What don't you like about your Health Visitor?

[piggyinthemiddle]

I have to admit that I've changed by name for this one. I've noticed that a lot of MNs don't like their HV or find her unhelpful and it seems to me that there may be a problem with HVs and/or the way the service is provided. As a MN and a HV I have been very disappointed but interested in this. It would be very helpful to me if you would share some of your experiences of the HV service and also say what you would have liked from your HV (please don't mention your HV by name for this).

I hated the fact that because I was a youngish mum (22) my HV treated me like a total idiot. On our first meeting after everything she told me she would ask me to repeat what she had just said to make sure I was listening . As a result I only ever had contact with her when I had to. I think I have seen her about 5 times (my DD has just turned 4). Although she retired last month and I now have no idea who my HV is!

Okay, here's mine :)

• Please have up-to-date information (whether that be on breast-feeding or best time to wean, signs of allergies etc) - nothing worse than getting their advice and getting the WRONG advice. It loses trust and it makes people reluctant to ask about something else.

• Please don't undermine our confidence on the rare times we have some! Again, I've experienced this primarily with disparaging comments about "delaying" weaning until 6 months, about whether my baby is getting enough while only breastfeeding, whether I should/shouldn't put my baby on a routine and a whole host of developmental issues where I've been happy on my choice going in but panicked when I leave! And it's obviously not my choices that are "wrong" as I've heard from friends that the same health visitors are undermining their completely different choices.

• Have more time when we want to talk - don't just use throwaway pat phrases to cover for the fact your busy - it's obvious and patronising. Our baby clinic is PACKED. One health visitor trying to get through 40+ people in a couple of hours. Love her, I know she's hardworked, but as a result she seems completely uninterested in anything I have to say. Thank god I don't have PND because it'd never EVER be picked up...

Actually, my old HV has really, really come up trumps when I went to her with concerns about my ds's motor skills. Within a couple of weeks she'd got him an assessment with an OT and a place in a special needs playgroup/babygym and I have now got a notification of a paediatric assessment on the 10th. I'm absolutely staggered and very impressed. Ds's needs/delay are not very extreme so am amazed so much has been done so quickly. The new HV is pretty rubbish though - she suggested speech therapy, which he really, really doesn't need - which is why I'm glad I can still contact my old one who now works primarily for Sure Start in the area. But at least she offered something I suppose! I think what we (well, I, anyway) want is up to date advice, kindness, taking a mother's word and prompt action where it is needed - and less obsessing about scales and formula!

Also when DD got refused a place in the local authority nursery (for us not being deserving enough) my HV told me to get DD dressed in her oldest dirtiest clothes, and for me to do the same and go along to the nursery and make myself cry and beg for a place. Needless to say I never!

*patronising attitude towards client group - comments like a lot of her case load had their kids drinking tea out of bottles/ate sausage rolls for lunch - made me wonder what she said about me behind my back!

*authoritarian attitude - forced me into weaning DS at just before 5 months when I wanted to wait until 6 months as per WHO guidance, told me DS had to be on 3 solid meals a day by six months

*lack of positive feedback - grudging praise, sweeping negativity

*a lot of references about how she had asked round her office about things to do with me; made me feel I had no confidentiality. If you have to do that, fine but I just freaked me out to hear about it!

I had a lot of visits from my HV due to antenatal depression/anxiety. A lot of people with PND do find their HVs helpful and sympathetic. Unfortunately I found mine plain demoralising.

Thank you for your responses, it's very interesting for me to hear this.

Jellyhead, thank you for highlighting the earlier thread, I will try to find it and have a look through. The reason I'm asking for your opinions about HVs is only for my own personal interest because I want to do what I can to improve my practice and give clients a good service. It's actually quite difficult for me to find out what people think about HVs because all my friends know what I do and I suspect that it prevents them from being honest about what they think.

FWIW, my personal experience of the HV service as a client has been mixed. My own HV has been really good when I've seen her at home but the clinic is so packed that I go as little as possible just to get dd weighed and then I can't wait to get out, also some of the service organisation has been poor.

Where I live HV's are in short supply and I do not know who my HV is since my original one left. I do feel they are in a no win job like teachers. My orignal HV was absolutely lovely and did not offer advice unless asked. I only ever saw her at the weighing clinic though after the initial visit after the birth(s).

I would have liked more support than just invitations to have my sons weighed. When a child is diagnosed with special needs there appears to be absolutely no interest in the child or their family IME. Ds1 failed his 2yr development check in a big way. Rather than trying to look at why that might have been the HV referred him for speech therapy and left us to it. When ds1 reached the top of the list for actual therapy (1 year after the original referral) the SALT referred him to the Child Development Centre. The letter was cc'd to the HV team but still no interest. The HV was invited to the case conference where ds1 was dx'd with autism. No response to the letter and no-one turned up. Again when the CDC wrote and told them about the diagnosis there was no reply.

By this time ds1 was 3.5yrs old and our portage worker was worried that when ds1 was no longer eligible for portage we would have no support. She contacted the HV team herself and had to persuade them to visit us. She didn't trust the HV to make an actual visit so deliberately arranged it to coincide with a portage home visit. The HV stayed for about 10 minutes. The one thing she was asked to do was to find out about the provision of free nappies for children with SN. She promised to call us. She never did. The portage worker was so frustrated with the lack of support that she instead enlisted the help of the school nurse (bearing in mind that ds1 was still only 3 and hadn't even started at the school yet). Ds1 is now 4.5yrs old and no-one has even bothered to check that we are coping.

A couple of weeks ago ds2 was given a preliminary dx of autism. This means that we now have 2 autistic boys under the age of 5. Still no response from the HV team. I sometimes wonder if we've somehow been struck off their list but the immunisation appointments are still getting here so we must be on their computer system somewhere.

So what I would like to see is more support for the family as a whole. I understand that sometimes people slip through the net but to still completely ignore a family even after a professional has had to practically drag you round to the family's home and explain the family's needs is IMHO inexcusable. I have absolutely no faith in our HV team at all.

i hate the way my HV insisted i keep a food diary and speak to a gp about putting my baby on a diet as she was 'too heavey'. she had jumped well over 2 centile lines, and was off the charts for her weight, but i had to demand they checked her height as well. She was off the charts for that as well.

Hi Pim

I could echo Aimsmum's post TBH although I was not young with DS (33) was a graduate / Marketing Director I was still patronised by my first HV which put my back up

But I totally lost confidence in the profession by being categorically lied to by our 2nd one

We moved areas when DS was 4 months old ..new HV ... at DS's 8 month check he failed his hearing test .. we had to go back 2 weeks later .. during that 2 weeks DH's medical condition worsened dramatically and I found a suspect mole on my body (not a great time for our family) .. when we returned for the next hearing check DS failed again (they were stupid / overly-long tests to be fair and I had no concerns over his hearing) .. we were referred for a proper hearing test

At that point I'm afraid I let my guard down a little and cried (something I never do in front of people) .. well a few tears escaped anyway .. it was the proverbial straw breaking the camel's back ... HV very sympathetic .. I told her about DH's condition (chronic but not fatal) because I didn't want her feeling I couldn't cope with a question mark over DS's hearing... I asked her not to write anything on any records about it, we are private people and cope extremely well with help of friends / family and our chosen medical professionals ... she promised she wouldn't

Anyhoo .. sorry this is long .. she retired 3 months later .. new HV called me up and first thing she said? "How's your DH"

I was apopletic

I was lied to by HV and my weakness of losing it momentarily was documented ...

Since DD has been born I've seen one HV (very pleasant) once on the home visit .. and won't see any more

I have also heard so much crap advice from friends' discussions that nothing can restore my faith in the profession .. sorry

Coppertop, it sounds like you've got a real problem with the service you're receiving. Wherever I've worked families with a child, or children, with special needs were seen as a priority and were offered extra visits. Usually we would ring them every month or so, depending on what we had agreed, just to find out how things were going. We would also offer a visit which a client was free to accept or decline depending on what they wanted. Some Mums would want a visit each month and others would just say yes when they had something specific that they wanted to talk about. If you want to see your HV you could ring her and ask for a visit, but in view of what has happened in the past you may have lost confidence in her. In this case you might want to make an appointment to see the service manager to find out what level of service you should be receiving and also to ask for a change of HV.

For info, immunisation appointments usually come from another office.

I was alaways up for a bit of hv bashing, as the one I had when dd was born was a complete old dragon and just made me feel so incompetent about everything. She also left her notepad in my house one day (and yes of course I read it)and was horrified at the things she had written about other mothers.
HOWEVER new hv is an absolute dream, totally honest, doesnt intrude, calm and unpatronising.
So I am now pro-hv's, they're not all bad

When I ring up for advice it's answerphone, so I leave contact no. and ask to be rung back. Guess what? She doesn't.
I go to the morning HV clinic and twice she wasn't there, so wasted my time and effort getting us up there for nothing.
She gives me advice I already know when I have seen her, that is.
Anyhow that's one HV , which is my one.
Lately though I've seen another one a few times and she is on my wavelength and actually listens.
She asks how I am and how am I coping.
She knows my thought on certain things and she doesn't lay into me,in fact she respects my decision and supports me and tries to find answers that are tailored to our needs.

I find the hv for my area patronising. She gave me some leaflets after ds was born, and told me to make sure someone read them out to me. I (in a befuddled, post-partum haze) asked her why they needed to be read out loud. She floundered around for a few seconds,then said that in her experiance, young mums in her area usually needed "support" with reading (and you could actually hear those inverted comma's fall into place).

As I was suffering with PND at this point, the suggestion that I looked like someone who couldn't read absolutly shattered all confidence I had got. Is this a question they ask everyone? I don't think so. I wasn't even that young!!

Our HV is good about phoning back, and good about sorting out eg. appointments when I've hit a brick wall. I like her as a person, although she is a bit odd (!).

Despite these good points, I've still been hit with the same misleading advice re. breastfeeding and weaning. When I commented that I thought advice now was to delay weaning til 6 months, the response was, "Yes, but hardly anyone manages that, it's really difficult to get them to 6 months on just breastmilk". Being on my 3rd baby, and of a moderately stroppy disposition, I took no notice and found out for myself that solely bfeeding til 6 months is in fact much easier than messing about with bottles or tiny spoonfuls of gloop. But it's scary to think how many women must be discouraged and undermined in their wish to breastfeed by this sort of nonsense.

must make a point of mentioning this to HV next time our paths cross (not very often, luckily)...

I think HVs as a group get a rough deal.
I have had good and bad exp, at the moment I have a great HV who takes time to listen to me and always tells me that mums know best! She has popped round with things for DD2 at 8am, or weekends, and nothing seems to be too much trouble for her. She also asks what I think, which makes a difference.
In contrast, my HV for DD1 ignored my concerns about her speech when I took her at 2yrs, then suggested she may be autistic when I kept pushing for an assessment, although she certainly is not. It took a few months before I was taken seriously.
My current HV always calls me back, in fact DH once called HV offive and spoke to another HV about DD2 feeding. We were given advice etc, then our HV called us that afternoon to make sure we were ok. That makes a difference.

PITM - Do you want to come and move to my area and be my HV? It sounds like you have a great service there.

I've got to the point where I just don't use the HV service anymore. When I realised that ds2 was having similar difficulties to his brother I got him into the system via our portage worker rather than the HV (although the referral letter was cc'd to the HV team too). When ds2 was weighed at his CDC appointment it was for the first time since his 9mth check-up.

PITM

Main problem with my HV is that she isn't up to date.

Eg I asked for information on weaning to a vegetarian diet. She gave me a leaflet recommending marmite and weetabix (both have added salt and I wouldn't give them to a 6 month old!).

I was also a bit annoyed that the PND tests were never done on the grounds that "young women don't really get PND". I wasn't even that young ! (25 then). I didn't get it but a friend who is an ex-nurse commented that I had a lot of the lifestyle triggers eg living far from friends/family, first child, more highly educated than parents (?) etc.

She also told a friend of mine that she had to give her baby meat, as she was not gaining weight properly. We and ds were in an identical situation to them with the weight (both kids had bad flu and didn't eat for a bit so didn't gain). However, we weren't told to give ds meat-I think we had established ourselves as stroppy vegetarians by then .

am debating whether to contribute as would take to long to list my objections to our HV

In short the first one threatened to contact social services unless we gave ds formula as he wasnt gaining weight
DS weight started to plateau at 12 weeks and only resumed growing at 20 weeks. HV talked about weaning at 13 weeks when the weight issue was not apparent.
He posseted LOTS of milk for the 8 weeks he did not gain. She said it was cos something wrong with BFmilk, encouraged formula - posseting didnt stop. She bullied me into giving baby rice at 16weeks cos ds not gaining.
She was not happy i was pureering veggies for ds in case i added salt (told me over and over not to)

Now we have the same doctor cos he is fab and have a HV at a different surgery. She is really nice but we are not on the same wavelength. Have been avoiding her cos i know she will make a fuss about dd not gaining (She like ds has put on almost no weight for 8 weeks) i know she will eventually though so am hiding from HV until 6 months (as also only started weaning a few days ago) which HV also will not like.

2nd HV also caused me total confusion a few weeks ago about autism - turned out to be a misunderstanding - am sure some HV are wonderful though!!!!!!!

My HV is brilliant in the same ways as Issymum's. In addition to the HV there are a couple of Community Nursery Nurses who also great.

One of the things they do is a mother and baby group (was under 1's but we refused to leave so they do another for under 2's now). They will weigh the babies at the group so we don't have to go to the clinic (v busy), and are really good if we ask for advice about feeding, sleeping, behaviour, all sorts really. It has been so helpful to have this resource.

Can I ask a dumb question here? What exactly is a helth visitor? What are the qualifications? Why would you go see a health visitor and not a GP or paediatrician if something might be wrong with the baby?

We were in Wpom when dd was born. The health visitor came round to see us once, maybe twice, when DD was an infant. But, I never heard from her again, and it never bothered me because if ever I thought I needed medical advice I went to see the GP.

A health visitor is someone who would have liked to be a paediatrician, but for whatever reason, decided that she likes being out and about in the community, offering pearls of wisdom to as many poor, unsuspecting mothers as possible. She has trained as a nurse (usually c. 1934), and has then completed a course which allows her to call herself a health visitor and inflict crap on us all. God bless the HV!! (Although I'm sure there are one or two good ones out there)