Tell me your premature birth story...

[CloverHeart]

Spoken to my consultant after a scan and baby isn't growing as she should. Basically, they will rescan me at 28 weeks and if still IGUR they will induce me at anytime from 28 onwards depending on how at risk she is.

I'd like to know what your preemie birth was like in preparation of what might come. I hate not knowing and it would really help (before and after) to have something to relate to.

Gestation of birth:
Gestation you were told/knew baby would be early:
Reason for premature labour/birth:
Sex:
Weight:
Delivery (Vaginal/C-section):
How long in special care and where (NICU/SCBU):
Weight on discharge:
Problems after birth (mum and baby):

With all due respect, Miaow, you are rather misrepresenting my comment. I feel for you and your problems, as I do for everyone on this board whose little ones have had so many more problems than any child should. But if you feel targeted by my comment upthread that almost-term babies might not be 'premature' in the same way that 24- and 26-weekers are then that says more about your own reading than what I actually said.

Gestation of birth: 27 + 0

Gestation you knew baby would be early: 26 + 3 ish. Had light bleeding a few days before (in the Caribbean!), given steroid shots there, flew home and went straight to hospital, scan done and placental flow was very poor so DS delivered the next morning.

Reason for premature birth : IUGR and poor /absent placental flow

Sex: Male

Weight: 655g

Delivery: EMCS

How long in NICU/SCBU: 110 days in 3 different hospitals

Weight on discharge: 5lbs 3ozs

Problems after birth.
Me: none
DS: ventilated for approx 2 weeks, lung haemorrhage at 48 hours old, sepsis, 2 inguinal hernias, came home on O2. Lots of suspected things that thankfully never materialised.

DS is now 15 months actual and has been home almost a year. No hospital admissions. He's still pretty small but meeting all corrected age milestones and we feel very, very lucky to have a happy, healthy little toddler.

Regarding Gurke's post about 36+2 not being really premature, I think I can see both sides of the argument. Whilst I completely agree that everyone who had a baby before 37 weeks has had a premature baby and therefore a pregnancy and birth experience that they did not plan and would not have chosen, I do remember being in hospital with DS and people coming into SCBU for a couple of days when I'd been there 16weeks and feeling that it wasn't the same at all. I used to feel jealous of anyone in hospital whose baby was born later and/or heavier than DS but I've since realised that no one can really predict which babies will have more problems than others and that gestation and birth weight are only an indication and not the whole story.

I had a very early baby, but I had no idea that he was coming so early until a couple of days before his birth. I'm sure FeelingIrie was worried everyday from the time she knew there was an issue with the baby's growth until the birth because she didn't know she would get to that point. It's an extremely traumatic, stressful thing to go through and I don't think anyone's suffering is more valid than anyone else's. That's not to criticise you at all, Gurke - I've found this forum so supportive and helpful at various times over the last year or so and it's good to be able to 'talk' with other mums who get it.

How are you getting on, OP? Wishing you well.

Thanks Newtoallthis - your post and tone is much appreciated. I remember reading your threads when your DS was born and wishing that you and your DS would recover fast.

I really should let this go, not least because it's not helping the OP in any way - my apologies, OP, for derailing your thread. I hope you're getting on well and hanging on in there.

But here is one last attempt to clarify my point. Perhaps my response comes from similar experiences in the NICUs and SCUBUs we stayed at as Newtoallthis describes - with large, round, pink babies coming to stay for a couple of days next to my tiny, pale DS, who still couldn't breathe on his own after weeks. And he wasn't even born as early as many babies mentioned on this thread.

But there is a bigger point. Yes, stressful pregnancies and dashed hopes for dreamed-for birth scenarios which never came true are sad, difficult, traumatic times for us as parents. But the people who ultimately suffer from prematurity are our tiny children, who struggle against the odds, are prodded and hurt by hospital machinery and medical procedures, who can't be with their mothers and fathers when they need them, who might have lifelong consequences. And unfortunately those who come earlier have much higher risks of problems. To say that we're all in this together and feeling the same kind of stress and trauma, regardless of gestation, is just simply not true - a very early baby will have a much harder start to its life and will suffer the consequences for much longer. Of course, even some term babies can be sick and have serious problems, and in a way this applies to them too. FeelingIrie says her DD is getting on well after just 10 weeks, and that's brilliant to hear. But her comments are all about her, and her daughter's difficulties are not of the same order as those of the majority discussed in this thread and on this board. And that's a cause for celebration, not having to be seen as having suffered as much as everyone else. I know we all want our own, personal misery to be acknowledged, but ultimately it's about the children, isn't it?

My apologies if this perspective offends anyone. That's not my intention. I just feel that I, as a 'traumatised mother', have no right to wallow in self-pity. I'm an adult after all. It's my DS who had this start to his life.

OP, apologies again. I'll stop derailing things now.

Gurke - I do understand your point. I do. But it was the way you phrased your first point that got my back up, it seemed insensitive, though I am sure you did not mean it to be at all.

When my little one was in NICU, I do remember seeing lovely big pink babies, but I also remember a baby who was born at 29 weeks (ds was about 1 week old (32w ges) by this point) and this lovely baby excelled so well, and was on CPAP a few days later, and I felt so jealous and frustrated because my ds was still struggling.

What I'm saying is that I see where you are coming from but I honestly think it depends on how a baby is doing after birth. Some geninuely are more ill than others. But I do understand your point completely.

OP, how are you getting on?

Gurke, of course the babies take priority, but if a mother feels bashed about and traumatised by one of the most extraordinary experiences in her life, she shouldn't listen to anyone who tells her she mustn't feel that way, because she's a grown-up.

I understand your perspective on the differences between late and early prems, I do, but I'd be interested to know where and how you'd draw the line.

To say that we're all in this together and feeling the same kind of stress and trauma, regardless of gestation, is just simply not true

but Gurke absolutely nobody has said this. Irie did not say this and nor has anyone else. All anyone is saying is that the word "premature" applies to us all, with our different experiences. I don't read anywhere in Irie's answers a belief that she has suffered as much as everyone else - not sure where you are reading this.

You say it's all about the babies and seem to be criticising Irie for talking about herself - but again, if you read the OP, it specifically asks how things were post birth for the mother as well as the baby. So again, Irie is just answering the question asked.

I would totally agree with you if anyone was saying "having a 36 weeker is the same as having a 26 weeker". But nobody has said that, or even implied it. you seem to be reading something that nobody has said?

I too am hoping CloverHeart is doing ok and hanging on in there at this stressful time.

I don't think anyone disputes Gurke's point that very tiny/early babies are likely to endure more difficulties than those born nearer to term, and that this in turn is incredibly tough for parents. In fact, it really didn't need pointing out, it's pretty much a given. But my first post didn't in any way compare my situation to anyone else's, it was simply sharing my story, which I hoped would be helpful to CloverHeart, as I was in pretty much the same one just a matter of weeks ago. I wasn't expecting to be rounded on for it for a moment! I'm glad that I don't appear to have offended anyone else in doing so. It is a premature birth story after all, just a less horrendous one than many others go through. I know I have been so fortunate in that respect.

Like many things in life, there is a sliding scale to this. I would spend time in SCBU and feel incredibly fortunate that my daughter was basically ok, just small, but then go back to PNW and feel devastated that she wasn't with me and envious of the other women in there with their bouncing babies, so I would say that the jealousy thing works across a spectrum. I would be the one to be envied but still envious of others, if that makes sense. These feelings only come from us wanting our babies to be ok.

Anyway, my original point was to share a positive story of having an IUGR baby and to give the OP an idea of what she might expect if her consultants feel it is safe for her baby to remain in utero to the latter stages of her pregnancy. I wasn't expecting it to illicit the response it did from Gurke but I think she completely misunderstood where I was coming from, as nowhere did I make any comparison between my experience to that of the posters who had delivered their babies so much earlier. Sorry, I feel I keep having to ram that message home as it was so far away from my intention! I have to say, it was unpleasant to basically be told 'you have no right to post here' when it's clear my story is relevant to the OP and when the threads on this board have been helpful to my situation.

Good luck OP.

Cross post with minipie.

Relieved that you and others understand my first post.

Thank you x

What minipie said. All of it. This was meant to canvas experiences from mothers having babies at every premature gestation, right up to 36 + 6, not to attempt to suggest that we've all had as bad a ride as the next family. I would hate to think any of you are scoffing at my stories and questions because my son was 'only' seven weeks ahead of schedule, and I would be angry with myself if I ever felt like that about the parent of a 34, 35, or 36 weeker. The fact is that early babies almost always need some degree of specialist attention, and their mothers often come here for the sort of specialist advice and peer support not available on the main boards - would you turn us away because we haven't had as rough a time as you and your baby?

Thank you Gurke.

For me, one of the main differences between having a late or early prem is that I feel DS's prematurity is still very much with me, in that he is still very small and taking a little longer to do some things, like walk, than most of his full term peers. I thought we would be leaving it all behind when we left the hospital, but it is something which, although I definitely don't think about it daily and certainly don't feel DS is defined by, is still part of our lives. But perhaps that's true for all of us, as we're all posting in this section of mn!

I certainly did feel traumatised after DS's birth, but there wasn't really time for it, IYSWIM, because I had to be expressing, and with him by his incubator, and learning all the medical terms and speaking with doctors. It was like suddenly being tested in something you hadn't had a chance to study for.

Miaow I hope you don't mean it about not coming back. Your posts are jolly helpful and very funny too (much needed in this forum!) It's just one person's view, and it's pretty clear most of us don't agree.

MiaowTheCat - Be pissed off and upset all you want, no-one has the right to tell you how you should feel or act but don't let it stop you from posting on this forum if you ever feel the need/want to, you are completely fucking welcome on this forum and I apologise you had to encounter that one post which, to be fair and honest, shouldn't really be posted on this thread as it had nothing to do with OP's enquiry but instead made into a thread on it own.

Moving on from all that because this debate has gone on long enough and it should be laid to rest or revived on a thread of it's own. None of this is helping the OP.

Never posted here before (come from another forum, but thats a different story) and now my boss keeps looking over my sholder so have to be quick.

Seriously guys!! MiaowTheCat just got very offensive, evne though Gurk has not talked about her at all (unless theres stuff going on in PMs that I don't know about?). But calling her a turd when Gurke has already siad
this isnt about TheCat? I know TheCat has become agressive on other threads too, by the way. Sorry you;re still not well TheCat, but your post isnt right!

From what I can see Gurke has argued with only one person here and thats Irie. And its true that Irie IS only talking about herself and not her baby and that baby seems to be doing well (yay!). So I read Gurke to mean that if a baby born 36+2 is healthy and well then they're not really acting as premmies, are they? And lucky thing too - Id give anything not to be part of the premmie club.

sorry about typos

This not about acting preemie, is there such a thing?! This thread is about what to expect for mother AND baby as the OP is asking for all experiences.

No, Gurke didn't argue with one person, she started a whole other topic and a thread where it wasn't necessary and where it would undoubtly get some responses. thecat is allowed to express her views and feelings, though the insults were not helpful or appropriate, but then again neither was Gurke's original post.

We are not bothered about other threads, or what a poster has posted on other threads. We are talking about this one. I don't think thecat has been agressive here. Angry and upset, yes but not necessary agressive...

moving on...

Jeez. Agree this needs to be laid to rest, it's not helping anyone and only causing upset and distress, surely not the point of this board?

Miaow, I'm so sorry you've been made to feel so shit. It sounds like you've been through hell. Take care of yourself. Lots of people have got your back here by the looks of things. Try to rise above insensitive and uncalled for posts, they are truly bewildering.

Gestation 36wks
Didn't know he'd be early, woke up in a puddle in the middle of the night. Total shock, has assumed he'd probably be late as ds1 had been.
Reason - don't know, they never said. Infection probable, but I don't know if it caused the early membrane rupture or was something we picked up whilst I was "observed" for a day and a half before delivery.
They tried induction, but it failed and I had to have an emergency section.
Weight 6lb 1 ounce.
We were put down on the normal post-natal ward, but doc noticed my little chap was cold and whipped him off to warm him up, leaving me feeling as guilty as hell that I'd let him get cold even though I'd been cuddling him skin to skin in a very hot ward.
Time spent in special care - one day, thank goodness no more I don't think I'd have coped. Turned out he had septacaemia which was why he was so cold.
Cue a difficult week in hospital of IV antibiotics for us both and rounds and rounds of blood tests, heel pricks and lumbar punctures for the poor wee chap. He got low blood sugar twice as a result of it all and as I was determinned to breast feed and not bottle things got a little tricky. He was sleepy and reluctant to feed as he was so ill, but I knew he was better off if I fed him. I got a look in my notes and they'd actually written down that I'd refused formula and it made me sound quite militant and angry, when I remember actually being quite weak and weepy!
Had one go with an electric pump which yielded all of 1ml of milk and two aching breasts, but my milk came in the following day and we didn't look back.
Most of the time in hospital I was quite well supported, but I was so ill after the section I can't remember a lot of it, just that I was relieved to be home after a week.
He got back to birth weight about two weeks later and has been exclusively breast fed for 6 months, which I am totally proud of as ds1 only lasted 6 weeks.
Problems after birth - he was fine, infection all cleared up but I was not so lucky. At three weeks post natal my infection returned suddenly and I had to go back on the antibiotics.
At 6 1/2 months, he is fine and you can't tell he was prem but that he's just a little small for his age. I'm still struggling with aches and pains in the pelvic area and my abdominal wall is still very weak.

Here's my new arrivial's story:-

Gestation of birth: 26+2.
Gestation you were told/knew baby would be early: Told at 25 week scan baby may have to be born early.
Reason for premature labour/birth: No idea why I went into random labour. As scan was fine and my cervix and placenta were great. But baby had CCAM, PBS and IUGR.
Sex: Boy.
Weight: 1lb 2oz.
Delivery (Vaginal/C-section): Vaginal
How long in special care and where (NICU/SCBU): Still here. Day 3.
Weight on discharge: N/A
Problems after birth (mum and baby): No problems with me at all, DS5 is critical. With lung, heart and IVH problems.

Mine is kind of different because it was in 1942. It was my mother and she is a healthy 72 year old now..she weighted 2.5lb and her mother didn't know she was having twins until the pains were still there two hours after my uncle's arrival. They could do nothing but wrap her (baby mum) in cotton wool and hoped that if one child was to die it would be the girl because the boy was more valuable to the family . My DM was told that story often in childhood! Anyway they are both still healthy and robust. My DM has never been sick in her life though she looks like a strong wind would blow her over she is tough as nails in all ways and both twins did exceptionally well in school and university - there seemed to be no ill effects to being born early and so small.
The reason I am sharing this is because they had very little compared to now to keep those babies alive and yet they survived. Your baby has a massive head start because of being born in 2014 and hopefully will be as sturdy as my mother turned out.

oops sorry: gestation was 34 weeks

oops x 3 didn't realise this thread was so old! Hope all babies are faring well.

Multiple I hope your ds turns a corner soon, you poor thing.

My daughter:

Gestation of birth: 32+1 weeks

Gestation you were told/knew baby would be early: 31+5 contractions started every 6 minutes

Reason for premature labour/birth: Never found out

Sex: Female

Weight: 3lb 15

Delivery (Vaginal/C-section): Vaginal

How long in special care and where (NICU/SCBU): SCBU - 4-5 weeks mainly for regulating temp/tube feeds/gaining weight.

Weight on discharge: 4lb 11

Problems after birth (mum and baby): No problems at all for either of us.

Currently 30 weeks pregnant with my second DD. Had threatened preterm labour last week and 5 days in hospital having steroid injections and nifedipine tablets to stop contractions. All ok now but had a positive ffn test too so unsure whether I’ll go early again or make it to full term.

DD2 was born last night at 9.19pm weighing 3lbs. 31 weeker! She’s fab x

Gestation of birth: 33 weeks

Reason for premature labour/birth: Don't know.
Sex: F
Weight: 3 lbs
Delivery (Vaginal/C-section): Vaginal
How long in special care and where (NICU/SCBU): SCBU 6 weeks
Weight on discharge: Can't remember
Problems after birth (mum and baby): Briefly on oxygen, jaundice, trouble feeding (tube feeding), regulating temperature.

She was delayed in speaking and other developmental milestones, didn't crawl, wouldn't sleep, astigmatism in eyes, slow processing, learning disabilities, hyper mobility, mobility issues.