when I just wanted to shut myself away - I ended up in tears to one of the more helpful nurses who arranged for me to be discharged

So sad that this happened to quite a few people! Definitely think they need to sort out a place to put mums with babies in NICU! I would have preferred being on the ward with those who hadn’t had their baby yet! It felt like I had had my baby taken off me and then they were rubbing it in my face that all these mums had there babies (I know they weren’t but it felt that way).

I also found that post-natal nurses didn’t care. They only came to take my observations. No one asked me about my baby, no one asked me how I was.

How far was NICU from the post-natal unit? I was lucky and just had to walk down a corridor and ding the bell to be let in. But I was wondering what other hospital layouts are like!

it was hideous. There was so little understanding of how I felt and what I needed. DS ended up in NICU and I was in emergency care for a night before being moved to a mixed ward so women being induced around me and women with babies. It still makes me upset 6 years later and like a PP my mental health was impacted dreadfully. One of the biggest issues was the lack of information about DS condition, treatment, etc - we got so many mixed messages and they told us really personal and difficult stuff in the middle of the ward so that everyone heard and saw me breaking down