Talk to me about your prem babies grown up?

[Valdeeves]

Have you noticed anything different about them compared to their peers as they approach school age? Are they on track?

27+ Dd is 7 (yr3) and physically is fine and is quite sporty. Academically she is behind but only enough to get an IEP. She only grasped reading last year and this has really set her back but now that she can she isn't struggling nearly as much. I don't think she'll ever be great shakes academically but will live a perfectly 'normal' life. People wouldn't know her precarious start unless told.

Miaow- dd is august born so actually was born into the year above she was supposed to be. I think most people would assume the fact she is behind is because she's summer born rather than prem.

Interesting thread. I think some traits of my 32 weeker, now 4, come from his start, he is certainly more exciteable and emotional than his brothers. He had a rough time in his early days- sepsis, NEC, anaemia, liver problems, was in hospital for seven weeks and had hearing problems. The hearing problem resolved but left him with speech delay, which in turn affected his social skills. But he's started school without any problems, is on track academically and his calming down as he gets older too. He's generally very healthy, but like a few others have mentioned is prone to chest infections and has asthma, which is also getting better with age.

My eldest ds is 6 and was born in traumatic circumstances at 26 weeks. He spent most the the first 18 months of his life in hospital needing heart and bowl/stomach surgery, he came home on O2 and had a very rough ride in nicu.
He is now completely indistinguishable from his peers and has no further issues. He is thin but tall, has boundless energy and has been discharged from the hospital completely for over a year. Looking at him I find it hard to believe....
My ds2 is a ex 24 weeker but had a smoother ride than his brother as his delivery was controlled and he had steroids, a mag drip etc in utero. At 14 months he has no issues that present at the moment and is crawling and standing in line with his corrected age.

ds2 born at 28 wks, is 11 now and has mild Cerebral palsy, autism, learning difficulties and a few other associated problems.
He had no obvious bleeds by ultrasound etc but just didn't catch up developmentally, initially dx'd with global developmental delay but the current diagnosis evolved as he got older and we got a clearer picture of his disabilities.
Size wise he's massive, tall & built like a rugby player with an appetite to match.
He is funny, bright, brave & just amazing... but I'm biased

Hi everyone I finally caught up with the thread I started!
I know one poster said "Do you really want to know? Focus on your child" or something like that ??
I didn't post for that reason - I posted because I have two preterm children - 35 weeks and 33. I find my first ( 35 weeks) and my oldest seems to be emotionally behind his peers at time - tantrums, easily overwhelmed and emotional over small things. I just wanted to know if others had experienced it and could offer any tips. My second child was more prem and is physically still catching up.
I've grown up preemie baby friends (in their 30's) who are fine so I just wanted an idea of how to support as a parent. Not create worries for anyone!

Thanks for all these answers xx

So inspiring Mamma. They were born so early. My DS came just before 32 weeks at 4lb 4. Now starting preschool at 3yo. He's emotionally younger than his peers and is behind with talking (but he's making lots of progress and is learning 2 languages). But what's amazing is his little sister, born at term, is doing things at the same time DS did, though she did sit up before DS. She's taking first steps at a year, just as DS did. Amazing.

Of the posters whose children had developmental delays, could you already tell when they were a baby?

My baby was born at 29 weeks, she's 7 months now (uncorrected). She seems on track for her corrected age (there's such a wide difference between babies at that age anyway), but naturally I can't help comparing her to other babies. She had the steroids before she was born, which I think made a hell of a difference. She was off oxygen in 24 hrs and no other issues apart from establishing feeding and growing. She's still a small baby (and we are both tall) but apart from that seems happy.

And what the OP asked whether we wanted to know. Yes I would, because it would mean I would know what to look out for and get help if needed. Am looking at childcare for example, if she would have special needs then I would take that in to account.

There all amazing babies though aren't they. I can't get over how remarkably resilient they are.

Hi Dildas, yes in ds2's case I could tell from very early on. Initialy we thought maybe it was just everything he had been through on top of the prematurity.
Apart from not meeting developmental milestones he just wasn't very responsive, he took a lot of stimulation to get any reaction from him but actually didn't really like any movement etc.
Cuddles were definitely for my benefit rather than his as he was much calmer when left to settle himself.
He also had problems feeding, took ages to learn to suck & then it was very slow & hard work.
He was obviously very different to ds1 born at term.
Despite his longterm disabilities he is now a very loving, happy, funny 11 yr old.

My best friends ds was born at 24 weeks, weighing 1lb4oz. He's now a strapping 14 year old, with no lasting issues. They were so blessed

DS born at 26 weeks 980grammes and was ?CP for a couple of years because of his coordination.

Caught up in developmental terms at about 4years physically caught up by about 6yrs. At 8 he is just above average height, just above average academically, above average for sports (ironically given his ?CP!.

But interestingly yes he is quite emotional and finds it hard to control his temper. But as he was adopted I put some of his emptional issues down to the adoption rather than the prematurity but who knows! It may just be the way he would have been - in any event he is fab!

I can't get over how remarkably resilient they are.

So true - DS spent three months in hospital post birth with not a single visitor - no kangaroo care for him. Then 9 months in an institution with no one to one care and it was hard to separate out how many of his (many and varied!) delays were premmie based, institutional or permanent damage.

And yet he is the most amazing resilient fantastic boy you could wish for.

My DS was born at 27 weeks, weighing 1lb 7ozs,and is now 11 months actual (8 corrected). Doing really well, although still small, but beginning to move up the centiles a little bit. He's been at the later end of normal for his corrected age with gross motor skills so far, but is now sitting, rolling etc. Weaning very slow initially (and not sure why I needed to start when he was 6months actual, rather than corrected because it made no difference), but now eats pretty well.
When he was in hospital (for 3.5 months after his birth) and once he came home, I used to google effects of prematurity obsessively and worry aobout absolutely everything, but I'm trying to get on with things and just deal with issues if and when they emerge now. I'm obviously biased but DS is such a lovely, happy baby and I just want to enjoy him!

Really interesting to read everyone's stories - so true that these babies are unbelievably resilient. It always annoys me when people (usually strangers) talk about what amazing things doctors can do these days. Yes, it is amazing, but these babies also save themselves.

Also, Kew, just wanted to say am really happy that your DS has a mum as lovely as you, after his difficult start. He sounds great!

Thanks you New DS sounds very similar to your DS (in terms of size/development - he finally sat unsupported just before his first birthday. If it helps there's photos of DS playing rugby on my profile.

I agree with New. Really pleased Kew to hear that your DS was adopted and obviously loved. Can i be nosey and ask are you in the uk? Just wondering with your DS not being adopted ASAP! X

I am in the Uk now Fraggle but he wasn't born/adopted here but from Kazakhstan. I think he was possibly just too high risk for many people to want him... very very delayed and when I met him at 11 months couldn't sit up and had a risk of CP assessed at about 20%.

He wasn't put on the adoption register until he was about 4 months (because he was in hospital and not technically available for adoption) then children have to be available for domestic adopters only for 6 months and locals tend to prefer children with problems to be a little older so the extent of any problems can be better assessed.

I was very lucky that others passed!

As it happened we have just had a starring role in a Kazakh documentary about children adopted to other countries with him showing off his tennis medals and his footballing skills - I think anyone watching would wonder why on earth he was considered high risk. But it was an anxious couple of years and I obsessively plotted his height and weight and head circumference - it was nice when he moved off the instructions underneath the chart onto the chart itself!

Wow, kew- he is gorgeous and looks so happy and healthy! What a great little man you're raising there!

My 35 weeker is now 11, he was quite emotionally immature for his age until around 8 years old. Other than that he had caught up by age 3-4

My 32 weeker is nearly 3, emotionally and verbally he is still behind but is gradually catching up.

As a long term lurker, I remember yours and ds journey. You are one amazing mummy

Kew, I love hearing positive stories like yours. You and your boy are obviously very special people

DD was born at 35 weeks, so not very prem, but had stopped growing in the womb at around 30 weeks. She was 3lb 3oz.

She was very hard to feed, little and often was our mantra. I spent the first 6 months of her life in a daze I think - she fed every 90 minutes. She spent a month in Kindertensive and was just under 5lb when they let her go home. She was only 23 cm from head to toe!

She was an early talker, but late crawler and walker. She was tiny until she was about 3/4, (wearing prem clothes until she was 1, then 18mths to 2 years clothes until she started school), then suddenly shot up and is now (at 8) one of the tallest in her class.

She has no developmental issues, is very fit and generally healthy and (I think) quite clever - she seems 'old for her years' if you know what I mean. Her eyesight was a worry in the early years, but got stronger and is now quite normal.

I often think the only 'hangover' that she has is that her chest seems 'weak'. Every cold she has tends to go straight to her chest and wipes her out. Although she copes with them very well and rarely needs time off school. That's only my opinion though, and my mum always says that I had a 'weak' chest too.

Emotionally she seems fine, we didn't suffer too much with the terrible twos/threes, but we have always kept her very busy which helps I think. She is very much 8 going on 18 so maybe she is saving the worst till her teen years!

When I wrote down how remarkably resilient they are my next thought was actually on how some babies don't make it. Being in neonatal and losing a child myself has made me acutely aware of all the things that can go wrong, although I am sure all mothers worry about all the bad things out there in the world.

kew your photos are ace! I love the doctor Kewcucumber one!

I ran the marathon for BLISS the premature baby charity last year and went to their "reception" afterwards. The vast majority of runners were doing it because they had a personal connection with BLISS, usually their children who were all there to cheer on the runners. It was really emotional, such gorgeous, amazing children. But you are right Dildals that for all the amazing, positive stories there are babies that didn't make it.

Dd weighed less than a bag of sugar at birth, was 9 weeks prem. Physical milestones were delayed in first year or so.

Now she's a beautiful, happy, sociable, caring and sporty teenager. Likely predictions for GCSE are an array of As and A*s.