Urge to push during labour

[Anonmum600]

I have birth to DS back in September but I am left with questions about my labour. When I first went to hospital I was in real pain after waters broke and having contractions so close together there was basically no break. However doctor examined me and said my cervix wasn't far enough forward and sent me home.

I was in so much pain that I didn't leave and they found me a room. During that time I had an unbelievable urge to push. I had been told not to though. I couldn't move because I was focusing so hard on not pushing. 3 hours later I was in so much pain trying not to push that I asked for a second opinion. Another doctor examined me and said I was 8cm. I got taken to the labour suite. However, I never felt the urge to push at any other point and I ended up with a forceps delivery due to failure to progress.

I feel so guilty it ended up with forceps - like I didn't try hard enough. However I'm also wondering if maybe I should have listened to my body and allowed myself to push and maybe I wouldn't have ended up with a forceps delivery? Would love to hear some views because it would also be helpful to know if I ever have a second!

Childbirth also used be a leading cause of death in women prior to modern medicine.

Like many other PP I had an urge to push (though not a strong or involuntary urge) early on.

Despite the previous check (not long before) only being 4cm, I was encouraged to push by my midwife. Bear in mind that it was about 6 hours into drip labour, and it was my second baby, so not entirely improbable I had rapidly transitioned to 10cm. I had also had zero urge to push with DC1, so this feeling was very new to me. However, after a while, the urge died off, and my midwife checked. I was still 4cm. Labour continued for a while after, but to no avail. I then had an epidural as I couldn't go on any more. A couple of hours after that the decision was made for a C-section as baby was starting to show signs of distress and I was only 5cm. At the C-section baby was still positioned high and back to back (which we knew), but had deflexed his head. He was stuck and was never going to come vaginally.

I had a debrief (my trust does them within a year of birth, or the next time you're pregnant), which helped with my feelings of failure and come to terms of what happened. I also did a little research into it. What found indicated that a malpositioned baby (especially back to back) can cause an early urge to push. The malpositioned head presses on a nerve (that usually causes you to have urge to poo iirc) that it would ordinarily press on with the head further down the birth canal in a normally positioned baby. Maybe it is a reflex that gets baby better positioned, I don't know, but it didn't for me.

Idk I’ve done two vaginal deliveries with no pain relief or g/a. Both horrible awful experiences but fast. The midwives might as well not have been there. I didn’t really feel the urge to push though with either. I’ve always found it difficult to feel anything down there because the contractions have been so bad. I just pushed when I was told I was 10 cm and hoped it was going to be over soon. Sorry you had a crap time.

I recall being told not to push with my first. Strangely enough as soon as there was a shift change and the next midwife arrived I was allowed to push immediately 🤔 I did have a debrief as things ended up quite tricky and the consultant I met with was lovely. He did say that sometimes mums are asked not to push and I think it is to do with the cervix.
You say “I feel so guilty it ended up with forceps - like I didn't try hard enough”
I am so sorry you feel this way it really resonates with me and it’s a horrible feeling but you aren’t alone. I think i really visualized it all going very differently but so much is out of your control despite a lot of what you are told in the lead up. It might not help but I hope you know you have done amazing, growing and looking after your own little human. Go easy on yourself.

This was me as well.. no control what so ever my body just pushed for me so there was no way I would have been able to not do it

I had that overwhelming urge to push and despite my best efforts, there was no way I could stop it. The fact I was in the car was another issue.

Anecdotal but my midwife told me her son was back to back when she laboured and his position made her feel like she wanted to push even though she wasn't very dilated. She ended up having an epidural which took the urge away.

Don't feel guilty about forceps, no matter how much you push babies just aren't in the right position sometimes. Also had a forceps.