why is there so much pressure to breast feed??

[blondebaby111]

Just that really??!!! At my first midwife app it was thrown In my face abit when I said I wasn't sure yet if I would but I'd feel more comftable doing both. Why are you made to feel like its such a crime. I'm only 12 weeks so have alot more appointments where this will be brought up.

I have friends who have breastfed and have had miserable babies that rarely settle, they are completely flustered with it and some verge on pnt because of all the pressure. Yet the friends that haven't breastfed or done both seem to have happy babies, they are a lot more happier in themselves and generally just so relaxed. So my views are mixed on this.

I don't want to start a debate but I just wish we could all make our minds up without midwives frowning or thinking its bad if we choose not too....just saying!!!

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Stealth don't let it get to you. Some people will use any means they deem appropriate to defend their position, even when no-one is actually attacking them.

[StealthPolarBear]

Oh erm sorry not me at all (well not mainly)

[Ashoething]

Some wonen CANT bf-whats so hard to grasp about that?

[StealthPolarBear]

Nothing at all - fact grasped before I came onto this thread. I'm sorry you went through that, and glad you had plenty of support.

[StealthPolarBear]

"The midwives will expect you to use a car seat to transfer your baby home. Will you see this as pressure? They expect it because it is the safest for your baby. Just as breastfeeding is safer for your baby."

Amazinggg, do you have a dictionary to hand? Look up the word analogy. Things may become clearer.

[Ashoething]

That comment was not aimed at you stealth.I was indeed v lucky as had bf counsellor and was kept in hosp for 10 days to establish bf.After a week at home I still gave up because bf midwife said so and my dc had lost weight.I did the right.thing for my dc and wont be made to feel guilty for it.Baby wearing is not for me.

[shufflehopstep]

I think you're either unlucky and have a very bossy midwife or you are reading things into what the midwife is saying. I never felt pressured either way. Obviously they recommend breastfeeding over formula but nobody says that formula feeding is bad - just that it's second best. I chose to bf but when I was struggling, the mw in hospital asked if I wanted to try formula while I expressed to try to get my milk to come in. My DD was mix fed until 7 weeks when I finally managed to overcome the issues and she was then bf until about 2 weeks ago. She's now 13 months old and has yet to have a day's sickness and sleeps through the night.

If you're after anecdotes, I was bf until I was 10 months old and have rarely been ill in all of my 36 years. A couple of the usual childhood diseases and a few colds and that's it. DH and DSIL were bottle fed and have both had a myriad of health problems all through their lives. DH was actually off sick for almost a year a few years back with heart problems which were triggered by a faulty stomach valve. Who's to say whether these things are connected?

I also have to agree with noblegiraffe; a baby's temperament bears little relation to the feeding method.

[looseleaf]

Do also bear in mind allergies are reasonably common which is worth having at the back of your mind whichever way you feed your baby.

I breastfed happily but didnt realise DD strongly dairy intolerant and just thought motherhood was extremely stressful as she was sick a lot etc. I breastfed for 2.5 years as was so hard to stop and still hope it did some good but if only I'd known to cut out dairy from my diet. It upsets me!

DS is similar but I cut dairy from my diet so he's thriving rather than finding life hard as she did :( if I eat dairy his poos contain dried blood (sorry tmi) and he comes out slightly spotty.

If it was formula maybe if have tried a different one and realised, I don't know.

Sorry, a bit irrelevant in a way but it was so important to me when we'd had no allergies in the family before I wanted to mention it as an extra thing to be aware of whichever way you feed your baby!

[StealthPolarBear]

Fair enough. Apologies. I just knew someone would fail to read that post about smoking properly and use it to score points. Because it happens every time. Despite the fact it is about evidence based advice and policy in general.

[doublecakeplease]

Ashoe - i totally get your frustration. Lots of people on here believe that bf is essential and will not accept that some women can't.

Support is a major issue. DS was in scbu then on a ward for quite a while so i had lots of 'help'. This included my aforementioned comment about being forced to pump. Also:
DS came home briefly when we thought he was ok. We were woken by bf coordinator at 8am who demanded that a just fed DS was women to feed because she needed to see him feed. She was sent packing but tried to book in for 3pm the next day as uf u could guarantee he'd be being fed then

Some scbu nurses 'allowing me' to demand feed whilst i was there (18 hours most days) and some insisting on topping him up with tube feeds

Being tweaked t see if i could 'produce properly' even though DS was using nipple shields so you could see my milk

Bf coordinator rubbing seriously ill DS on the leg and telling him 'we know mummies milk is best' after i tearfully told her that the consultants had asked me to stop feeding him because my meds had made him so ill.

[Smerlin]

I would be interested to know how many women in certain third world countries can't breastfeed. Surely the number who truly can't must be tiny as everyone has to persevere through the difficult stages or their baby will die. Obviously we are lucky in the UK to have a choice but surely that choice should be reserved as a safe last resort for those who truly can't bf rather than used as a lifestyle choice. Mammals are designed to be fed on milk of their own species- end of story.

I am pg with my 1st so no idea of how hard bf will be for me but I will try my damnedest as I know it's best for my baby. I am glad formula is there so my baby will thrive no matter how I get on but I certainly hope I do not have to use it.

[charlottehere]

Do what you want nd ignore if you can.

[loopydoo]

As a soon to be student MW and previous bf peer supporter, I can honestly say it doesn't take statistics to explain that human mums should breastfeed human milk to human babies...

However, because formula substitutes were introduced, mums now have the choice. The NHS promotes breastfeeding because they know that it's the best way to feed a human baby but if you are not comfortable (for whatever reason) breastfeeding, then you can choose not to. It may seem to you as if some HPs may be putting on the pressure (and I'm sure some are but in their minds it's best for your baby) but at the end of the day, you can do what you want - without feeling any guilt.

I actually wrote in my birth plan that I didn't want to bf yet, when I was in the recovery room after a GA for a CS, they had already put her to my breast and she was suckling away happily. I was immediately cross they had done it against my wishes but my DH encouraged me to stick at it and see how it went and I'm really glad I did.

You might feel differently nearer/after the birth or you might still want to ff/mix feed. Nobody will mind

[Ashoething]

Smerlin do you have a wedgie from.those judgy pants?.Do you really NOT get that some women cant bf no.matter how hard they try and it is not a lifestyle choice? heres hoping you establish bf witb no probs EH?

[Bodicea]

My midwife gave me the whole Speil about bf but I didn't feel pressured. I said I hadn't decided yet but would prob give it a go and if I didn't like it I wasn't going to persevere. She didn't judge me at all and seemed to agree that was a good attitude. Done a bit of research into it, still not sure it's as amazing as it is cracked up to be. Most studies don't appear to take into account the IQ of the mother and the environment baby is brought up in. One large scottish study did take it into account and found that was that was added to the equation the difference between bf babies and none bf was negligible in IQ. Still prob will give it a go but seriously dont get these people that beat themselves up about it if it doesn't work for them .
I believe that mantra. What works for mum works for baby xxx

[lurcherlover]

Bodicea, I'm not sure what studies you've been reading but actually those by respected bodies always take into account factors such as the mother's IQ and social background. BF still shows as being the healthiest option.

It is a bit sad that in the 21st century we should have to work so hard to convince people that a living substance which is tailor-made for a human baby and packed full of antibodies, and which their body is expecting to be fed and therefore is primed for (a baby's immune system is pretty crap at birth, but that's because nature assumes he/she will be receiving breastmilk which will support and maintain it) has more health benefits for them than the milk of another mammal with added vegetable oil and sugar, freeze-dried in a tin. Formula is the safest alternative to breastmilk, but that does not in any way make it equal.

And I hate that mantra "what works for mum works for baby". Utterly meaningless. Heroin works pretty well for some mothers. Social services take a dim view of it. And before anyone jumps at me, no, I am NOT equating giving your baby formula to giving it heroin. I'm simply pointing out that happy mum does not automatically equal happy baby.

I am NOT anti-formula. I've given it to my own baby. I am anti people thinking it's as good as breastmilk, and choosing to dispute solid, scientific evidence that proves it's not.

[TheFallenNinja]

Everything else aside, it's a choice. You make it.

[Miamiami]

Its sad that BF is stuffed down your throat like religion sometimes is. I believe in freedom of choice.
FWIW BF babies I have seen do not look like they are thriving as much as the FF ones I see.
I also do not believe in extended BF. Its the mothers who keep it going too long to satisfy some need they have. In other words they have ishoos.
Do what you want to do OP. It is your choice to decide.

[lurcherlover]

Miami you are either a troll or woefully ignorant. Bf babies don't thrive as well? Dear me, however has the human race lasted this long?

I thought about addressing your extended bf comment, but I can't be bothered tackling such close-mindedness.

[Miamiami]

lurcher I am entitled to my opinions.

[WinkyWinkola]

Bfing is stuffed down your throat, Miami? By whom? And how, in your entitled opinion?

I'm genuinely curious because in my experience, I've never heard anyone, including health professionals, talk much about it at all.

I just see formula ads and products everywhere. Formula ads that until recently , were not not at all honest about their products. And, in some countries, continue to lie to peddle their wares.

Op, of course it's up to you how you feed your little one. Informed choice is what it's all about.

It's just that an awful awful lot of people are uninformed.

[WinkyWinkola]

And Miami, you're actually not entitled to an opinion if the opinion is based on nothing but ignorance.

Your comment about extended breast feeding being all about women with "ishoos" is one such example of total and utter ignorance.

Educate yourself a bit would you?

[PolkaDottery]

Hmm nobody ever tried to force breastfeeding on me.

My 9 mo was EBF for 6 months despite it being hard work to start with. She slept through from 8 weeks and is the most settled, chilled baby around!

There are so many benefits, cost and health the big ones. People who choose to ignore scientific studies and go on anecdotal evidence are a bit deluded and lack intelligence.

Some people can't BF, but they are a very small minority. Some people don't want to BF. It is fine to FF if that is what you have / want to do, the stuff isn't poison, your children will be fine. Please don't make up crap about it being better though based on your own children / friends children.