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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Good things about a newborn/ new motherhood?

67 replies

gertrudestein · 14/07/2013 14:31

So I'm 8 days overdue with dc1, and realistically have to face up to the fact that the baby wil be here sooner rather than later . I've had a difficult pregnancy and although I can't wait to meet the baby, I'm worried about PND and how Dh and i will cope with the lack of sleep and general chaos. We are as prepared as we can be with baby stuff and advice but I'm very scared --- everyone is keen to tell us how hard it's going to be.

Can anyone give me some good news? What is nice about being a a new mum? What did you enjoy about having a new baby? I know it will be hard but surely there must be some good bits?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

purrpurr · 14/07/2013 18:50

Tips = tops.

KnittedC · 14/07/2013 19:00

I'm feeding my 4mo DD as I read this thread. If you're anything like me OP then your baby will be the best, most important, most significant, joyous and wonderful thing you've ever done. Everything else in life takes a back seat to your new little mate.

The lack of sleep can be tough, the constant feeding can be tough, the hormonal changes, hair falling out, post baby body can be tough.

But actually, when your baby looks in your eyes, who really cares about all that. When their thighs start to get chubby and you squeeze them so much you have to stop yourself; when they smile for the first time and you just know it's not wind; when people stop you to look in the pram and your heart swells with pride, any 'downsides' are instantly all forgotten.

Enjoy your baby, it will fly past

Thesebootsweremadeforwalking · 14/07/2013 19:06

Despite the sleep deprivation, the loveliest thing about newborns is just sitting and cuddling them as they sleep. The world feels like a very much simpler place when you have a newborn IMHO as nothing else really matters.

Thesebootsweremadeforwalking · 14/07/2013 19:19

Actually, I've changed my mind - the loveliest bit is all the gazing into your newborn's eyes while they gaze back at you, especially during feeding!

lozza22 · 14/07/2013 19:55

putting it bluntly you will never be so tired and busy in your life as when your baby arrives but neither will you have ever felt a love like it. the moment they appear u feel such an wll consuming feeling and it just gets better x

Slainte · 14/07/2013 20:05

Oh I'm so jealous of you, I loved the newborn stage. All that cuddling and not being able to believe how wonderful this child that you created is.

Your hormones will give you the energy to get through the nights, don't worry about that. When you have a bad day, just remember that all you need to do is survive that day. Just make sure you and baby sleep and eat, don't worry about showering, housework etc. When I'd had a rough night, before he left for work, DH would make me a packed lunch and put it in the fridge for me to have later, this is a tip I give to other new parents too as it made all the difference.

SuffolkNWhat · 14/07/2013 20:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StrawberrytallCAKE · 14/07/2013 20:38

Snuggling with the baby on the sofa watching box sets whilst dozing in and out of sleep and having cups of tea and food that I didn't have to make myself.

When they wake in the night and at first you're really tired but then you see their beautiful little face and a huge rush of love comes over you.

Original poster

gertrudestein · 15/07/2013 15:20

thanks, ladies!

OP posts:

gillybeandramaqueen · 15/07/2013 20:03

I'm first time mum due in 8 weeks and I too am sick oc being told how hard it will be etc etc etc...

gillybeandramaqueen · 15/07/2013 20:04

...thanks so much for posting this... was great to read all the lovely comments xxx

KeepTheFaithBaby · 15/07/2013 20:53

The lows are pretty low...but the highs are incomparable to anything else!

Definitely ask for skin-to-skin when baby arrives. My DD went from frantic to calm instantly - she just knew me and knew she was safe :)

I found the first couple of weeks tough going if I'm honest. DD was low birth weight and very, very hungry! Bit somewhere along the lines I started to understand what she was asking for, understanding the difference between hungry and tired cries. Now she's 3 months, every day I look at her growing and changing and can't believe we made her!

Best things are: sniffing their tiny newborn heads

looking at their teeny fingernails
first smile
every smile after that
smiles when they see you for the first time on. The morning

Sleepy cuddles

If you're looking for something to read, I'd reccomend What Mothers Do. Reassured me that my approach to my baby was the right one!

richtea12 · 15/07/2013 21:05

So reassuring to read these messages. I'm 14 weeks and worrying about what life will be like. How does everyone find their partners are coping? I'm worrying about how mine is going to be with crying and lack of sleep.

Futterby · 15/07/2013 21:07

I'm 20+2 with my first and honestly just can't wait for peanut to be here, even more so after reading this :) thank you :)

KeepTheFaithBaby · 15/07/2013 21:14

rich DH found it tough because I struggled with BF but staunchly refused to give her a bottle until feeding was established at 3 weeks. I know express so he gets 'Daddy hour' with bath and bottle 6-7 and I get time to myself. Today I nipped to the shops on my own :) We found separate beds helped the first few weeks - he got unbroken sleep and I could feed at night with a light to help latching. After a certain point we suddenly realised we felt like co-parents not a couple! Then we started sharing a bed again. I love it when I overhear him talking/singing to her and realise just watch a great Dad he is :)

karinmaria · 15/07/2013 21:18

My DH had a good paternity leave (he took a month off) as he was with me and baby all the time and therefore was learning with us both. It was hard for him when he went back to work as he felt like his son didn't know him or recognise him and found the crying suddenly difficult to handle.

DS is now 14 weeks and DH makes him smile and coo and chatter like no one else - they've got their bond back!

I should mention the first night home with baby was the worst. Ever. He screamed and cried and I didn't know why and I'd had 3 hours sleep in 48 hours. We worked together as a team to let him sleep on one of us (after 9 months inside you your baby will want to be near you), change him and I fed him.

The feeling of "we did it!" the next morning was immense

Futterby · 15/07/2013 21:18

Stop it KeepTheFaithBaby, making me blub! He sounds like a great dad :)

KnittedC · 15/07/2013 21:23

My DP sleeps through the baby waking up even though she's still in our room, but if I need him to help he's always willing to be woken up.

He was fantastic from the first moment we met her, and he's so in love with her that the crying, sleep deprivation, not being able to go out to dinner wherever we want etc, doesn't faze him. On his days off he is so keen to get his hands on her that he changes her, holds her while we eat, bathes her...

It's made me love him on a whole different level.

MissAntithetic · 15/07/2013 21:24

For me the best thing was contentment.

I was absolutely exhausted I was sore from my emcs, I was scared witless because I didn't know what to do, I was anxious of all the usual cot death, bf, jaundice worries.

My over all feeling was pure contentment.

I can actually remember sitting looking at her and thinking "so this is what I've being missing"

Then every day your confidence grows, your baby grows and now ten months on I can't wait for each morning because each day how much I love her increases, every day I think I couldn't possibly love her more but then I do the next day.

It's so hard to describe but its great. Just mske the most of the snuggles because dd is so independent now she wants to be off exploring all the time!

MissAntithetic · 15/07/2013 21:32

Also you manage so much better than you ever imagine.

If you had told me I would have been Ok after 20 minutes sleep in 4 days I would have laughed.

If you had told me that I would sooner miss the chance of sleep than to let anyone else look after her I would have laughed.

If you had told me my new days would have started at 6am finished at midnight and still being woken three times a night at 10 months I would have told you there was no way I would manage but I have more energy than ever before.

All your relationships change. My relationship with my parents has changed. I'm an equal adult to them now (sounds daft but I feel that way) they totally respect she is my dd and I call the shots which I wasn't expecting.

My dp has been the biggest shock. He wasn't really that interested in the pregnancy ( not in a nasty way just not as excited etc as me) but he was amazing during a very traumatic birth he held us all together when it was touch and go for dd and he dragged me through it. Since then seeing this big clumsy man who can't carry a cup without breaking it, looking after our tiny daughter with ease and confidence made me love him more. Now seeing her little face light up when he comes in the room and hearing her whispering "da da" when she hears him in another room its just amazing. I knew he would be a good dad but I was not prepared for how good he would be.

Ill stop gushing now.

KeepTheFaithBaby · 15/07/2013 21:58

Futterby sorry! I forget how the hormones set you off! He is a great Dad :)

newbie6 · 15/07/2013 22:26

My wee one is 6mths old and like you, I was terrified before he was born as everyone tells you that you get no sleep, your life isn't your own, blah blah blah. I promise you I was clueless, wouldn't even have known how to change a nappy! Anyway, it was fine I promise! Your instincts will kick in and as others say, smile and nod when everyone tells you what to do and then go and do what YOU want. My baby is a great sleeper, we still have a life and it is now enriched by having his gorgeous wee smiley face in it :) I'm sure you will be the same and the only thing I would say is people offer to help by cooking for you or cleaning or letting you get some sleep if you need it, take it! Xxx

Original poster

gertrudestein · 16/07/2013 06:40

Am currently in the early stages of labour - reading this and smiling! I can't wait to meet my LO, and I can't wait for Dh to meet him too!

OP posts:

KnittedC · 16/07/2013 06:53

Oh wow best of luck! Enjoy every minute of your new baby. At the end of it all, family is everything x

TeaOperated · 16/07/2013 06:56

Good luck Gertrude!

I was amazed after DD was born 3 months ago - I was expecting it to be so hard. I'd prepared for the bad stuff but not the huge amounts of love I'd feel, and just how brilliant she is.

Try to get a wee bit of rest now if you can and tell us when you have your beautiful baby!

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