Should I go home with one twin?

[Lipsticktraces]

Looking for opinions please as I really don’t know what to do.

My DTs were born via section on 16/08/18 at 34 weeks. They had to be delivered early due to placenta issues with twin 2. Twin 1 was 4.10pb and twin 2 was 3lb exactly.

We are at the stage now where they are off the ward and rooming in with me in the NICU. Twin 1 is gaining weight and basically ready to come home. However twin 2 is not gaining weight at the minute. I am breastfeeding both babies, with twin 2 getting ebm top ups via tube.

I am getting the strong impression that they would prefer me to take twin 1 home now. It has been suggested several times, but I really don’t want to leave twin 2 in hospital. Plus dh and I have no car at present so would have to rely on my DPs for lifts (bus routes from where we live to the hospital are shocking) I’ve been told I can bring twin 1 in with me, but I really don’t want to spend all day sitting on the ward without anywhere to even escape too for a lie down.

On the other hand I haven’t been home since the 16th and it’s likely twin 2 will be in here for some time to come. My DH can’t stay overnight. My dog is pining for me really badly and I feel a bit like I’m losing my mind in here.

What would you do if you were me?

I would stay another 3 days. Your supply is still pretty precarious at this stage and the over night feeds are so important. Then reassess. If the less heavy twin is almost there then I would feel happier leaving them for 2 nights knowing the end was definitely in sight. It’s nit like you are going to be at home getting. Full nights sleep with one teeny premmie so not much advantage to you.

I'd stand my ground and stay with both babies in hospital. Keep breastfeeding as much as possible and rest when you can.

Congratulations!

I had twins born at 32+2 and one with additional needs that stayed in NICU a week more than her sister.

I would guess that you are not going to be able to stay. They will insist on discharging you.

However this was good for me when it happened. As much as I didn't want to leave a baby in the hospital it meant we were eased into twin life at home - getting used to one baby before the other was added. And during the day the hospital would look after my discharged child while I went to get food etc which meant it was slightly easier.

Good luck - twins are an awesome experience!

I didn’t have a choice when my twins were born. I was discharged 36 hours ish after my section as they were both in nicu and would be for some time. The first came home after 17 days but the second was in for two months.

It was extremely difficult to leave one / both at the hospital but there’s no way I could have survived in there for so long.

At such a low weight are they limiting / having you alternate breast and tube feeds? I was never able to bf mine properly and ended up pumping for months. Looking back I think they probably had tongue ties.

I think it’s difficult whatever you choose to do, but I suspect they’ll need the rooming in room soon for another Mum ready to go home.

Update: They’ve weighed twin two this morning and he’s lost 10 grams He’s back down to 1690 grams. I’d been told on Friday that if he’d gained weight by today we could all go home. So upset right now.

I’ve been breastfeeding him on demand for last four days and he feeds really well. I don’t know why he’s not gaining? Consultant on Friday discussed introducing over night EBM bottle top ups along with breast. Which will mean even less sleep when I’m already lucky to get three hours.

@SinkGirl He was getting tube feeds over night and breast during day up until last Thursday. He gained, so that’s
Why they decided to go EBF.

I feel like we are going to be here forever. Nobody has mentioned me leaving in days, but I’m sure they will now he’s obviously going nowhere fast.

I feel like breastfeeding is just totally holding us back. I thought I was making the right choice by doing it, but I’m just totally doubting myself atm.

Both twins are attending tounge tie clinic on Wednesday. I’ve been told twin one definitely has one, but there’s some disagreement over twin two.

Lipstick, congrats on your beautiful babies. Some pointers to consider:
Breastfeeding isn't the only way your babies can be fed. Formula is a viable option. You could focus on BF ing the twin at home to maintain your supply whilst twin 2 has formula in hospital with a BF top up from you. Do NOT feel bad if you choose this.
Twin 2 will NOT be traumatised if you don't stay by his (her?) side 24/7.
Going home with twin 1 may be a good option for yourself, sleeping in your own bed, others able to watch twin 1, peace and quiet.
You cannot be in 2 places at once. Twin 2 will not remember the time they spent in hospital when they were born. Try to look at it from a purely practical point. I know that's almost impossible, but your emotions are probably running wild at the moment anyway. I'm sure that whoever you've asked will have said to do what yo think best, when actually if you're anything like me you'd probably prefer it if someone you trusted said do XYZ and take that decision away from you.
Whatever you decide, good luck x

Thank you @soontobe

Consultant has said to review his weight on Wednesday I’m going to hang on until then because I really do not want to leave him. Nurse has just helped me to give him a bottle of fortified breast milk. Just want to try and get his weight up in any way possible!

With our DD who was prem and losing weight the solution was 20min at the breast, express and then put it down her feeding tube this porked her up enough to leave the hospital and once we were home we started introducing the bottle for alternate top ups instead of using the tube. Once she got bigger we went to ebf. We were so very lucky to have a supportive neonatal outreach team who let us lead the way and just checked DDs weight to see how she was getting on 😊

Congratulations on your twins and sorry it’s been a difficult journey so far
I just wanted to say a big well done for breastfeeding, it’s not easy with one baby let alone with twins, and especially with twins in NICU. Fwiw i think you are absolutely doing the right thing. There is nothing wrong with formula if that’s what you choose (or if you need to give formula for whatever reason) but if you are happy to breastfeed and able to do so it’s a wonderful thing to do. Your choice to breastfeed is not to blame for DT2’s weight gain problems, that is most probably down to tongue tie and/or other health problems. Really hope the doctors can get to the bottom of it and TT clinic is helpful on Wednesday.
Oh and I think you have absolutely done the right think to stay in hospital with them both for now.
Hang on in there. You are doing an amazing job so far!

My only concern with you going home would be if twin1 gets sniffly- will they allow you back on the ward? Have you asked?

Neonatal Nurse here, congratulations on your twins
Yours is such a familiar story. We like to try and keep twins together if that's what parents want but sometimes it's just not possible if cots are needed. A scbu cot costs ££££ a day. I know it shouldn't be about money but sadly it is.
I'm not atall surprised baby lost weight when starting to exclusively breastfeed. He's been having tops ups which suddenly stop so it's natural he will lose a bit of weight.
In my unit we send babies home tube feeding and have a team that goes to parents home to monitor their weight. I guess that doesn't exist where you are?
And I think you are right, formula fed babies do go home sooner, I see it time and time again.
You need to do what makes you happy and fits in with your family life.
I hope you are all home together soon

That’s interesting about the formula fed babies @CasualDress. I suspected as much. Do you have any idea as to why?

We were discharged on Wednesday, but twin two has been readmitted today. He wasn’t himself this morning and when we checked his temperature it was only 33.1! We took him to A&E and he has low glucose, blood pressure and white blood cells. The doctor in A&E said he should have been allowed home at all when his weight is still so low (1700g)

I’ve been told I can bring twin one in to hospital and stay with him. So we are basically back to square one, only on children’s ward now rather than NICU.

Should not have been allowed home...

Sorry to hear you are back in hospital lipstick sounds as tho he may have an infection, or is dehydrated, maybe not getting as much milk as you thought?
We do discharge babies at that weight but as I say, they are often tube fed and have a outreach team following them up.
I hope they soon get you all home again, what a worrying time.

I think the reason formula fed babies seem to go home quicker is that they gain weight quicker on formula and you can see exactly how much they've taken. Breast feeding isn't easy, mum and baby have to learn.
Some nurses are very Pro breast, to the point of pressurising.
I'm of the school of thought that as long as the baby feeds it doesn't matter what it's on! It has to fit in with family life. I breastfed 1/3 of my children, they're all fine.

They still aren’t sure what is wrong with him @CasualDress. He had hypothermia when he was admitted (even though our bedroom is always at a minimum of 19 degrees and usually more. They have done a million blood tests and we are just waiting on the results.

We are back in NICU because Children’s ward wasn’t suitable for him. I’m struggling to hold it together right now to be honest.

Lipstick How is DS? I hope the Drs have found out what's wrong by now?

Hi @CasualDress Sorry, I’ve just read your last post.

Drs never really found a cause for DS illness. He’s back home now and doing well thank you. Took him to hospital to be weighed yesterday and he’s 6lb 1oz now. They are very happy with his progress and we are just so happy to have him home

Wonderful news OP! So glad things got better and I bet it was wonderful having them both at home :)

Just read the whole thread . Glad your babies are home and progressing

Glad your home xx

I'm so glad to read that he's home, you can start to enjoy your lovely babies now. Best wishes