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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Public transport: a rant

99 replies

lazycat · 18/07/2007 21:47

I am pregnant and HUGE. Why is it that hardly anyone lets me sit down on busses? I get on the bus and the people in seats often turn away or deliberately crane their necks out of the window, or start concentrating on their books intently, leaving me to be thrown around the bus and have my bump bumped by people pushing past... grrr!

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DarrellRivers · 18/07/2007 21:49

Which public transport network was it?
London?

Original poster
lazycat · 18/07/2007 21:49

Yup, London.

OP posts:
DarrellRivers · 18/07/2007 21:53

Have moved to provinces but always found the tube the worst when pregnant.
Young people sometimes tried to beat me to seat to sit down in rahter than standing back and letting me get to it, and I was 30weeks pregnant (on a small body)so very visibly pregnant
If i had seen you i would have given up my seat for you
Mind you , no-one gives up their seats for older people either these days

dassie · 18/07/2007 21:54

The seats at the front are for 'people less able to stand'.

I would point that out because often the people in the front rows are young and fit - anfd if not they'll tell you.

Also, this uses t work for me on the tube, if no one offers I would either stand rubbing my bumo and making 'pained' noises - that would freak people out, or on a crowded tube, stand with my bumo right in someones face whilst trying not to stand on their toes (!).

And before anyone says 'why didn't you just ask?', I did on a few occassions and I was either blanked or told that I wasn't sick.

MrsBadger · 18/07/2007 21:55

today I nearly said 'No, no, don't bother getting up, I'm only eight months gone.'

was too much of a coward though

DarrellRivers · 18/07/2007 21:57

I'd normally think of something clever to say once I'd got home

Original poster
lazycat · 18/07/2007 21:58

I feel like I should ask, but for some reason it's really difficult, especially when you're absolutely sure the people with seats have seen you and have already chosen not to give up their seats.

Wondered if people thought that I might be fat rather than pregnant, so therefore offended when they offered. But what the hell's wrong with giving up a seat for a fat person?

OP posts:
AlbusPercivalWulfricBrianSun · 18/07/2007 22:00

LC I found that men were the worst. The only people that ever stood up for me were women until I started takinga pregnancy book with me everywhere. I'd deliberately get it out and pretend to read it. Then people couldn't pretend they didn't realise I was pregnant or were afriad of offending me by asking!

Original poster
lazycat · 18/07/2007 22:04

Astonishingly enough, I tried the pregancy book thing and it didn't work.

True that men are the worst - the most generous are middle-aged women.

OP posts:
dassie · 18/07/2007 22:06

I actually found men in their late teens/early 20's were the best. Particularly those wearing hoodies or with punk hairstyles. Women of child bearing age are the worst.

AlbusPercivalWulfricBrianSun · 18/07/2007 22:07

Believe me it's the same once you have the baby and you're trying to get up/down the millions of steps the tube has with a pram. You'reso grateful when anyone helps because it's so unusual. It'ste worst thing about London IMO.

DarrellRivers · 18/07/2007 22:08

Once i had a pram i started asking young men to help me carry it...
No-one ever said no
particularly helpful were those who were with a girlfriend

RGPargy · 18/07/2007 22:12

I always help those with prams down or up the steps in London (well, i wouldn't now coz of my own growing bump). I hate it when lots of people just ignore these poor ladies struggling with their prams. I also always give up my seat for someone who is obviously gonna have trouble standing, including pregnant women and elderly people.

Manners cost nothing!! [Shines halo]

meandmy · 18/07/2007 22:12

you wait till you need to grow extra arms from your ass to get pram baby bags on the thing!

AlbusPercivalWulfricBrianSun · 18/07/2007 22:13

I always help too, as does DP, and before we had DS, but some people are horribly rude.

helenelisabeth · 18/07/2007 22:15

I find London is the worst place for anybody assisting you. Not sure why! I used to be an air hostess and you could guarantee that when I was anywhere but London, people would fall over themselves to help me with my bags etc but as soon as I set foot into Euston/Underground people seemed to fly past you without even caring if you were struggling with 7 bags!

dassie · 18/07/2007 22:18

I was once on the circle line. There were 9 men and me sitting down when an old man woth 2 walking sticks struggled on. None of the men offered so I did.

He said really loudly

"oh no, I can't take the seat of a lady - especially when there are so many gentlemen sitting down" we surveyed the scene of shoe watching and head burying! I insisted though and he sat but he wasn't happy!

dassie · 18/07/2007 22:20

Oh, and people who let their kids sit whn there is a pregnant or old lady. They will fit on your lap! (the kid - not the old personAnd a teenager can stand like the rest of us!

Original poster
lazycat · 18/07/2007 22:21

I play bass and spent ten years struggling to gigs on public transport before I got a car. It's astonishing how rude people are when you're carrying anything more than a handbag!

OP posts:
Holly29 · 19/07/2007 09:12

I totally sympathise, but I also have the answer. I am 30 weeks and a few weeks ago a friend gave me a London Underground 'Baby on Board!' badge which I now wear whenever I am getting a bus or the tube and I swear that since I have been wearing it, people always offer me a seat. This morning, I just marched up to the 'less able to stand' seats and stood there, and immediately all four people in the seats leapt up and offered their seat...

It's definitely worth it. Ask at the tube station or maybe look on ebay, I reckon.

Good luck! Until I got mine I had exactly the same problem, but this totally rocks.

Hersetta · 19/07/2007 09:21

I am just over 34 weeks and also have a baby on board badge (pick them up from a London Underground information desk)and it has varying degrees of success. No luck the last two mornings on the central line, but a nice lady gave me her seat on the victoria line on Tuesday.

So far the ratio is about 5 women give me there seats for every man who has offered. All those men who bury your eyes in a newspapers after seeing my bump should be ashamed - would you like your wife to struggle on the tube in warm weather?

saltireslytherin · 19/07/2007 09:30

I always get up and offer pregnant women or old people seats. Once though in Elgin I got up to give my seat to a pregnant woman and she turned and said really loudly "I'm pregnant, not disabled". So I sat down again

Dassie is right, it's usually the hoodie wearing teenagers or young men in their twetnies who are the most helpful, and older (by older I mean over 35) women who are the wrost

ggglimpopo · 19/07/2007 09:34

I once had a woman slam down her handbag on the seat next to her as it became vacant on a tram. I had a huge bump and was standing up. She beckoned to her husband to come and sit down. I charged over (think bison) and literally hurled the handbag in her lap and said 'I am 8 months pg. I have more of a right to this seat than he has. How very rude of you!"

She scowled and he strap hung over me for the rest of the trip.

dassie · 19/07/2007 10:04

I saw a pregnant woman turn down a seat in a rude way once. I don't think that helps the cause!

When I was pregnant my main fear on a crowded tube was that if it breaked suddenly I could have done serious damage to my bump, which wouldn't be so bad if sitting.

I think alot of people think it is just about tiredness etc but it is also about the safety of the baby.

GroaningGameGirly · 19/07/2007 10:09

To be honest, I don't always notice pregnant women because I always have my head stuck in a book or newspaper and don't look up from the moment I sit down until it's time to change trains! If I do see someone who needs a seat, then of course I give them mine, though.

Recently, I had 2 people offer me a seat on the same day. They obviously thought I was pregnant and I most certainly am not! Very kind of them and all, but I confess to having been a little offended. I'm a shorty but only weigh about 7 1/2 stone so I'm not exactly overweight. Must have been the way I was standing, I think!