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Original poster

Can you refuse an assisted delivery? Anyone know what our rights are?

47 replies

ElectraInExcelsis · 11/12/2008 12:47

I absolutely do not want an assisted delivery under any circumstances - I would even prefer an emergency c-section, and I have considered it a great deal.

Anyone know anything about this?

OP posts:
storkycake · 11/12/2008 15:37

is that true LM? how bizarre!

I have often wondered why, after being exhausted and a protracted 2nd stage, at the hint of forceps I managed to get her out myself. That's rather fascinating actually.

Hopefully Electra, it won't come to an instrumental delivery.

Lulumama · 11/12/2008 15:44

it is, i read the new active birth book or the updated water birth book and it was in there too. it is hormonla response to the fear of intervention i think. whatever it is, it can get a baby out darn quick!

StarlightWonderStarlightBright · 11/12/2008 15:53

But isn't that just evidence that the forceps were never actually needed in the first place?

thenewme · 11/12/2008 15:57

I am a bit that you would rather have a major operation than assisted with forceps.ventouse.

StarlightWonderStarlightBright · 11/12/2008 16:00

Lulumama, can I ask you a quick question. I'm considering training to become a NCT antenatal teacher BUT iyo do you think I have too much bagage etc. to be good at it? BTW: You don't have to answer coz I know you're nice.

My motivations are probably fairly obvious to you. I'd like to help women to have access to up-to-date information to use to make their choices, and bring in a little additional income so I don't have to return to my previous job and stay at home with the kids.

I know I'm not judgemental about however people give birth, but I am worried that I might be too enthusiastic about people being informed. i.e. It IS every womans right to bury their heads in the sand, or refuse to read research and listen to dodgy advice given by their SILs isn't it!? TIA

Lulumama · 11/12/2008 16:38

i think it is a great thing to do., i did lookt at doing it myself, but for many reasons decided not to, and give one to one birth prep sessions. i want to be independent.

i think every woman carries baggage about the birth, and learning to not project it and to let your own experiences colour everything you advise/ opine about is quite hard.

i certainly would say that the positive effect your second birth had on you is a wonderful thing and totally undersatnd you want to do something with that energy.

go for it !

StarlightWonderStarlightBright · 11/12/2008 16:57

Aw thanks Lulumama. I think there are very good reasons to be independent, but I might quite like to get involved in shaping the classes (in many many many years to come) as I attended them before my first birth and......

I've been working to join together my local surestart centre with the NCT to get funding and train less advantaged young bfers as peer supporters so I am quite passionate about being involved with helping the NCT expand their horizons/image a little.

Lulumama · 11/12/2008 17:05

it is a good feeling to make a small difference isn;t it?

StarlightWonderStarlightBright · 11/12/2008 17:16

It is! After my first birth I used to look around me at all the people that must have given birth astonished that they weren't obsessed with the experience it is so horrible.

I still do the same now, astonished that people aren't obsessed with it because it's so amazing.

It's a shame because if people were, then surely services would be better. But I think the reality is that you have the experience and are immediately launched into another world where you've never felt such tiredness, worry and guilt and that is quite enough to deal with.

All worth it though, when your LO sings a solo in a concert, wearing angel wings!?

Lulumama · 11/12/2008 17:17

just like me after both my births too!!

the angel wings are the best

wannaBe · 11/12/2008 17:21

iirc there was a woman in the news a few years ago whose baby had died after she refused a caesarean. It created a debate about whether hospitals should be allowed to force intervention.

I had a ventouse delivery, and I would far rather that than a cs - the prospect of which terrified me.

If you really want to refuse assisted delivery then you need to be sure you're aware of the consequences of doing that, and whether you really feel you could follow that through if the need arose.

Original poster
ElectraInExcelsis · 11/12/2008 17:22

Thanks - it has been interesting to read your replies.

I am not convinced that an assisted delivery is actually safe for the baby (and also has a bigger chance of causing more damage to me). We are told they are, but really there is absolutely no way to tell if they ever cause any problems and if they did you would never be able to prove it. Pictures I see of babies with forcep marks on their heads disturb me greatly. I am under no illusion either about what a c-section involves, and would not be keen to have that either.

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 12/12/2008 15:52

Electra - if this is your 2nd baby - and you opt for a home birth, I think the possibility of you needing intervention is very small indeed.

Original poster
ElectraInExcelsis · 12/12/2008 16:36

Lynette - it's my third. So yes I'm hoping so - are third births any harder than second?

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 12/12/2008 17:37

My 3rd was easy peasy. I think partly becuase I was at home and much more relaxed, partly becuase everything has stretched before, and partly because DD was 2lb smaller than her brothers.

Original poster
ElectraInExcelsis · 12/12/2008 18:35

Well that's what I like to hear I do hope it's the same for me!

OP posts:
mogwai · 12/12/2008 21:40

I can never really understand threads like this.

In your case, with your third baby, I guess it's fairly unlikely you will get into difficulty.

However, I had a friend who was five feet tall and had her first (very large) baby at home in an upstairs flat. A very difficult labour ensued and she's lucky to be alive.

I just can't understand why people feel so strongly against hospital birth or assisted delivery or anything else which might be the safest option at the time.

I'd much prefer to be in hospital (a) in case of the need for c-section and (b) because of the proximity of SCBU. Of course it would be nice to be at home but when push comes to shove (if you'll pardon the pun), I think the medical staff know better than I do.

expatinscotland · 12/12/2008 21:44

'I absolutely do not want an assisted delivery under any circumstances - I would even prefer an emergency c-section, and I have considered it a great deal.'

I used to think that.

Then I had a lady next to me in the ward who had a crash cs.

I'd had a ventouse delivery (3rd baby).

Man, there is NO way I'd have preferred her experience over mine.

LynetteScavo · 12/12/2008 21:52

I think Electra is thinking of her baby rather than herself when she says she would prefer a c-section.

Flibbertyjibbet · 12/12/2008 21:54

ds1 - assisted birth as he was in distress but quite a way down. Even a crash cs would have taken much longer than 'assisting' him out.

ds2 - cs for a 9lb transverse baby.

Would FAR rather have had a 2nd assisted birth.

LynetteScavo · 12/12/2008 22:00

I think we should focus on sending Electra easy birth vibes.

The 3rd baby is like shelling peas.

snickersnack · 12/12/2008 22:02

I was offered forceps in labour with dd (the exact words were "I can have a go with these if you fancy, not sure it will work") and I said no way. So went straight to a c-section. So I sort of refused.

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