Blood boiling after hospital appt today - sorry long one

[babyhmummy01]

Ok, so I arrived in plenty of time for my 0830 apt, there was no one in the waiting room and yet they still managed to be 10 mins late, so I can forgive that, my DBIL is a surgeon so I know they can be called away or in meetings that run over etc, but am called through by a Maternity Assistant (I believe they are just HCA's?) who calls out "Mrs Babyh" it never even registered it was me as I am Ms not Mrs so took a few minutes. I politely corrected her that I am Ms not Mrs and was rudely told "Well we call everyone Mrs here" This has not been my past experience with the hospital as they have either called me by my first name or Ms Babyh so was not a great start. Then the Consultant barely had 2 words to say to me, anaesthetist wasn't available so had to wait for the on call one to be paged - sorry but YOU made the apt so why the heck wasn't he there for my 0830 apt.

He was ok but very strongly insisting and bordering on demanding I had no choice over labour other than an epidural which I REALLY don't want. I explained to him that unless absolutely medically necessary I did not want an epidural as the thought of being out of control, on a bed, unable to move terrifies the life out of me. He reluctantly agreed but due to my asthma and allergy to pain meds I can only have that or Entenox which I said was fine. He listened to my chest and said I could leave the hospital but never gave me my notes back.

I called in at the reception desk to ask how I got my notes back and a different Maternity Assistant to above said she would go and find them for me. Then out of the blue the rude assistant appears and barks at me that I can leave as the Doctor has finished with me and I don't need to be there. I tried to politely (through gritted teeth) tell her that I needed my notes to which I was told "well she has just told you she is getting them" - Queue my blood really starting to boil at this point.

The nice MA came back with my notes and muttered that as discussed with Consultant I was now under MW led care, I explained that nothing of that ilk had been discussed and that the as the anaesthetist was demanding epidural and possibly spinal for a c section if my asthma is still bad when I go into labour then I needed to be consultant led so off she trotted to confirm...am I wrong to be really annoyed and quite upset by this whole debacle?! I am considering writing to the hospital and complaining but not sure if I am taking it too muh to heart...please help

[TobyLerone]

:o You really are being arsey. I am now completely unsurprised at your experience.

Good luck!

[babyhmummy01]

no tobylerone just getting fed up with your unhelpful, rude and inflammatory accusations

[ditavonteesed]

you have to see that your wording was inflammatory, you were really annoyed that someone called you mrs instead of ms, some people may be annoyed at being called just a HCA. You do understand that there are just HCA's on here dont you?
I am sorry that your care is not clear at this point, but that is what you should be focusing on.

[babyhmummy01]

no ditavonteesed I was annoyed at the surly attitude I got for correcting the MA if you read my post, I also clarified that I meant no offence but was checking they are just HCA's and not nurses or Doctors if you care to reread

[ditavonteesed]

if that is the case why the need to even mention that she was just a HCA?

[Justfornowitwilldo]

Pick your battles and accept that though the standard of actual care is high in the NHS the organisation of appointments, attitude of some staff and coordination is often not great.

[Boosiehs]

Cherist almighty. Surely the confusion about care and the @rsey MA are the concerns here???

OP - I have asthma and was told at first by the MW that I had a very high risk pregnancy (am also overweight) and that there was no way I was having anything other than a birth on the labour ward - and probably pumped full of drugs and strapped to the trolley with monitors. Also note all the major things that were going to go wrong (none of which have BTW).

When I finally saw the consultants (who were late for appointments but meh - it happens), they were incredibly reassuring. They said they had never had problems with women with asthma in labour - not even with much mroe severe cases than mine. As far as the last consultant I saw (at 33+5 weeks), he said if it was up to him I'd be allowed to go to the birthing centre (downstairs from the labour ward) but that entry to that was in teh control of the midwives and not him!

Oh and ask about "mobile epidural" or "partial epidural". They offer it at my hospital (UCH London), and it means you can walk around/stand up but without pain. Sounds too good to be true....

[babyhmummy01]

I would have thought so Boosiehs but apparently not!

The concern with mine is that I am violently allergic to Codeine so Pethadine and Diamorphine are complete no no's without the asthma, but the anaesthetist has ruled them out as unsafe with my asthma as it reacts badly to anything stronger than paracetamol (hospitalised last year after orthopaedics put me on Naproxen). He said that under other hospitals partial or mobile epidural could be used but my hospital don't use it so its a full one or nothing. The idea of the whole strapped to the bed, unable to move etc just terrifies me and my anxiety over birth etc is high enough without making it worse. Mind he was implying that if I present in labour as I have today with my asthma it will be EMCS anyway which is why he said my care would remain consultant led - seems daft that a registrar would say MLC when at that point I hadn't seen the anaesthetist but as far as I can tell he has crossed out MLC on my notes and the hospital when I rang earlier confirmed I am still on their system as CLC so feel slightly reassured.

[HolidayArmadillo]

CLC and MLC is a bit of a misnomer really as all he probably meant by it was you did not need to come back to him again and your care could be given by midwives from this point on. It wouldn't affect anything at all once you presented on delivery suite in labour, CLC patients don't get anything over and above MLC, lots of our women start out CLC, see a consultant (or reg), discuss their issues and then default back to MLC. I hope everything works out for you.

[Boosiehs]

If its likely you'll have EMCS have you considered asking for ELCS? It would at least put you in control of what happens?

Then again I quite like hospuitals and consultants. I've not personally had a bad experience and don't particularly have any *ahem" hippie ideas about birth. Modern medicine is there for a reason as far as I am concerned!

Good luck!

[babyhmummy01]

lol @ 'hippie ideas' Boosiehs Frankly I just want her born with as little long term damage to me as possible - both emotionally and physically! I had toyed with the ELCS idea as I suspected they may say this would be my only option due to the health issues, I guess I need to talk to my MW again and then ring the antenatal clinic and ask for an apt with my actual consultant to discuss. If the spinal drug for that is the absolute safest for me in terms of asthma then that is the sensible thing to go with IMO, but I was kinda expecting them to have other alternatives for medical pain relief than epidural or nothing iyswim. I am not sure I like the idea of being high as a kite on laughing gas tbh and the bull about fancy lights, etc just seems daft to me. About the nearest I will get to hippie is possibly using the birthing pool as the bath is the only thing easing the BH at the moment!

[babyhmummy01]

holiday my day to day care has been community midwife led but my hospital care for labour has to be consultant due to the risk of respiratory arrest and the need to have access to pure oxygen, nebulisers and if needs be the crash team - our MLC birth centre is beautiful but is at their own admission not set up to handle anything other than completely normal delivery. His notes and comments to the nice MA were that my delivery could be MLC which was what worried me. He has changed it to review at term but that still worries me.

I will talk to my DP and discuss the ELCS option etc but I guess part of me (however terrified) wants to be able to deliver naturally albeit with some pain relief if available

[x0gawjus0x]

don't know why everyone is biting at you babyhmummy01 I am EXTREMELY angry atm due to hormones not saying you are but by some of responses I am such a quite and shy person but since ive been pregnant I get so soso angry lol its quite scary actually even about little things o.o

anyway..
I don't think the name thing would bother me just to put it out there, however if she said to me "well she has just told you she is getting them" after she asked what I was still doing there id of turned around and said well then you f*ing know why i'm still here cocky bitch! gosh how dare she speak to you like that how un professional of her I am a nurse and if people have attitude toward me I still smile and do my best to make everything as clear as possible! Ugh I would be extremely annoyed if I were you......... hope you managed to calm down a bit bet you are looking forward to your next apt! lol x

[Queazy]

Two non-issues for me - the 'Mrs' bit and the waiting - these happen. Pick your battles.

Telling me I can go, and getting my midwife or consultant led details wrong would annoy me. It sounds like you did the right thing and stood your ground until they clarified it. I've found a few of the staff at my hospital a bit rude or abrasive, but I do think they have to deal with a lot of flak. If it looks a bit disorganised (due to busyness and resourcing) then I think they feel it all the more having to work there.

You're right to be annoyed but do pick your battles. Posting about the smaller details, probably aren't going to get you empathy with some on here, and could just leave you feeling even more crappy about the day.

Sunshine and chocolate

xx

[babyhmummy01]

x0 my hormones are making me cry a lot but so angry, I was just really gobsmacked that after being politely corrected she got really rude and then interjected in something that was nothing to do with her later!

queasy chocolate triggers my HG unfortunately but have had a chilled cuppa and a rant with my mate in her garden whilst trying not to pee myself laughing at her 2 year olds antics in the paddling pool...lets just say the phrases "more water mummy" and "more water babyh" were wearing very thin as she found it hilarious to wait til we filled it and then use her toys to empty it all over the garden again

[ditavonteesed]

glad your feeling better, heat and pregnancy do not mix for starters, for the record I can understand why you were annoyed, but as the wording mrs/ms upset you the wording just a HCA upset me as I am just a HCA and you would be suprised how often that is used to make an assumption about my education and intelligence levels. Also for the record I would never speak to a patient in that way.

[babyhmummy01]

ditavonteesed as I said, I meant no offence just wanted to be sure that the MA is equivalent to HCA and not a nurse/doctor hence the question mark and the subsequent clarification - I admit the use of the word 'just' could be read the wrong way and I apologise for that. I have a friend who is a HCA and a bloody good one, she started her nursing degree but actually found she didn't enjoy the politics etc and decided that the connection HCA's get with the patient was where her love was so I have a huge respect for you all providing - as with anyone - you are polite and not rude when an error is politely corrected.

[Ashoething]

I don't blame you for being annoyed about the consultant but the Ms thing?-meh. I was told in my last pregnancy that I would be mwl care despite being classed as very high risk. I subsequently ended up in hospital with a bleed and threatened premature labour and I demanded to be put back under consultant care.

Put your complaint in writing and they will take it more seriously.

[Silver15]

Babyh, I think you are rude. You lost my sympathy with just HCA and also you should remember that even those who work in the NHS are human and experience emergencies that may mean they can not attend the appointment. Even robots crash.

[babyhmummy01]

try reading the rest of the thread Silver15

[BeckAndCall]

I cannot believe you have referred this to the CQC because you were called Mrs instead of Ms.

Unbelievable over reaction. They are dealing with serious issues of sub standard care and dneglected patients and you're asking them to leave that aside and look at this? Words fail me.

[babyhmummy01]

I referred it due to the attitude and the cock up over my being CLC or MWLC not because of Mrs v Ms - will people please actually READ the thread instead of picking out what they think it says so they can flame me!

[BeckAndCall]

That is not what you said OP. you said ' I have referred this to the CQC as our hospital has a history of crappy bedside manner'. Top of this page.

[babyhmummy01]

they do and screwing up my care counts as crappy bedside manner. I was told to refer it to the CQC by a qualified nurse end of