How do you take baby home from hospital?

[jellybean13419]

This probably seems a daft question. But friends have told me you must take baby home from the hospital in a car seat and they don't let you leave with baby in your arms. We are planning on getting a birth to 4 years car seat that stays in the car permanently. So what's the process here? It must be fairly common as there are loads of this type of car seat on the market. Do you take your pram with you to the hospital and take baby out to the car park in that? Or do you have to have another car seat handy that you can take out the car? 🤔

We walked home from hospital with our first - my DH had him in a sling - and no one queried it. We lived three streets away. When we got back to the house, we stopped a passer by to take a photo of the three of us outside

It's fine to have it installed in the car, just do ensure it fits your baby, ours despite saying from birth was not suitable for a 6lb 3 baby

I actually took baby home in a taxi but in our own car seat, the driver helped secure it as I really didn’t know what I was doing as I didn’t have a car. We then kept that car seat if we ever put baby in a relatives car etc x

The car seat thing must be a myth because how would it actually work in practice? New parents walk out with their baby in a sling, are hospital staff going to stop them and prevent them from taking their baby home? Legally I’m guessing they would have zero rights or power to do this and it’s up to parents to decide how to take their own baby home.

We had/have a 0-4 seat in the car. In terms of the original question - the midwife wasn't worried about car seats. If I could have walked out I think everything would have been fine. As it was I was still in a wheelchair and wouldn't have been able to walk as far as the car and the idea of DH pushing the wheelchair while I held DD was apparently a problem. There wasn't much choice - couldn't leave her on the ward while he took me too the car and then came back for her, and couldn't put her in the car and leave her to come back for me. So in the end they let me carry her in my arms while DH pushed me.

In terms of other posters comments on car seats. At no point did I ever want a removable seat. I could carry DD but I wouldn't have been able to carry a seat while she was in it. We have a drive so it's all of 6 steps to put her in. If it was raining when we left or arrived somewhere I threw a blanket over her. In terms of waking her - I wouldn't have left her to sleep for ages in an infant car seat anyway, it's not safe. In terms of other people's cars - she occasionally went in her grandparents car and it really didn't take that long to move the seat. We once had an emergency where we had to go to the hospital in a taxi - legally you can hold a baby in arms in a taxi in an emergency so I did that. Not great and wouldn't like to do it often/travel far but needs must and all that.

I'm sure you will be fine with your little one.

@Iknewyouwerewaitingforme

People still not commenting on the fact these 0-4 year car seats are generally less safe for baby. Really no idea why you’d make life more stressful for you (I mean you’re trying to leave house in a hurry- so you faff around pitting baby in sling to walk out to car then faff around taking out of sling by the car/ why??!) as well as the fact not having car seat to use as a travel system definitely makes life harder. A lot of babies don’t last long in lie flat bassinets of prams as they just don’t like it. They’re then still too tiny to put in upright buggy seat... being able to use car seat during this stage is amazing. Also you’re definitely in the minority if you say you don’t travel/ ever use hire cars/taxis either!

I like that you're being very judgy about people using an 0-4 car seat, but apparently very much did not follow the advice about not keeping a newborn in a car seat for too long... It's really not recommended to use them instead of a pram and I have to say it makes me wince a bit when you see people wheeling a baby around town in a car seat

There are so many myths on this thread :o

0-4 years seats are not less safe. Why would they be?

Hospital staff definitely do not have training in car seats and they are not checking whether you have it used correctly. They are just following policy which probably came in in the 90s when car seats became a legal requirement. If one has checked this, it is likely they have their own children and therefore have done their own research. The vast majority of newborns are incorrectly secured in their car seats because it's terrifying to do up the straps tightly enough and you tend not to have the confidence with the seat to be adjusting it correctly, it can take several adjustments before they are in right which you don't want to be faffing around with, you just want to get home.

It's no harder to move a 0-4 years seat just because you have a young baby than it is to move them when the baby is between 1-3 years old. And that's what you need to do then. It's perfectly possible to put them into other cars despite an infant carrier being easier.

@PerspicaciousGreen

Please ask your midwife at your next appointment what your hospital's policy is! You might be surprised!

In my first hospital, they asked how we were getting home. I said my mother was picking me up, and the car seat was fixed in her car. No problem, the midwife helped me wheel baby down to the front door in the little magic rocking aquarium cot (people who have given birth will know what I mean!) and helped me get the baby into the car.

Second hospital... oh boy... We were discharged and told we could leave when we were ready. Took a few minutes to pack up, and then husband carried the stuff and I carried the baby in my arms as we walked out of the ward. Said goodbye to the lovely delivery midwife as we passed the office by the door. "Wait, you can't carry your baby. Where's your car seat?" "In the car...?" Turns out their policy, which no one had mentioned, was that I wasn't allowed to carry the baby in my arms in case I collapsed, husband wasn't allowed to carry the baby in his arms in case he dropped her, magic rocking aquarium cot wasn't allowed to leave the ward. Car seat had to be brought to the baby. Well, this wasn't going to be possible as it was a big multi-age fixed-in one. After the midwife had got over the shock of our cavalier attitude to newborn safety, she had to call a colleague to cover her on the ward while she carried our baby in her arms down to the front entrance where my mother was waiting in her car.

I mean, obviously it wasn't a massive problem and we figured out a mutually acceptable solution without too much ado. But I felt like we were the first people she had ever encountered who were mad enough to think they could just carry their own baby .

I'm pregnant with #3 now and giving birth at the second hospital again. Given that we'll take a taxi in, I'm not taking the buggy with me in a taxi and having it sat in various corners of the hospital taking up space. So we've got to decide whether to wing it again like the badass free spirits that we are, or whether to bring a stunt car seat just to carry it downstairs and put it in the real car seat. But we've lost the newborn insert from the bucket seat that came with our travel system, so if they notice we might get in even more trouble, even though the real car seat would be waiting downstairs... And we don't have a newborn-suitable pram any more and don't want to buy one just for my mother to drive to the hospital!

I'm making it sound like a massive deal and it wasn't really. But no one had ever mentioned this "thou shalt not carry thy own baby!" rule to me before that moment so we (midwife and us) were all a bit flummoxed. If you've got room in the car and a suitable pram, chuck it in the boot for insurance. You might be feeling a bit doddery anyway, and it'll save your husband making two trips.

@PerspicaciousGreen imagine assuming you were allowed to carry your own baby 😮 terrible mother 😂😂 it’s a bit full on isn’t it? I do understand that Mums can maybe be a bit unstable with blood loss etc so I guess it’s just an extra safety measure 🙈

I took DS 1 for his second set of vaccinations in March. GP surgery is a 30 second walk from my front door so didn’t think anything of just carrying him (first set had been a nightmare with the pram - surgery has 10 steps up to the entrance, tiny awkward corridors etc). Walked into the nurses room carrying my DS for the second set and I swear she looked like she was going to keel over 😐 “where’s your pram?! You didn’t carry him here did you?”... “yes, I live next door” ... “so you just carried him like that?! OUTSIDE?!” 🤔🤣 he was well wrapped up and cosy, it’s not like I’d wandered down the street with him in a nappy or something 🙈 she was tutting and shaking her head as I left too! 🙈😂

@jellybean13419 we have these car seats. I left with my sons in my arms. Well, my husband had them in his arms. I was hobbling along post c-section.

I think even the most strict hospital isn’t going to except you to buy an additional car seat just to take the baby out. I’d take a photo of it beforehand so you can if asked show midwives. Or if they want they can inspect it but that’s the worst it will get.

I’d ask the midwife at your next appointment for the policy.

@SmidgenofaPigeon

Am I being TOTALLY stupid (I’m prepared to be told I am 😅) to think I can just push my baby hone in the pram?? We don’t have a car, we are in London and home is two tube stops home from the hospital. Do they make you go in a car? It seems nuts to faff around with an Uber to go three miles up the road.

Yes it’s what I did with the first two. I got so fed up during the first pregnancy of people telling me I “wouldn’t be allowed to” (what? Is hospital school?), that I didn’t mention it second time around and just did it again.

I think it’s almost an urban myth they started encouraging in the 90s to enforce the use of car seats. Which is OFC a great idea when you have a car.

This is normally because the hospital is responsible for the safety of every patient until they leave the hospital building. That's why people get wheeled out in wheelchairs even though they could walk - it covers the hospital in case the person fainted or fell over when walking out.

Same with baby - some hospitals are stricter than others, but the point is that the baby is/ was a patient in the hospital so it has to be seen to be safe until it leaves the building.

Missing points to thread but people don't take the car seat out of the car these days???

My car seats were in and out of the car multiple times each day.

Baby in seat, carry seat to car, arrive at supermarket, lift seat out of car and put in trolley etc.

How on earth do you manage lifting a baby in and out all day?

Lots of people still do that, button.

@ButtonMoony

Missing points to thread but people don't take the car seat out of the car these days???

My car seats were in and out of the car multiple times each day.

Baby in seat, carry seat to car, arrive at supermarket, lift seat out of car and put in trolley etc.

How on earth do you manage lifting a baby in and out all day?

It’s easier to lift a baby in and out of a car seat than to do a supermarket shop with a buggy etc.

Whatever you do to transport a baby m, you’re always at least one hand and a leg short, if you’re on your own.

It was only a fairly short period (15-20 years?) when toting a car seat around on your arm was the norm. Not terribly good for the baby’s back or the parent’s. Other than that, throughout history it’s been baby carriages of all varieties and baby holders on the back of cars. I remember one of my younger siblings being in a carrycot in the back seat, held in place by a seatbelt. All a bit worrying.

@ButtonMoony

Missing points to thread but people don't take the car seat out of the car these days???

My car seats were in and out of the car multiple times each day.

Baby in seat, carry seat to car, arrive at supermarket, lift seat out of car and put in trolley etc.

How on earth do you manage lifting a baby in and out all day?

Lots of people do find that easier. For me it was never the easier option. Carrying the baby to and from house to car and lifting them out into a sling, buggy or trolley seat was far less cumbersome than lugging the actual seat about.

We had a fixed in car seat for my last baby and the midwives were really arsey about letting us leave. They wouldn't let me carry her in my arms. I just sort of said tough we need to leave with the baby. In the end they got me a wheelchair and my husband pushed me holding the baby then we abandoned it as soon as we were out of sight and walked out.
So strange! What's the risk of walking carrying a baby? I'm hardly likely to drop her in the short distance to the car

Ours is a fixed in car 0-4 type seat. Baby born last year. I just put him in sling and walked out. Due to Covid dh wasn’t allowed back in ward either so was easier as well to have baby in sling, little every suitcase with all our stuff and my handbag. Met dh at the hospital doors.

Also it’s far lighter and better for your stomach muscles having just had a baby, to be able to just carry baby who weighs 3-4kg and fits snug in arms or sling, than carrying car seat of approx 5kg plus 3-4kg.

I was told by midwife I shouldn’t lift more than weight of baby the first 6 week at let stomach muscles have time to go back and not cause lasting issues. So no lifting car seat, no heavy laundry baskets, no lugging hoovers upstairs etc..

My twins were in NICU and they both had to have car seat tests before we could leave (we had to bring the car seat up to the ward, they were put in them to make sure they fit safely and had an apnoea monitor on). They were very small though, so I imagine this isn’t typical. If you had a baby in a similar situation they may want to do the same. Whether you’d have to agree or not I don’t know but I found it really reassuring to be honest.

@SmidgenofaPigeon the other thing to think about is that you don't know what time of day you'll be discharged. With my second, we were discharged at rush hour and I wouldn't have fancied the tube at all.

We live in London and don't have a car, it's generally absolutely fine but I would definitely recommend an uber or black cab back from the hospital.

We also found we used taxis a lot more once we had kids so car seats have been handy even though we don't have a car

@ButtonMoony

Missing points to thread but people don't take the car seat out of the car these days???

My car seats were in and out of the car multiple times each day.

Baby in seat, carry seat to car, arrive at supermarket, lift seat out of car and put in trolley etc.

How on earth do you manage lifting a baby in and out all day?

A baby on its own is much lighter than a baby in a car seat and it's not recommended that they stay in a car seat for long anyway so surely you'd have to take them out of the car seat a few times if you're doing a day out or something anyway?

We always just carried DS or put him in the flat pram or in a sling.

I did have a lift out car seat for DD and found it a real pain, heavy, awkward to manoeuvre and not needed anywhere but the car anyway as you can't leave them in there.

I'd recommend a spin 0-4 type to anyone, saved my back and I found it so much easier to get the baby in and out than to try and squeeze a bulky car seat out of tight parking spaces.

I agree with others saying that having a removable car seat is a boon, I can't imagine having to mess about getting a small baby in and out of a fixed car seat every time I popped to the shops, doctors, etc.

I always stuck to the two hours absolute max rule but the short drive to the supermarket, trundle round, and short drive back was about right for an hour nap when we were at the stage of having three little naps a day. She'd have woken up and been a grizzly nightmare if had to keep putting her in and out of the car seat.

Our doctor's surgery isn't great for access with a pushchair as they quite rightly keep the accessible facilities for those with mobility issues so we used to just unclip the car seat and carry her in that way. Lots safer than have a babe in arms, bag, doors etc to juggle-not literally hopefully!

But each to their own of course. DD is in a fixed spinny one now which is brilliant for her as a wriggly toddler but I would have despised it until she was too big for her first seat, I'm sure.

@ButtonMoony

Missing points to thread but people don't take the car seat out of the car these days???

My car seats were in and out of the car multiple times each day.

Baby in seat, carry seat to car, arrive at supermarket, lift seat out of car and put in trolley etc.

How on earth do you manage lifting a baby in and out all day?

It's obviously just what you're used to because I honestly can't imagine toting something as heavy as a baby seat around with me wherever I went, especially now that I also have a toddler to manage - I can honestly, hand on heart say I've never been in a situation with either of them as newborns where I thought 'the best thing to do here would be to unclip that massive heavy car seat and carry that around as well as them'

Had my dd 7 months ago in a birth unit. Car seat was one that stayed in the car, we carried baby out. No one really asked about a car seat. We were expecting a midwife to walk down with me and see the car seat but they didn’t. I haven’t used one that removes from car at all in 7 months, haven’t had the need (although me have been in lockdown).