Rude / unusual things people have said to you

[KayTee87]

What are the rudest / most unusual things people have said to you since becoming pregnant? I've had;

Was there nothing on TV that month? Some people plan their children thanks!

Was it planned? Erm no I got married 6 months ago and then suddenly forgot how to use contraception.

You're absolutely huge, you're going to have a massive baby! Ok I'm 18 weeks pregnant, have put on 2lbs and measuring just right but yeah I'm sure your informed comment makes sense.

Are they going to charge you extra to tan your stomach snigger snigger (from a work colleague). I replied no as my stomach is still a lot smaller than many people's...

Same work colleague told me to lose a few pounds (she's 3 stones heavier than me and the same height )

Also the belly rubbing arghh.. good to have somewhere to rant

[getyourselfchecked]

Wooden, someone actually said that from the other side of the road? WTF is wrong with people?

I have had 'Was it planned?' from people I barely know. 'Who is the father?' Again, from people I barely know.
My Granny says 'I can't believe you are pregnant. I just can't picture you with a baby. You are not at all maternal' ad infinitum, every time I see her. Actually pretty rude and shows she doesn't know me at all.

'How will you cope?' I am single and been in a very abusive relationship with a man who gives a fantastic impression to the rest of the world that he is a nice person. I grit my teeth and think 'I will 'cope' a lot better than if I was still with that abusive twat'.

I am nearly 40 with a good job (not that it matters, just for context).

[getyourselfchecked]

And I actually don't mind the constant comments on my size. I am totally fascinated with the changes to my body and the growth of the baby. Also quite like a bump-toucher (I haven't had many though).

[SunnyL]

Some of these are truly horrible and not light hearted at all. The one that sticks is the one where they asked if they'd give back their adopted child now. Wtf?!

Anyway here are 2 of mine

My dad is a retired GP: When I was a medical student we considered anyone over 25 to be an older mother. You would have been a totally ancient mother back then.

DHs grandmother: Oh I thought Sunny was one of those career women. Will she be giving up her job then?

[Woodenmouse]

get yep I love having my personal business yelled across the road!!

People can be so rude about personal situations without knowing the whole story!! You will do brilliantly on your own!

[SunnyL]

Oh and grandma to my (unmarried) sister:

Well I suppose it's the modern thing

Brother to my sister: I need some time to process this. Puts phone down and doesn't speak to her for another 6 months.

She was 26 and had been with her partner 9 years!

[WilLiAmHerschel]

Sunny that is just bizarre from your brother to sister. What happened in the started speaking to her after the six months processing?

[MetalMidget]

"Well, that's your career over with, they'll be rid of you like a shot." - my mother.

[Absy]

MANY from my DM. Thanks DM.
something along the lines of me being an "ancient" mother (I'm younger than she was when she had me, and yes, in an ideal world it would not have taken nearly 3 years to fall pregnant, but shit happens)

Hinting that now is the time to give up my career

Stories of her colleague losing twins at 25 weeks and then asking me (at 37 weeks - so full term) "if you had the baby now it would survive right?". This led to me having nightmares of losing the baby.

And this is why I refuse to speak to her right now.

One colleague "oh you're MASSIVE" (when I was around 25 weeks, and really not that big). Another colleague referring to me as "heavily pregnant" at around 20 weeks.

Baristas saying "do you want decaf?" when I order coffee. As if ..

[KayTee87]

I know, some of these are terrible. I feel quite lucky with the comments I've had so far now.
I cant stand bump toucher's, why would anyone other than my husband feel the need to touch me? I'm not a touchy feely person at all so just wish ppl would ask first

[Spock27]

I'm getting more tired of the comments from people who already have children who seem to assume that I've wandered blindly into being pregnant and have not considered that it will change my life and be difficult at times. All parents are first time parents at some point, why keep shitting on it for everyone else?

"Oh you've no idea what you're getting into"

"You've got this all to look forward to" after a story about being up all night, usually involving some bodily fluid.

And the smugness when they talk about people who don't have children being ignorant, does my head in!

[KayTee87]

Oh I know spock I have a few 'friends' like that. One of them actually said she finds it hilarious when people without children complain they're tired, they don't know anything about being tired. That week I was 10 weeks pregnant, absolutely exhausted, sick, had clocked up 60 hours of work and still had my disabled grandparents to take out (oh and my 16 year old dog probably wakes me up more than your 5 yo does)

[Sparklycat]

When I told one of my friends about my second pregnancy the first thing said was 'does this mean you'll be giving up working then'?
I still can't decipher what on earth she was thinking when she said that. So rude!

[Postchildrenpregranny]

Iremember standing in the staff room at work ,heavily pregnant ,with a cup and saucer (quaint) balanced on the bump.Baby kicked , cup rattled in saucer and you could see the ripples.Two male colleagues,married but not fathers were absolutely riveted .I asked if they'd like to feel (inhibited,me? ) It was a bit bizzare but rather sweet.They were so thrilled (both went on to have DCs so it obviously didn't put them off)
I dont recall a single negative or intrusive comment when pregnant .It was 30 years ago though ....

[malvinandhobbes]

This is our third baby with a 10 year gap from our current youngest. My husband has fathered all three children. Three times we have tried to get pregnant and three times we have been successful.

Nearly EVERY single person has said:

On purpose?
How did that happen?
Were you surprised?
Was this expected?

As much as I would have loved a witty retort I never managed. DH came up with "Yes (eye roll), we're adults. We understand how birth control works." But that came late in the process. It was extraordinary how much likely people were to ask me rather than DH.

At work last week a male colleague tried to get me to talk about my birth plan in the crowded lunch room. I was speechless and finally managed "I am not going to talk to you about that."

[malvinandhobbes]

In fact the rudest thing came from 10 year old DS, after I bent over in yoga trousers.

"Oh my God Mum, your bum! It's huge"

I told him it was to balance out the front. I forgive him because he is 10 and he is trying his hardest not to be mad at us for having another baby. (I think is father had a quiet word after)

[Radiatorvalves]

"You bitch!"

This was at a friend's wedding when I was 36 weeks. I was wearing a black dress and from the front it wasn't immediately obvious I was pg. she was equally pg, but was suffering a lot with swollen ankles. I sympathised and turned around and nearly hit her with my bump.

I was wearing strappy sandels and had normal ankles. I think it was a reasonable response. 😆

[charliedontsurf]

I had:

"Was it planned?" - pretty much everyone. I'm 30 and have been married for 3 years...

"Oh god you're MASSIVE, much bigger than I was at term. Are you sure there's only 1 in there?" - someone at work who has never spoken to me before. I was 17 weeks pregnant and a size 12.

"I can't picture you as a mum, I always thought you'd just have lots of cats" - someone else at work who never speaks to me. What an arse.

"Do you think you'll shit yourself when you're in labour?" - asked just after the comment above. Seriously, who even wants to know?!

"Are you going to breastfeed?" - my boss. He's a 50-odd year old man who is like a father figure. He also told me all about when his wife had their 2 kids!

DD is now 10 months old and all I get now is when will you stop breastfeeding and you should leave her to cry, she's manipulating you

[whifflesqueak]

when my dp told his mum I was pregnant she asked him solemnly if he was the dad!

in her defense, she had never met me.

I'm now 36 weeks with dc2 and every time I clean the bathroom or fold a load of laundry I get dp crooning about "nesting".

no I'm not bloody nesting. that would imply a sudden burst of energy and purpose. what I'm actually doing is grimly getting on with all the tedious tasks I've been putting off. grr.

[KayTee87]

Postchildrenpregranny that is quite a nice memory and equally nice that they waited to be invited before grabbing your stomach (as I've had :()
My mum thinks people are ruder / more inquisitive now because social media has taught them that nothing is private - don't know if it's true, might be.

[Absy]

I was warned about people trying to touch the bump, but so far I've only had one stranger do that (maybe because I have permanent "fuck off" face), but I have heard of people continuously being groped in supermarkets.

Weirdly, when we told DH's family (french) the first question was always whether or not I would be breast-feeding. I don't know if maybe his family is just super into my breasts, or it's a cultural thing. No one in my family has asked.

[ILostItInTheEarlyNineties]

Boss (When pregnant with 2nd): Have you found out what's causing it yet?

MIL (when overdue): You look like you've eaten a sofa.

Most of my mum friends: Did I tell you about my awful birth experience?(launch into a horror story, no details spared)

[Flossiesmummy]

Endless comments about my size. I wear a 10-12 but have polyhydramnios (extra waters) so my bump is large and very firm and round.

I'm fully aware that I'm big, thank you! Have only gained 3lb at 20 weeks though so it's hardly like it's all fat

Now if anyone touches the bump uninvited I touch their stomach and gently stroke it too! They quickly realise how weird/awkward/invasive they're being and back off.

[5hell]

yes I love those comments too spock - it would be nice if a pregnent woman could just comment she's tired without the (apparently) requisite "oh it's preparing you for when the baby comes" or "oh you think you're tired now!?"

[xalyssx]

When I told my granny that I was pregnant she said "oh no, how will you cope? This is so stressful for me, I have to go and take an aspirin" then hung up on me. My mum's response wasn't much better! Thankfully my dad and in laws were over the moon - and I did cope

[goodnightdarthvader1]

Spock, I'm sick of those comments too.