Om my God, you are me 11 months ago!
I was 36 with no 2 and feeling very paranoid about possible problems. (Despite the fact that I work with children with s/n and firmly believe that each and every one makes a powerful positive contribution to this world and that meaningful choices and opportunities for those with s/n are a powerful indicator of a civilised society.)
Had done a lot of research and went for the OSCAR (combined blood and nuchal fold) which is about 95% accurate.
Got a v good result (something like 1:2500) and felt really happy until a locum obstetrician said to me a few weeks later, whilst looking at my OSCAR results. 'Hmmm 36 eh? Sure you don't want an amnio?' My world just fell about around my ears (my midwife who is fab was in the room with me, told me afterwards that she couldn't believe he had said that) and I spent the next week crying, trawling the internet to check up on everything from my OSCAR bloke's background (Mr Welch, lovely lovely man in BUPA hospital on the Wirral) to who is best at amnios (the greek chap in London-Kings?-apparently) booking amnios, cancelling them, rebooking, bawling on phone to dh (abroad at the time).
It dawned on me eventually that I had allowed the OSCAR to pose more questions than it had answered (ie what if I were the 1 in 2500)so in a way it made matters worse, not helped by the fact that in that week I picked up a magazine and there was an article by someone who was that 1 in 2500.
Yet my rational side was worrying me as I know that there are far worse things to deal with than Downs Syndrome-in fact the vast majority of the many people I know with Downs have good purposeful joyful lives.I knew for example that no test would pick up Autism, something that is often a far more devastating condition.
And yet my other rational side was telling me that a 95% accurate test which gave me such a good result really was very good!
In a heap, phoning to organise yet another amnio the phone was picked up by another midwife who is a friend of mine. She listened to me and said (as a friend, not as an impartial professional)
'What you need is for someone to give you a kick up the arse and say 'Get real won't you?'
Don't know why, but it was as if the sun came out. Suddenly felt very calm and when she pointed out that the risk of harming the baby in the amnio process was greater than the poss. of it having something wrong with it, it all made sense.
She also reminded me that amnio is offered as a standard procedure at a time when the risk from the amnio is the same as the inherent risk from being the age that you are. Sounds obvious now but I hadn't thought of it at the time.
(She also told me of a woman she had seen who had become pregnant for the first time at 43, had an amnio and lost the baby.......)
Anyway, was sufficiently calmed to cancel amnio and take the rest of the pregnancy in my stride, and was able even to deal with another obstetrician (abroad) making exactly the same comment without getting upset.
Ds born in July and as healthy as can be (thank you God,oh thank you God!!!) I don't plan to have more children but often wonder what I would do if I was pregnant again. I think I might go straight for amnio some days (def. answer but risk to baby) then other days go for OSCAR (lovely Mr Welch,baby safe but still element of doubt) then other times I don't know if I would do anything.
It's so hard and noone can decide but you, which is what I realised, but it really helped me to learn of other's thought processes on this matter (which I'd known about MN then!)
The very best to you whatever you decide.