Please inspire me with what you did to enjoy your maternity leave!

[KiwiDramaQueen]

Hello! I'm starting maternity towards the end of January and would love to hear from people with inspiration of things they did during their maternity leave that helped them enjoy it.

It's possible we might be in lockdown again for a while in the new year so I'm hoping for some things that aren't reliant on baby classes, and also some things that are a bit more for me and my mental/physical/emotional health!

Did you read any books that inspired you? E.g. anything to do with self-growth etc would be great or anything that really helped you on your transition into being a mother.

How did you incorporate nature into your maternity leave? I live in a very small town with lots of lovely countryside around - did any of you manage to do regular hiking on maternity leave with a small baby? What tips and tricks would you recommend?

What helped you feel good about the day or week?

Did you journal or keep a memory book for the baby?

My partner will be working from home 3 days a week even when we go back to work, what little routines or things did you find helped you as a couple have some quality time each day together either with (or occasionally without!) the baby?

I've had depression and anxiety in the past, and sometimes I let myself get into a bit of a rut, so I'm concerned about the days and weeks merging into one. One thing I've already done is sign up for an online photography course and buy a new lens for my camera - I know I'll be taking a million photos of the baby so figure I may as well learn how to take good ones.

I know all this really has to be tempered by realistic expectations, in the early days/ weeks just leaving the house for a short walk will probably be a major achievement (I'm having a c section). I know this is not going to be a period of great personal productivity, but it is a whole year and I don't want to fritter it away without any thought as to how I spend some of that time.

To be honest the only thing productive I did with my 6 months maternity leave was have a baby, look after baby, sleep....and honestly... That's OK... You aren't frittering it away... You are looking after your child....

I could watch some box sets with my first... Much better than cbeebies with my 2nd. 🤣

I'm sure people will be along with much more achievements but very much will depend on how you cope with being a new mum and how much your baby sleeps (both day and night)

You could go for a walk each lunch time with partner and baby... . Perhaps stopping for lunch occasionally. That'd be nice.

Would you hike alone with the baby?

It'll be nice to have partner at home but could be very disruptive for their work.

We first got out when baby was 10 weeks old... We were at home in bed by 8 30
I went out with friends around 12 weeks and realised I had nothing to talk about if it wasn't the baby... Then fell asleep on the toilet...

I did yoga once a week just for me time after 4 months.
We did manage a lovely holiday before I went back to work... But it's just childcare in a warmer location...

The things I loved about my first maternity leave:

• got out for a good walk every day. Baby was happy in carrier so could do some decent walks and we got a heavy duty buggy which could cope with uneven paths
• I realised while DC was still portable that as long as they were seeing different things they didn't all need to be baby focussed so I went to lots of museums and art galleries with friends
• but I did do some baby classes like baby yoga when they were tiny and baby music when they were a bit bigger
• baby cinema was my fave - did that every week until DC got too mobile and wriggly
• I also really benefited from postnatal yoga
• watched a lot of box sets in the early days and listened to a lot of audiobooks on those night feeds

Just hoping some of the out and about things are possible when I go on my second mat leave this month

Have very low expectations

Congratulate yourself for small victories

Embrace your comfies and the box sets

Try to go for a walk every day

Have nice tea/coffee/biscuits in at all times

Fall into the slow-ness but also expect it to be about relentless

Honestly, don't put pressure on yourself.

I felt like I was hit by a train and took me quite awhile to settle into motherhood and enjoy it.

You just don't know how your going to feel.
So whilst I think it's great you want to achieve and be productive, it's not always that easy so go with it, and when your ready find something to do.

I was happy getting dressed the first few weeks.

I did make a memory book for my DS and I added to it every so often of photos and the bits I had collected.

I’m in week 3 of maternity leave, first baby due mid Jan 😬 so far I have:

• (almost) finished the baby’s room
• packed for hospital & properly organised my hospital notes
• sent our Christmas cards
• deep cleaned, room by room, finished upstairs now starting downstairs
• deep cleaned my car 😂 (SO satisfying)
• had some lovely lie-ins
• made a little sleeping bag (‘papousse’) on the sewing machine for baby
• taken my 2 dogs for lots of walks around our village
• started the online digital course by The Positive Birth Company

Things I have booked/planned to do coming up:

• hair salon on Thursday
• a nice quiet cosy Xmas with DH & dogs
• a nail appointment
• organise our weekly shop better
• batch cook for after baby arrives

Nothing overly special but such a nice time of year to be on maternity leave- I’m loving being cosy at home, pottering around & getting round to jobs at home after never having any time when I was at work! Enjoy your down time.. one thing I will say is you may well be knackered so if you want to do a big clean or similar I’d advise doing it at the start as a few week before birth you start to get quite uncomfortable moving around! Xo

I looked after my baby, for the first 6 months that's mostly what you do! After that I did go to baby group etc but it's not exciting. I did learn to cook properly though because I had to, couldn't afford to eat out

Umm nothing 'productive' other than keept baby alive and this time round the two of them! Things I enjoyed tho were : a postnatal exercise course (wish I had done a lot more of this, that's a regret), lots of playgroups/baby groups in churches and childrens centres, made a bunch of new parent friends at groups, spent a lot of time just sitting about chatting with DM (she is currently having cancer treatment so with hindsight I value that time even more), read a lot of books, saw a lot of films in the cinema through baby cinema screenings, ate a lot of tasty takeaway food. Haha.

This time, the same except slightly less takeaway food and I have toddler too 3/5 days a week. Less isolated this time as I already have parent friends to do things with, one of whom is on mat leave at the same time as me. Am also continuing to learn to drive and planning to do more postnatal exercise classes this time albeit online. Also getting out more for lunch/coffee and cake than I could last time as DC2 cries a lot lot less than DC1 so it's much easier to get out with him.

Lots of long walks! Good baby carrier, headphones for when they are asleep. Lots of al fresco nappy changes! Really enjoyed taking a flask and a bite to eat and having baby with me, kicking about on a rug next to me or snoozing away. Saw lots of friends that way, picnics whether it was warm or cold, but yes lots of hiking, lots of baby and me time. Exercise, headspace, nature, all good.

Also did a lot at my allotment all year round, nice place to take the baby. Would have them in the carrier or on a rug and then crawling around and then toddling and “helping”.

Bad weather, art galleries and museums, even big shopping centres, to get our wandering fix. These get harder when babies get bigger, whereas the outdoor activities are good for all ages.

Honestly, my maternity leaves were the times I was most free, did the most exploring, travelling and wandering, and met a whole bunch of lovely people too. Fond memories!

In my first mat leave I just didn’t enjoy myself, tbh. My mental and physical health were both poor and I had very little energy. A few work kit days were a godsend for feeling more like myself - worth considering!

Second time round everything was much easier to enjoy: lots of long walks, and a reusable coffee cup for the trek to my favourite cafe. But most of all I enjoyed a weekly in person art class, brilliant time away from baby.

I watched loads of box sets basically, it was great. We did a baby swimming class but that was it for weekly activities and just went out for a dog walk each day.

I don't expect to be productive at all lol.

I do live locks to some nice gardens and the zoo so I am going to get passes to these (a few months in when out and about a bit more) so I have places to go. I'm a nanny so luckily I have a lot of friends (colleagues) who will be able to meet up in the week and do these things with me.

I read a LOT and I have a kindle paper white in hopes I can get some reading done during feeds.

I loved maternity leave. I did the nct course and made friends from that. I walked for miles in parks and woods with DS in the sling or pram. I did baby classes and a mums exercise group to make friends. It was amazing.

I want to do it again!

My maternity was in the depths of lockdown. It was a bit shit, but I can’t imagine any future lockdowns being as long or as strict again.

Went for a lot of cold winter walks.

Can’t say I did or had time for much that was productive. I also had done some online photography tutorials but didn’t really keep it up - maybe I will in my next mat leave! So that’s def a good idea!
We moved house also, so I had planned to do lots of decorating etc but the usual cknveyancing delays meant I was back to work pretty soon after we moved.

Places were doing online baby classes at least, but they weren’t that fun.

Sorry I sound so negative! I don’t mean to.. Newborn stage was full on. Get the first few months over you then look to broaden your horizons!

Get a good coat, a good sling and lots of walks!

I would recommend the book Naomi Stadlen
What Mothers Do: especially when it looks like nothing
It changed my mindset especially around the idea of 'productivity'

My friend who lives rurally had some sort of baby hiking group, I think she just put something on a local Facebook group to meet people.

Thank you everyone, great tips, feel free to keep ‘em coming.

Also to be clear, I know it won’t be a productive year and I need gentle expectations and so much is dependent on having an easy baby. However I also know that while I could very easily spend the days in PJs with box sets (so easily!) and I also know that in the long run I’d struggle with my mental health if I didn’t try for a little more variety. So this is more about protecting my mental health than wanting to achieve something x

Ps and I know there will still be many many days of pjs and box sets and that’s ok!

In my first maternity leave:

Lots of Amazon Prime binges/films with cuddles and feeds on the sofa with DD
Met some local mums during pregnancy and met for coffee/walks around shopping centres etc
Saw my parents (local & retired) a couple of times a week
Did Sling Swing- exercise class with DD in a carrier
Made purées for weaning and froze them all carefully
Baby cinema when she was really young

Second maternity leave (twins) - eldest at preschool 3/5 days:
Watched some TV in the early days when the babies napped
Twins formula fed not breastfed so prepping bottles took up more time
Joined a local buggy walking group to go out for walks
I take the twins to a local twins group and a playgroup
On poor weather days we’ve gone to garden centres for a potter round and looked at Christmas displays
Popping to the supermarket to buy baby clothes.
Lots of baby juggling involved! I miss having the relaxing snuggles on the sofa like I did with my first. I barely get 5 minutes to sit down now.

I prefer doing activities where I don’t have to commit- I couldn’t be bothered booking blocks of classes in case we ended up missing some due to clashing with baby’s nap time etc. in my experience babies are much more portable and more likely to sleep out and about up to 6m. After that I find they need more routine for naps & meals etc.

I didn’t achieve anything “productive” with my leaves other than raising a baby. It takes up a lot of time and energy and they’re 24/7! I wish I’d bought a special baby book for each to journal their firsts though.

We bought a caravan & spent 12 weeks in it, my the dh had been diagnosed with MS just before ds was born & had to give up work. We qualified for critical illness payout & spent a small amount on a touring caravan which we placed on a seasonal pitch. We had the best weather & spent time going for walks, fishing & just chilling & getting to know ds.

@KiwiDramaQueen

Thank you everyone, great tips, feel free to keep ‘em coming.

Also to be clear, I know it won’t be a productive year and I need gentle expectations and so much is dependent on having an easy baby. However I also know that while I could very easily spend the days in PJs with box sets (so easily!) and I also know that in the long run I’d struggle with my mental health if I didn’t try for a little more variety. So this is more about protecting my mental health than wanting to achieve something x

I would add to this that in my experience, you have an urge to get out and about after a period of time- once you’re recovered and able. It’s really long days just being at home, and my babies have always gotten bored just being at home once they’re a bit older, and going out, the fresh air and change of scene settles them.

With my first I spent time in the night when feeding etc to come up with questions for an epic Christmas quiz. Was an October baby. I also did some craft stuff later on which I hoped to sell... Never sold any hut doing my own thing with the support of my husband for a bit was rewarding.

My second was born start of the pandemic so we went for a lot of walks... Couldn't even go to playgrounds for the first few months. I did another craft project, the biggest one I have ever and will ever do. That wad really good for my mental health.

I am someone who needs to get to the end of the day and be able to say "I did this, this and this" to make me feel like I achieved something. It sounds like you're similar so just spending some time with your husband talking about the day each day will be beneficial to you probably. Now my eldest is 4, we talk about what we did at the end of each day (and say a prayer about our best and worst parts) which we both enjoy doing.

I am having my third baby end of January too. I feel another craft project will occur at some point... But I'm trying not to get sucked in to one until Christmas, finishing work mid Jan and a house move are done. Another thing I would add is to try and get the balance right between pushing yourself a little bit and also asking yourself "am I actually enjoying this or is there too much going on today for me to do this". You will find your balance though and have lots of good times on mat leave I am sure.

Hope it's great for you!

I've just finished work for my second maternity leave. I know it's going to be different second time around. Baby due mid January.

Pre baby arriving, I'm going to give the house a really good clean and get everything organised. Will also be batch cooking. With my first, I booked a few treats for myself like a pregnancy massage but just haven't got the time this time. Try and do some nice things with OH if you can.

Prepare for a rough few weeks recovering after birth and just do what you need to do. I'm hoping that part will be easier this time but DH is taking longer off after the birth this time seeing as I also need to juggle a toddler.

Do try and get out every day even if it's not a baby class. Know that in the early months they are much more for the mums than the babies. Look on Facebook for any local mum groups. Embrace box sets to get through the nights. Lower your standards.

If you do plan to breastfeed, know what support is around in your area. Breastfeeding can be really tough and poor support was a big part of the reason I didn't enjoy the early weeks. If I'd known about some of the support available, I think I'd have felt a lot better and also had people relating to how tough it was.

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP! I had a lockdown baby and walking has kept me sane. I get out every afternoon to walk her in her pram and stick and audiobook or podcast on while she naps. It stops me stressing about whether she’s going to nap well at home, gets me some exercise and some mental stimulation. Highly recommend an audible subscription or similar! I listened to a lot of parenting books like the Unmumsy Mum ones and My Child and Other Mistakes, I found them all really relatable and they made me feel less alone. Hiking I haven’t done so much of but you absolutely could, with a decent baby carrier. Again they’ll likely nap in it while you walk.

In general survival terms, I found it helped me on the tough days to focus on one good thing I’d done for my baby (could be as simple as making her a home cooked meal or cuddling her) and one moment of joy (her face on the swings, a laugh, etc). It helps to counter the moments I feel like I’m failing or not enjoying it.

You’ll be amazing, good luck x

Im a first time mum and 4 weeks into parenthood.
Ill be honest and say it has not been what I expected at all and I have found things very stressful because I set my expectations way higher then I should have!

Everyone told me to sleep when baby sleeps. Dont worry about cleaning the house. Stay in your PJ's all day. Watch alot of TV.
I never took any of this seriously.
I thought while baby sleeps ill continue my life as normal and it will all be ok because babies sleep alot right??

Complete opposite.

Honestly, stay in bed all day if you feel like it. There is no shame, especially in those early days when youre trying to establish feeding and getting to know each other.
Defo sleep when baby does. I was so sleep deprived by week 2 that I was unwell with it. In my mind i wanted baby to sleep all night like an adult. Nobody told me about cluster feeding though and what a killer it is. Get comfy, put the TV on or get a good book and bond with your baby.
Batch cook or get ready meals. Forget cooking a healthy dinner for a while.
Also forget sitting with your partner to eat. Share baby duties over dinner time so you both get a hot meal.
Try and leave the house daily for a walk. I only managed this today for the first time in a month! It helps to get out and about!

Look up local support networks too should you need them. Breastfeeding help is a must in some cases.

Set aside time when baby is relaxed to get supplies for the next round kf feeding so youre all stocked up and dont have to move!

The most important thing is enjoy your baby.
Ive spent alot of time in the last few weeks feeling down, useless and sad because ive had completely the wrong outlook on things.
Dont expect too much in the first few weeks. Dont make plans as such or set targets to get things done. Just enjoy time getting to grips with everything and most of all, enjoy your baby and the cuddles. They grow so fast, make the most of the precious time.
Congratulations!