Is 37 too old to have another baby?...

[itscomplicatedlife]

Hopefully parked this in the right area, but would you say 37 is a normal and ok age for a second baby, is that considered normal or not to you nowadays?

Had my first at 34 had a rough few years we still kind of are on the sleep front but I don't think I should leave it longer & wonder if I left it too late... thank you

I had my first at 37, go for it

Nowadays if you between 18 and the menopause it's normal.

I wouldn't consider 37 too old at all.

I've also known a first time mother give birth at 44 but she had a miscarriage at 40.

Known a second time mother give birth at 44 too.

I was told, when I looked into it (decided not to for various reasons) at 37 that I was still fertile and should have no issues getting pregnant. I'd panicked and thought that as I had chlamydia which was diagnosed a bit late that that would ruin my chances.

Friend of a friend gave birth last month and turned 37 the same month.

Any other women I know who've had children in 30s/40s - yes it's harder so they say, yes, as you can be more tired but depends on what you do, how much family etc support you have.

I'm planning to have my second at 38. I don't consider it to be too old and am not concerned.

Thanks all, it's been so interesting reading ayour comments. They say no two are ever the same I can only pray this is true as our
First is nightmare one 😭 she woke so much and still does occ at almost 3, rarely napped, talks bucket loads, needs constant interaction. Sadly grandparents we have just 1 who dotes on our child but sadly don't see all too often as he has to work still at 57 too young to retire, the other is 76 and too old he's let himself go a lot and not safe to care for an active toddler. My mother died just after our child was born to very late diagnosed cancer when I was pregnant. Just how it goes. I always wondered what it would be like to have active grandparents around as I never had 1 in my own younger life as they were all dead when I was born except my grandad on mother's side but he didn't play any active role, I honestly was never bothered by this as have nothing to compare it to, what you don't know you can't miss. I had a very happy childhood I really did and never felt like I missed out, But I can imagine it being very helpful Indeed to have help from very interested grandparents I may need them if I have another crazy baby 😵‍💫

Hi OP - whatever works for you and your family is going to be great. Forget all the naysayers and just do what works for you!

I had mine older (almost 37 and 40). I'm going to flip the script on selfishness and say it's BLOODY selfish to have kids when you're really young! Most people under 30 have zero life experience, really don't know who they are yet, have nothing of value to teach a child and also lack a stable financial foundation to bring up kids... In my experience the parents who had kids older are much happier and better-resourced to deal with the challenges of parenting, and so have much happier and nicer kids! :)

Also, like a huge number of people, my mum died when I was barely out of my teens so would not have been able to be hands-on grandmother regardless of my age having my own kids - so people making that argument can fuck right off too.

At the end of the day your timing is your timing and anyone making sweeping generalisations about what's right or wrong (including my tease above!) is just a douche. Hope that helps! Best of luck with it. X

@WoolyMammoth55 This is the thing isn't it, I was just saying to my partner, my dad hasn't been blessed with the best of health so he's 57 but still too young to retire so won't be aroinf to help much if he was 67 he prob may be retired but wouldn't again be much help. It seems they'd perhaps need to be lucky enough to retire earlier than the set age and be in Good health or retire at 68 and be in good health, I don't know if a lot are much help after 68 I don't know but I can imagine they're a lot tired. Or if you have parents that perhaps work shifts Mau be useful as that would work. And some of us like yourself lose parents young due to health and accidents etc. I feel sad about the grandparent thing I do but it is what it is and I think it's just so varied across the board so I've accepted it now and having your reply and the others above just made me realise life's all swings and roundabouts, I think it's rare to have everything perfect. My mum was 22 when she had me, she looked so bloody miserable, she had no help as grandparents all gone, she went from being a social going out all the time to spending the next 18 years insdoors, due to her health declining just bad luck she couldn't work either and when we left home early 20s she was just early 40s and honestly she seemed so much older 🥺 when I think I'm just 5 yrs off how I remember her at 20 it's crazy the differnence, I feel lucky my health has not been the same, my life is not the same, I have work I can go to still atm anyway. Had she had us later we would have lost her younger but I wish for herself she could have had us a bit older than 22 she was still so very young. It's each to their own but I think for me I think having more of your early 20s to enjoy yourself a bit longer and get more financially stable is a good thing, you also get it out of your system and become more patient for your kids. Couldn't have mine anytime in my 20s just felt like I was still finding my feet in life on all fronts, financially it was a battle, we felt ready after 30 but happened at 33.5 x x x

had mine older (almost 37 and 40). I'm going to flip the script on selfishness and say it's BLOODY selfish to have kids when you're really young! Most people under 30 have zero life experience, really don't know who they are yet, have nothing of value to teach a child and also lack a stable financial foundation to bring up kids...
so right in regards to finances! At 31 we can afford anything we want for our son. At 21 I certainly wouldn't have! Yes, money isn't everything but it certainly helps for a happy, stable upbringing! I also wouldn't have been able to be a SAHM and raise him myself. Those years you can't get back.

So lovely reading these replies. I'm
Going through wee waves of wanting to have a 3rd baby but my children are 8 and 10 (im 38) but I think it would be too much of an age gap and potentially be harder work going back to the baby stage having been well past it with older children that are self sufficient! But yet newborn snuggle just make we all gooey and emosh 🤷‍♀️

I had my first at 41and second at 48, but neither were natural so biologically irrelevant. Tiredness wise, I have been fine, but who knows in the future? You will be absolutely average at the school gates

No not at all, I work in female dominated environment and many are waiting til then for their first. I know someone who had one at 52😮 I'm old so started in my 20s but I did have one at 33 and got broody again 10 years later but not appropriate to have another due to circumstances at the time not age!

Woolymammoth55 I think its wrong to say either age is selfish. I am pregnant at 39 and I also had my first son at almost 18. He has a great job and been a perfect child and done well in everything, he's the best thing to of happened to me and despite me being young I was an amazing mum. There is no perfect age to be a mum its who you are as a person and who is around you as good influences. Saying its selfish is wrong when many young parents go on to be great parents as do older.

You need to be aware of, and be comfortable with, the increasing risks as you age. It increases dramatically in late 30s and 40+

I had my second child at 38 and she has a birth defect, which is a lifelong condition. Maternal age was a big risk factor. She has already had years of outpatient treatment and 2 operations, but should live a completely normal life. We’ve had to take a fair bit of time off work, and commit to the treatment. It’s been fine, but the hospital said it’s not uncommon for other families to not cope and be non compliant on treatment.

Of course there is always a risk of birth defects, but you need to understand the far higher risks facing older mums.

Two of my friends, also older mums, have had the same experience as me with birth defects the second time around.

I just think you need to go in with eyes open and think whether you have the capacity to manage potential disabilities, knowing the risk is much higher.

@Hodehodeho Thank you for this, it's really helpful to know and this should be considered seriously. We have had a particularly terrible time on the sleep front which has affected our health considerably, Energy wise I'm concerned as I couldn't go through what I went through again so I have a lot to think on but placing any likely issues like this on top is a very real concern of mine also but one I hadn't seriously considered which I abs should so thank you for your post and reminding us as things do change closer to late 30s and there are very real risks as we get older. I think the stress of what we went throhhh with so many nihht wakings has affected via my exhaustion and stress my hormones and could be going in to peri early such a shock!! Got more tests to come x x

Had my second at 43. Fell pregnant within 2 months of trying. Don't assume it will happen that fast but also be prepared - it could! I was fit and healthy, started my supplements well in advance. Straightforward pregnancy; I was very worried about the risk due to my age but everything was fine. Generally found it a lot easier than when I had my first in my mid 30s. Age gap can be a pain but also very advantageous having an older child who adores the baby (now toddler), doesn't feel threatened or jealous, loves to play and help. And I've had the absolute pleasure of focusing on one young child, now on my second... i love doing it this way!

It is a fact that before birth control many, many women had babies well into their forties, as they kept on reproducing throughout their married lives (started young and had loads of kids).

unless you’ve hit the menopause, you’re not too old. Biology is really your only marker, as people’s ideas of ‘old’ vary significantly. Also, some of the PP look to have taken very out of date research as fact, I would suggest you look at the new research on age and fertility, it’s not as gloomy as some people like to make out!