If you specified visitor handwashing and no kissing - how long for

[namechange7891011]

We followed the handwashing and no kissing advice with our newborn for visitors. Baby is now 4 weeks old and I’m not sure whether to now allow people to hold him without washing their hands.

If you followed this advice, how long did u keep these rules in place?

Never had them 🤷‍♀️

Never had them either and my baby was 8 weeks prem. I was told to go home and get in with things as normal after being in SCBU for 3 weeks.

Google says the immune system is not developed until 3 months old.

They can kiss my children when they're old enough to ask them to. Not germ related, I just think it's gross.

What makes it gross?

With my eldest, didn't bother. I personally think human touch and relationships are essential for growth. Kissing babies and children you love is a normal sign of affection and I wanted my kids to have their own loving relationships with GPs.

Also immune systems develop gradually and exposure helps.

With my twins, they were prem and quite poorly and we listened to the advice of their neonatal consultant, which was specific to them. In their case it was about 2 months.

@namechange7891011
I think you need to think carefully about what is a good balance in parenting. This goes for all aspects, not just this specific one.
When you imposed this rule, you presumably did so because you think that it is a good way to help protect baby from getting ill. You also felt that it was a reasonable, and not overly laborious request to make of others, especially in the short term.

I didn’t impose this sort of restriction, so can’t tell you my experience, but I’d say that doing so after the child starts reaching out and touching objects surrounding them would be non sensical . You would be wrong to limit your baby’s exposure to the world, so at that point I think you have passed into anxiety rather than reasonable precautions.
I can’t remember when this might be, because mine are adults now, but I don’t think you can reasonably ask people to wash hand when baby is chewing on the car keys.

I think if baby is lying on the floor/ touching anything that hasn't been washed and sterilised, they can be held by someone who hasn't washed their hands.

It wouldn't be appropriate to kiss anyone else without checking they were ok with it first, I don't see how that differs because it's a child. The insistence that they should be able to kiss this newborn baby/toddler/small child is gross to me.

I didn’t have this rule with my first, although I have considerate family and friends who wouldn’t have come to visit if they were poorly. Now about to have my second it’ll be almost impossible to keep my eldest away from them and she’s always riddled with germs from nursery so makes the whole rule seem pointless anyway!

Well you can't ask your child for a cuddle, or if it wants to sleep on you or whatever. But I'll bet you pick them up regardless and snuggle....

It's 100% natural for people to want to hold and cuddle babies and it's a fairly modern idea that for some reason they shouldn't be touched.

We have agreed after baby’s 6-8 weeks vaccinations, it’s interesting other people’s views on consent around kissing though

Never! I'm glad babies were less complex years ago

Washing hands Until baby independently comes to you. No kissing probably more like 2 when kids actually ask.
Our niece recently ended up in hospital with very serious complications after catching coldsores at 18mo.

4 weeks is still tiny, everyone should be washing their hands and no one should be kissing them.

If you're still sterilising bottles then people should still be being clean.

Never had any rules, babies need germ exposure to build their immunity.

Newborn babies do not need exposure to build their immunity, they've only just been born, they dont have a strong enough immune system. Thats why we get vaccinations before their born and why we wait until they're older before vaccinating them. You dont start teaching a newborn baby to fight diseases that could kill them, you keep them safe till they're strong enough to start.

But we also had to argue with family about not visiting when they are actively ill, or that coldsores are infectious as they think its hereditary 🤔

So maybe if your family are intelligent people its alot easier.

This makes me so sad. A healthy baby is not going to get ill from the love and attention from a wider network of family. This is how families bond. God, modern life is determined to make people more and more precious and isolated. It’s bonkers. 🙄

You can't love a family members child without slobbering all over them?

I didn't say they shouldn't be touched...

Honestly, I think it depends on the people in your life. My SIL carried on with the handwashing rule for ages - but this was mainly a figleaf because my dad, unfortunately, has absolutely terrible ideas about hygiene and his hands would reliably be grim. Covid helped a tiny bit but he still believes - and he's not the only person I've met like this - that one paper tissue ought to last for at least a day, reused frequently, and he doesn't connect having a cold with washing his hands.

If you have a normal family where adults wash their hands the usual amount, and other parents don't do things like assuming their snot-encrusted toddler ought to be mauling your two-month-old baby, then you're probably fine.

(Incidentally, I think this is the sort of reason MN gets so polarised - everyone is thinking about their own family and judging. Most people in my life would be sensible enough to come to visit a baby with clean hands - or to nip to the bathroom to wash if they knew they had, say, just accidentally sneezed all over themselves or handled raw meat or whatever - but, sadly, not all.)

It wouldn't be appropriate to pick up and cuddle anyone else without checking they were ok with it first, I don't see how that differs because it's a child. The insistence that they should be able to pick up and cuddle this newborn baby/toddler/small child is gross to me. That's why I didn't touch my child until they were 16.

So you're one of the people who insists on slobbering all over other people's children and then throws a tantrum when they say please can you just not put your mouth on my child?

Only 'rule' I had was no posting baby on social media!

No one would have risked coming if they felt unwell, in fact some family members postponed as they found out day before they had been at the gym with a friend that tested positive for covid the next day. I would never have known if they hadn't told me. I think most if not all did wash their hands but not because I asked them to.

Everyone I was inviting early days were people who really loved baby and really didn't want to put baby at any risk of their own accord. Unless someone has history I wouldn't worry about it (unless they have a history of cold sores obviously on the kissing!)

Please do not feel sad for my baby. We are following the ‘T.H.A.N.K.S’ campaign detailed by NHS and the Lullaby Trust to minimise risk whilst baby is so small. It is not being ‘precious’. I am just asking for advice from other mums who have followed this guidance how long they followed it for. Thanks to the posters who have replied with helpful answers.

https://www.lullabytrust.org.uk/baby-safety/infection-and-illness/preventing-infection/