nervous about first baby.

[shortiemum]

help,my first baby is due on the 16th of march and i am so nervous.I'm the last in my family to have kids so i have alot to live up to and i'm getting so much conflicting advice from everyone.what do i do?
oh and this is my first time on mumsnet and iv'e probably left messages in all the wrong places,sorry!

good shortiemum, and dont worry, you dont have to just use mumsnet for baby talk, you can make friends on here and have a laugh and a chat. xxx

As for advice from family members, try the following;

1)Relative suggests you are doing something wrong
2)Hand baby to relative
3)Say, "Show me, then!"
4)Quietly "nip" to the toilet and don,t return for 30 minutes
5)Success! Relative has learnt not to question you!

haha liking that idea!must remember for future.i have also had complete strangers coming up to me and telling me all about there stretchmarks/piles/birth whatever.is this normal or do i just atract nutters?

hi shortie mum congratulations

no you don't attract nutters when you are pregnant EVERYONE you meet has a pregnancy story you will hear all about them/their wives/sisters/best friends/aunties/dogs pregnancy and labour

I was where you are about 7 months ago terrified of labour and worrying myself stupid, posting all sorts of questions on mumsnet(I think my best was "is this my waters breaking?" the reply was " course it is either that or your suddenly incontinent"

Yea the labour hurt like hell I was adamant I wanted everything they could give me in the end it was four and a half hours on gas and air only. What I got for it was the most beautiful little miracle I have ever seen, there aren't words to describe how happy I was seeing my baby for the first time, every morning I get up I still am overjoyed seeing her little face (shes 17 weeks now) it's brilliant being a mum.

As for all the advice smile say that's interesting, mentally file anything of note and do it your way. You've already found mumsnet it's wicked BTW.

Just say to yourself durig labour "It's not forever" because really it isn't. As for the nutters, get a t-shirt printed that says i don't want to know. Everone knows someone who's baby came out sideways Playing a piano

It's totally normal to be nervous. I was petrified about the whole prospect of a baby and was in complete denial about the birth. I used to skip those pages in the books.

I found there is an awful lot of instinct involved and you do figure it all out. My mum, bless her, offered to give advice when I asked for it. I'm still working on the MIL. The HV gave me a book called "Birth to 5", which is full of facts and advice. Some of the books can be conflicting, so I ended up sticking with just that one. The first time I washed DD I had her on the coffee table and the book open next to her so I could follow the instructions! I was so worried about getting it right, but in the end I realised that it was just plain common sense.

I also hadn't realised how much support there would be from the community midwife, health visitors and nursery nurses - but it might be that in my area they are excellent.

I'd recommend ante-natal classes. I made some really good friends and we meet up every week, with and without babies, and that's where I've got most of my support from.

.... and of course mumsnet now (new in last 2-3 weeks), thanks to which I managed to diagnose DDs Hand, Foot and Mouth disease, which is spreading round the toddler group like wildfire and which we all thought was teething.

Hi Shortiemum, I'm so glad you posted this - I'm 14 weeks pregnant and worried just like you.
It's so helpful to read about everybody else's experiences - mumsnet is great, I've been looking at it since we started trying for a baby.
I can say don't worry about names yet though, I was 'sprog' for 2 weeks while my parents got to know me and decided which name suited me best, and my friends baby was nameless for about three weeks until my dp suggested Enya - they were looking for Irish names as Dad is part Irish.
I guess I'm going to look like a weeble soon too as I'm only 5ft2 .

Shortiemum - its completely natural to feel like this. I spent most of my first pregnancy feeling terrified about what lay ahead. But you will be fine. As far as advice goes, all I can say is chose one sensible book (I had one which I brought from woollies "The complete guide to pregnancy and childcare" which was my bible, non judgemental with lots of helpful information in. I would say don't buy any others as I have friends who have read too much and just end up being confused.

Advice from everyone - I would say - look at who has the babies who sleep/feed well etc. and follow their advice. Thats what I did. LIstenened to my sister - as I could see how contented her babies were. It worked for me.

I also ignored advice from anyone who a) hadn't been out at all since the birth for a year or b) whose baby still wasn't sleeping through at 18 months!!!!!

I've just become a first time mum last week! I felt exactly as you did. Baby wasn't planned, and although for years I'd been whining 'I want a baby!' as soon as I found I was I wasn't so sure anymore! All my broody feelings just vanished, and I was really worried about how I would feel when the baby arrived. Well, so far I am completely in love (although perhaps a little less so at 2am after three hours of feeding!) and can't imagine life without him. I love him more than I ever thought possible and I'm sure that it will be exactly the same for you. As everyone has said, you have plenty of time for names, me and DP were pretty sure what we wanted, but we still didn't officially decided till the night after he was born.

MY biggest worry was about the labour too, but I managed. I found gas and air to be truely wonderful! But like someone else who posted here the midwifes didn't think I was in established labour, so I didn't get it untill I was already 10cms. But I survived and so did he and things after that hurt a lot less I can tell you that much!

As for people looking down their noses, ignore them. I am considered a 'young mum' by my work colleagues, and some of them couldn't hid their shock and basically disdain when I said I was pregnant. But we are designed to give birth at this age, so there should be no reason for people to feel this way, so don't even worry about them!

basically, if you can, enjoy being pregnant (I hated it) and make the most of the time you and DP have together at the moment to strengthen your relationship. Look after yourself and I look forward to hearing about your happy arrival next march!

When I was pregnant with DD (now have a DS too) I read "Best Friend's Guide to Pregnancy" - how I laughed, it put everything into perspective and I realised that my fears were the same as everyone elses. The same author wrote "Best Friend's Guide to Motherhood" and "BFGT Toddlers" or something like that too. You can get a bit bogged down with the serious books and actually stop enjoying your pregnancy by being scared. HTH
x

I read that too actually Kbear. Very good for a giggle!! Would advice it!