My 15 year old daughter had medical abortion today.

[Cookie19783]

my daughter told me she was pregnant 2 weeks ago. Right from the start she was adamant she wanted to have an abortion. So i have respected her wishes and am trying to support her the best i can. Just wanted her to know that i was not forcing her to have a termination but she has told me she 100% wanted the termination. I know what its like to have an unplanned pregnancy having my 3rd child 3 years ago my husband dint want us to keep but i couldn't bring myself to terminate. But then i am in my late 30s not 15. I know she is far to young to have a baby. She also suffers for anxiety and dont think she would cope well with the birth and raising a child. So i know it is for the best. I am just worried sick about the next part. We have to go back in 2 days so she can get the second lot of pills. worried about the long term affect on her mental health. Its probably just a mum think cause at the moment she seems ok considering. She is still with her boyfriend who is 18. My husband has baned him from the house but said he can come round when he was not in. Think its just a protective dad thing. He has told her he would stand by her no matter what she choose to do. Seems to be supporting her. But he is off to join the army in a few weeks. Just worried how she will cope wen he goes.

Thanks folks. Yes they are still together. Hes away 6 months but will be back for weekends. No teenagers certainly don't come with instructions. Now i know how my mother felt but i could never have spoke to her. I will try speak to my husband tommorow hopefully he will come round.

It's not a matter of helpful the fact is she's a child he's an adult (paedophile) the law is the law and if one occasion is condoned why have a law to protect children

It would help if you actually knew the law and understood the terms you are using.

He is not a paedophile. A paedophile is attracted to pre-pubescent children (which is normally regarded as meaning children under 13) and must be at least 5 years older than the victim. In this case the OP's daughter is 15 and he is just over 2 years older than her so he fails to meet either of the criteria to be called a paedophile.

As the OP's child is over 13 this is not rape. Even if he were prosecuted for the offence of sexual activity with a child (which is unlikely given the age gap and the apparent lack of aggravating factors) he would not go to prison. He might get a suspended sentence but a community order is more likely. If the age gap was significantly bigger it would be another matter but in this case there is no chance whatsoever that he would go to prison.

would you argue it's ok if he was 18 and she was say 14 or 13

If she was 12 he would be guilty of rape regardless of whether or not she consented (and you could justifiably call him a paedophile). If she was 13 or 14 it would still be sexual activity with a child rather than rape (and he would not be a paedophile) but the greater age gap would mean that prosecution was more likely and a prison sentence might be on the cards. Unlike you, it would seem, the courts can tell the difference.

Thank god someone knows what they're talking about prh47bridge.

An instruction booklet for children that updates periodically with each new stage would be most welcome!

Joking aside OP, I agree with pp re contraception. Sex might be the last thing on her mind right now, but it will come back, I would imagine with weekend visits from a boyfriend who she will probably be missing a lot.

Op, this must be very hard for you and her Dad: your little girl going through this and fast racked into adult experiences.

The process won't be easy for her, so support her through that.

But she has made the best she can of an accident any sexually active person can experience.

She seems clear about her decision, so be careful not to project your own reluctance to terminate on to her. It is great that this is her decision and you have not pressurised her to terminate. The fact that it is her decision will probably mean the emotional fall out is minimised.

She may regret that the pg occurred, but for many women, me included, the ending of an unwanted pg comes with great relief and no regret. Be careful not to imply that she ought to feel guilt, regret and need counselling.

I felt almost indecent because I wasn't having this emotional turmoil about a 'difficult ' decision, and as if I would be thought an immoral, callous monster for admitting I felt huge relief and no regret except some sorrow and poignancy (for which I did not need counselling!).

Many women feel that they cannot say this. I have read articles by women who feel like me.

Be careful not to make her feel she 'ought ' to feel guilt and regret.

Your dd has a boyfriend who loves and supports her, I hope your DH can find the rational response and allow him into the house to give the support for the mistake he was involved in.

She will feel very hormonal and may we'll be very emotional, especially with her bf going away.

It is not a situation anyone would want to be in, but hopefully your dd will now move on positively with her life, in control of her future, her educational and relationship opportunities, and the time at which she becomes a mother.

Good luck to all of you.